dear Tricky, welcome to the site.
Your post seems as though you can't make up your mind on what sexual side you like, either male or female, this is entirely a decision which you will have to make, no one else can do it for you or talk you into either a heterosexual relationship or a male-male relationship, it does matter to you but if my sons had come home and said that they were gay, so what and would I care, no, because they have to be happy.
It's impossible to be in any sexual relationship that you don't want, no force or no persuasion will ever work, it has to be what you feel you want to have.
If you decide that you want both and become bi-sexual then so be it, where you may want to tell your partner, again that's your choice.
As you see there is a section on the list below where Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, or intersex is included, and so it should, and we do have people who post a comment from this section quite often, I wish more would, because you can't someone that they like the blue colour when they only like the red colour.
I hope that you can get back to us, you are safe here, but would like to hear from you. Geoff.