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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Am I really transgender?

Topic: Am I really transgender?

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Bash
    Bash avatar
    1 posts
    21 April 2020

    Hi,

    I’ve never posted on here before but it seemed like a good idea to get some help.

    I’m a transgender guy, I came out at the end of last year and my parents and friends are good at using the right name/pronouns. It’s great and makes me feel comfortable, but I cant help the feeling of "What if I regret this? What if I’m wrong?". In the past I’ve been told it’s a phase, and I read about other trans people and they all seem so sure, like they never feel doubt. Then I read about the percentage rate of detransitioners and it scares me. Is this a normal feeling for a trans guy? Most of the time I don’t feel doubt, I like being me, I’ve got new found confidence and enjoyment for life.

    I love being a guy and finally being seen as one, I remember throughout my childhood and early teen years repeatedly saying that I thought I was a boy and that I wanted to be a boy. I feel gender dysphoria, though I’ve never been diagnosed so I couldn’t be sure about what I’m feeling, I just know that I feel uncomfortable in my body and how I’m perceived in public. When I look at female bodies I think "I don’t want to look like that." And when I see male bodies I think "I wish I looked like that." And "I’m gonna look like that one day." I want the flat chest and the facial hair and the everything.

    Is this normal? Like, what if I’m wrong and I’m just a weird confused person? What if it really is just a phase and I end up going on hormones and I’m wrong? I’m struggling with this doubt, but I ask myself "do you really want to go back?" and I think no way. Despite this I can’t help the opposing thoughts.

    I hope this makes sense, it’s a bit of a ramble but I'd really love some help on this,

    Thanks.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. eight
    eight avatar
    372 posts
    21 April 2020 in reply to Bash

    look, i just... you keep saying "i am extremely happy being a guy and the idea of having a woman's body/being seen as one makes me so uncomfortable"n i just think gender shouldn't be this You Are Destined to be This Gender. more who do you want to be. what makes you happy. and you clearly feel so good as a dude

    i think theres a lot of trans/lgbt people at large honestly who would back you up on how they feel fake or doubt themselves sometimes. when you grow up in a cishet-default world like that it gets in your head sometimes about how im faking and it turns out that i just wanted to be in a straight marriage or be my assigned gender all along. if you've made the step to come out to friends and family it sounds like you've spent a long time thinking about who you'd like to be you're very sure it's just... transphobic brain worms. n thats no fault of your own its a common experience for everyone in that cishet world and it takes a while to get out but it improves with time and it improves if you've got people to talk and vent to over. keep enjoying yourself, man

    4 people found this helpful
  3. LittleMissAlice
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    LittleMissAlice avatar
    36 posts
    22 April 2020 in reply to Bash

    Hi Bash,

    One thing that really rung with me when reading your post was "I read about other trans people and they all seem so sure, like they never feel doubt". Trust me, as a transgender girl, doubt is such a constant element in our lives and youre definitely not alone in any of what youre feeling. I think that being trans and the whole process is just so big and daunting and terrifying thatd be weird if there wasn't confusion involved.

    Luckily it sounds like you've got some great people in your life to help through this, and whatever you decide makes you the happiest you can be, they can offer all their support.

    xo Marie

  4. tired_magpie
    tired_magpie avatar
    5 posts
    9 June 2020 in reply to Bash

    hey!

    i'm trans myself, and the best piece of advice i've been given on this topic is that asking "what will make me happy?" is a lot more useful than asking "what am i really?". this is especially true for issues of gender because as it's a social construct, there's never really going to be definitive proof one way or the other. but hey, there's no proof for cis people either and they do alright!

    worrying about if you're wrong about yourself is an inevitable product of growing up in a society that tells you that you can only be what you were born as, every trans person feels it. we're rebels, and history will look a lot more kindly on us than the people who put that voice in your head telling you you're not a man.

    stay strong, bro!

    - elijah

    2 people found this helpful
  5. Trans women
    Trans women  avatar
    1 posts
    6 July 2020
    Im not sure if im transgender aswell.
    Ive felt like i was a girl when younger and i wanted to be a women im not comfortable in my male body.
    However ive been seeing a counsellor to get letter to start transitioning but she said knowing that i have no support at moment she wont sign letter for hrt.
    I have tried for so ling been rejected, she says it sounds likely i have Gender dysphoria.
    I have doubt sometimes.

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