Thanks for posting, I'm sorry to hear you're suffering with your sexuality, it's such a tricky topic for so many.
There are so many pressures and expectations on how we behave and who we should be, no more than about our sexuality. The nosey, fearful few just hate the fact that they can't control who we love or are intimate with, and they can't handle not having control. To me sexuality is a wonderful thing, where we share fundamental intimacy with others, in the ultimate human connection. I'm sorry that you feel your sexuality is a burden, and that you can't freely explore that part of your life. For some reason, who we go to bed with just gets a bee in people's bonnet. They don't care if we eat junk food, or drink too much, or belittle each other or our children, but for us to go to bed with another man? My goodness no, that would be unacceptable! I just don't get it, and to be honest, I don't think they do either. It's discrimination, and it's hatred, fueled by fear, and those pressures are inconsistent with the tolerant, accepting society we're trying to build.
It may not mean much coming from just me on a forum, but I totally accept who you are, and there are millions of others (who aren't paralysed by fear) who support diverse sexuality constructions too. We are on your side, and I don't want this to come out wrong, but honestly more of society is just starting to care less. When I hear someone is gay, or bisexual, or anything else, I think, "you didn't tell me their favourite food, why are you telling me their sexuality?" It's just slowly being destigmatised, because those who aren't afraid (most of the young people) are totally happy with how people want to explore that part of their lives.
It's a long journey this one, and if we can lighten any of the burden we carry, the whole thing gets a little bit easier and a lot more fun. Have you thought about speaking to a psychologist? Sometimes I find it helpful just to share everything, and see what feelings I really have underneath.
Feel free to keep the chat going,