The conversations you’re having with your partner sound great. It’s healthy that you two can talk about issues and problem solve together.
I could be misunderstanding but it sounds like you made progress and achieved a “win win”. That’s because I read your post as your partner proposed a compromise, the two of you go together to the holiday house for Easter and then the two of you spend the next long weekend alone. That’s real movement for your partner.
So, why is it bugging you?
Perhaps it’s bugging you because you really just don’t want to go to the family Easter. I get that, four days in the same house might feel like too much.
I mentioned earlier that our family used to travel overseas ever year for an intense four week holiday with my family. For financial reasons we stayed with members of my family for many years.
Now they were my family and I loved them to pieces but it was still hard at times. Loss of privacy, loss of control, loss of independence. When we were able, we organised a hotel for hubby and I. Kids stayed with Grandma or my siblings and their cousins for maximum visit/fun time but we had some privacy.
This arrangement reduced tension and stress for everyone, as it’s not easy hosting a family of four and managing all the different personalities. My mum felt hurt at first but soon enjoyed the benefits and the change was accepted.
What I’m saying is the two of you staying at a local hotel isn’t a bad idea for Easter. Gives you room to breathe, some alone time and you get to enjoy the family fun together at the same time. Would she stay at the hotel with you?
But I think you staying alone at the hotel and her leaving early to join you will cause issues with her family. It will become a “thing” and the focus will be on why you aren’t staying the entire time. Because they will know you’re in the vicinity, they may assume you just don’t want to be with them.
It’s a lot easier to explain you can’t go at all because of the cats or work or health or whatever. It’s also easier to explain a couple needing more space. How would you explain your proposal to her family?
I think the first step is for you to understand why the proposed “alternating” solution to the holiday issue as it stands now bugs you.
Then you can either take the win you’ve got and “suck it up” for Easter knowing big picture wise you’re in a better position, or go back to talk about what’s really bugging you.
Hope this makes sense.
Kind thoughts to you