Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Ashamed I'm straight?

Topic: Ashamed I'm straight?

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Benzaiten43
    Benzaiten43 avatar
    4 posts
    7 October 2018

    I have been questioning my sexuality over the last couple of months and I happen to have a crush on a guy at the moment (I'm a girl). I can't even imagine having a serious relationship with another girl or any other gender. because of this I'm beginning to question whether I'm really pansexual or not. I think I may have just been caught up in the hype and thought subconsciously to myself that I could better fit in with my friends if I weren't straight. Maybe I was faking all along??

    this was more or less a rant but if any of you could share your thoughts on what I am experiencing that would be great!

    <3

  2. LizK
    LizK avatar
    8 posts
    7 October 2018 in reply to Benzaiten43

    Hi <3

    Could it be possible that as we develop as human beings, we grow and learn about ourselves along the way...for some people they don't ever ask the question but for some it never stops being the question. Its ok to change...sometimes it takes awhile to figure out who we are...took me over 50 years. Don't to hard on yourself

    LizK

    1 person found this helpful
  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    11857 posts
    7 October 2018 in reply to Benzaiten43

    Welcome Benzaiten to the forum.

    this is a friendly,caring and supportive community which is nonjudgmental.

    You have written a very interesting post that many will relate to.

    Lizk has given you a very thoughtful reply.

    I think we do change through out our lives with our sexuality in different ways for some the changes are small for others quite noticeable.

    There are so many labels today that it can be quite confusing so rather than follow our desires we sometimes find we worry about what label we fit into or what others may think.

    What do you think would happen if you approached this guy you have the crush on?

    Would it worry you what your friends would think about you?

    Thanks again for starting this thread.

    Feel free to post as much as you want to.

    Quirky

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Harmonia
    Harmonia avatar
    2 posts
    10 October 2018 in reply to Benzaiten43
    Hi!! :):) I think I've had similar feelings to you, although relating to slightly different labels, so I hope this will help a little (even though I am personally still significantly confused myself!).
    Don't forget that sexuality is usually a spectrum that you will likely move around on throughout your life. It can be normal to feel straight when it comes to relationships, yet still have other attraction to other genders, or think you might 'be into' other genders. It's also okay to focus your attention on the person you like/love at any given time, and I have similar feelings where I have difficulty imagining a relationship with anybody who is not the sex of the person I currently 'like' or am dating. Therefore, if it makes you feel better at the moment to focus on labels, it is completely normal to feel pansexual and be into a guy, without current romantic feelings for other genders. In the case of pansexual feelings as well, it is very possible that it is more about personality for you and that you might fall in love with anybody, if their personality is right for you. I know it seems ridiculous to say, but try not to stress too much about it. You don't always need to have a label and you don't always need to feel like you have/are the same, specific sexuality. I know how painful and confusing it can be to continuously question yourself and your changing feelings (although it is completely natural) and I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't believe there is enough sympathy out there for people who are questioning.
    I personally believed completely that I was straight up until the age of 20, when I began to question whether I could ever be into people of my sex. I was always an ally but personally had no desire to ever kiss a girl and never thought that I would be able to be in a relationship with one (even after I realised I may be 'into' them). However, very surprisingly, I have been dating my current partner for a year (same sex) and I am completely in love. If someone had told me a couple of years ago that I would be dating a woman I would never have believed it (you never know where you'll be in a few years time!) It has been very hard for me and very confusing, because although it now feels right to be with her, I spent so much of my life so far being so sure that I was straight, without question.
    Hopefully this made some sense to you, sorry if I've only confused you more!! Good luck :)
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Benzaiten43
    Benzaiten43 avatar
    4 posts
    16 October 2018 in reply to LizK
    Thank you :-) <3
  6. Benzaiten43
    Benzaiten43 avatar
    4 posts
    16 October 2018 in reply to quirkywords

    Thank you for responding to me, the guy is basically my best friend and I would hate to ruin our relationship. Almost half of my friends are straight, not that they really care who you are attracted to, so no. reading these replies has really helped me to just accept...this :-) <3

  7. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    11857 posts
    18 October 2018 in reply to Benzaiten43

    benzaiten,

    thanks for your replies.

    i am glad the replies have helped in some way.remembef this is your thread and you can post here as much as you like.

    Relationship are tricky and can change which is what makes them interesting.

    All the best

    Quirky

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up