Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm finding it hard to talk lately.
You said something that I found myself nodding along with.
Cant be bothered trying anything else. I'm too exhausted. I have lost faith in humanity after this. People are cruel and no reason is good enough
I hear you loud and clear on this. Feel the same way. When I'm hurt and a mess it feels safer to shut out the world and reject everyone before they can reject me.
But... Even though it doesn't feel like it right now there are people in this world who are genuinely kind. Shutting down and pushing everyone away doesn't truly help because you'll push away the support you need too.
Sometimes that's why I think the forums feel safe to me. Because I can choose how close I let anyone get. Sad huh.
As to the bullies online... Feel you there too. I found naked images shared of me in my late teens last year. The choices left to me were very limited and not really enough.
It feels uniquely horrible and invasive to be attacked by someone online. It is so public and there is very little control you have once things are published online. I don't think people easily understand the impact if they haven't experienced it.
Your post helped to read somehow. Misery loving company perhaps? But somehow I've felt the worst thing has been my loss of trust in humanity. I've always been optimistic and lately I feel like this has broken something inside.
I suppose I wanted to post just to be here with you. I can't make anything better or change what those horrible people did to you.
March 20 is the National day against cyberbullying and violence. I hope that means you'll see more information out there about options and supports available to you. Personally though I find a partner you can trust and be open with is the most important support. I'm glad you have a supportive partner.
Online abuse made me realise how low my self esteem truly is and that is something I CAN control or try to. What those jerks said has clearly thrown you and hurt you. Can you think of anything that makes you feel good about yourself that you can focus on right now when you're feeling so low?
It might not mean much but I'm thankful that you are here and talking openly. It's the first time in days I've written something without deleting it. Thank you.