The end of a relationship can certainly leave you feeling a range of intense emotions. Something that you have worked hard to maintain over time has now come to an end, and it sounds like you have a lot of questions. You have also experienced great loss this year with the death of your father.
Misunderstood you mentioned that you have self harmed in the past but worked hard to change this – that is great to hear. That tells us that you have the strength and determination to overcome challenges; so now let’s
look at what you can do to cope with this relationship break up. Would it help to talk with friends, a family member or perhaps your GP about how you are feeling? Does it help when you focus on doing things – exercise, hobbies,reading, music, writing a journal? Have a think about what worked in the past;
what helped you to stop self harming? The helpful things that you have done in the past, or things that you enjoy, can help you to reconnect with the happy emotions within you and refocus your thinking on your future rather than the end of this relationship. It sounds like another important consideration would be to talk about medication with your GP due to your history of depression.
Often the end of a relationship also means changes to other relationships too – with their friends and family in particular. While this may change over time keep focused on ensuring you have a solid support network from a couple of your friends that can help you through, that you can have some good times with, and that you can talk to when you are feeling really stressed.
The death of your dad is probably still affecting you too. Grief can take time and the first year can be particularly difficult as you are unable to share experiences, celebrations, sadness or just normal daily life with your dad. Grief does lift over time and there will be a point where you still miss your dad but that you have learnt to live with his loss. Again, you will need to think about what helps you to improve your mood and cope with stress as
this will help you with your grief too.
Misunderstood while it might take a little while to adjust to these changes in your life it is important to be hopeful, start doing the things that help you feel better, and seek out a bit of extra help when you need it. This could come from your GP, from our forums, or perhaps a local health professional. Take each day as it comes and slowly you may begin to notice that the difficult emotions associated with your loss begin to lighten
and that you begin to enjoy life more and more.