So I’m a heterosexual 64yo man, what would I know ?
What I do hold close to my chest is a number of values and beliefs that once shared, might help you.
The singer Missy Higgins once hit the nail on the head when she said “sexuality is fluid” ... she meant that she followed her heart, regardless of gender.
Many people have various hang ups that is wide ranging. Some can’t talk intimately, some can’t fall in love, some can’t commit or be considerate... so your barrier in not being able to be intimate is not uncommon and in fact with the right partner you might eventually improve especially with the guidance of an appropriate therapist. Anything is possible but I’d suggest you sound like you are lacking positive thinking as one core issue. However it’s best not to worry about such issues now, but concentrate on accepting yourself as a unique individual that the only rules to abide by are- your own.
You are achieving a lot just being a mum, but on a personal level you have needs and deserve the comfort of a loving partner if that’s your goal,
finally please place this in the search bar
you are still a jigsaw piece