Hi ADR and welcome to the forums,
I have very limited knowledge or experience with what it means to be a MtF transsexual. And that is I suppose why I am replying.
Do you think perhaps your wife is like me? No idea of what that really means or how it will change her life and your marriage.
If this was my husband I suspect part of me would be angry too. Possibly because of my lack of knowledge and understanding.
Is it possible to leave some information for her to read about what to expect?
Also (I'm so sorry to be so ignorant) but does that mean you still want to be married? If you changed gender would you still want your wife? I put these stuoid questions out there because I keep wondering maybe part of your wife's reluctance is confusion or feeling rejected?
Also... One thing I really wonder is whether you've been able to talk to your wife about what she wants? Perhaps part of her is grieving the loss of the man she chose to marry? You will always be the same person but what about attraction? How can she know whether she will still be attracted to you (or if you want her?).
I think this decision is a courageous one. And you have made the right choice by being honest.
A year is not really a long time if you're afraid of the possible end of your marriage and the loss of the person you love and trust.
I agree completely with Croix about seeking help for yourself regardless of whether your wife is supportive or not.
But I also wonder if her anger comes from fear. Fear of your rejection. Fear of the unknown.
I do think if she can't talk without yelling you could try writing her letters. Start with the really important stuff to her...
Do you still want to be her spouse?
Do you still love her?
What does it mean for you as a couple?
Is your marriage over?
So many confusing questions. And scary ones for a wife to ask her husband. Maybe it will be easier for her to read your letters in private.
Just me thinking aloud. I hope this doesn't upset you. I'm very aware my knowledge in this area doesn't exist.
Above all please take care of yourself. And know you are always welcome here to talk if you need support.