I really get why you felt abandoned by your close friend and your mum. It's a horrible realization. Dare I say SNAP? I won't go into the stories of mine that match but I have gone NC with both a long time ago.
I think sometimes others may see us as the ones to help THEM.
The one who listens to THEM.
All being a one way street.
It was bad that at your time of deepest need, they just weren't 'there' for you.
I'm so sorry this happened. Big hugs.
IME this realization can shake us to the core. I've had paradigm shifts immediately after.
It's what you do next that is important and for ONCE the decision needs to have YOU as the centre.
From what I've seen, many people don't cut ties with narcissistic parents until their 30s or 40s. Being optimistic that things will change when....(this happens) or after …… (that happens).
They don't change, they can't.
It doesn't mean we CAN'T have a relationship with people like this, but I'm too old lol, I would never bother again. These relationships ALL end in the same way.
Narcs need empaths. An empath will spend SO MUCH time trying to work out the narc and how to make the relationship more pleasant, more equitable, different.
The narc is only interested in 'supply'.
I cut the supply off now before the extremely damaging 'narcissistic discard' phase. I don't think I have any narcs left now lol (except for a couple at work whom I can avoid most times). I exited from the last known one about a year ago.
Just remember that others are not mind readers, we do have to ask for help or communicate, if we feel safe enough to do so.
When we let these people "go" - even without NC but just to have zero expectations of ANYTHING from them - then we make room for the people who we DO want to have in our life. There may be an Autumn / Winter time in our lives before we see who these people are and / or even branch out further to our interest bases. But it happens and when it does, it's beautiful.
Lots of love EM