Hi MissBenthos, I think that everything we see in popular culture - romantic movies etc - sets us up to think that love in relationships is supposed to be at 100% intenstiy all the time or its not working. It doesn't work like that, though. Tied up in all those pop culture myths is the idea that when you enter a relationship with someone, somehow all your desire hormones just switch off like a light and you never find anyone else attractive ever again. It doesn't work like that either! The fact that the relationship with your long term partner has survived the transition to polyamory and he is supporting you through this recent break-up should give you some clues about the strength of that relationship. Forget what other people say, what does he mean to you?