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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Finally accepting myself

Topic: Finally accepting myself

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Purplebear
    Purplebear avatar
    4 posts
    11 June 2019
    Hi people!

    I've been struggling with this for a long time but I just wanted to know what other people's processes were when they finally accepted their identity?
    I'm 26 and just accepted myself as bi-sexual... I've had feelings towards women but always thought they were just feelings you got from being friends with someone. I'd thought I'd only be attracted to members of the opposite sex but since high school I've been struggling with knowing what was going on with me. My family doesn't accept me but my friends do. What makes things worse for me is that every girl I've fallen for doesn't feel the same way (which is fine) or I've had one call me greedy for liking both males and females.
    I've felt happier since coming out even though I haven't had a successful same sex relationship. I've only every had successful relationships with guys.
    One other thing I've been struggling with is also being poly. Said friend also called me greedy for that... I appoligise if this part shouldn't go here I just don't know where to post it.

    Any thoughts on dealing with unhelpful family?
    1 person found this helpful
  2. Alexlisa
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Alexlisa avatar
    137 posts
    13 June 2019 in reply to Purplebear

    Hello Purplebear,

    That’s so great that you’ve been able to find acceptance and understanding of yourself. I know it can be a confusing path, especially if you have people in your life that you’re not sure how they’ll react. My family was not supportive of me when I came out. It took a long time for that to change, little by little, but it has got a lot better. I was really hurt by their responses and felt abandoned at a time when I really needed them.

    The biggest thing that helped me was to connect with people in the gay community who could understand what I was going through. I reached out to services like Qlife ( to find some social and support groups that I could go to and there I made a group of friends that I felt at home with. They were a great support to me and became my pseudo family at a time when I needed to feel like I belonged somewhere. Qlife is great to get in touch with because they’ll be able to tell you about lots of services, supports and social things that you can access. They also give phone and online counselling. They’d be great to talk to about your family situation because (unfortunately) its still a very common occurrence and they would be able to help you with ideas and support.

    I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. It makes me sad to hear that others go through the same thing with their families. We deserve to be accepted and loved just like anyone else, don’t let anyone ever make you forget that you are precious. My group of gay friends were able to hold my hand through the worst of it and we could share our experiences openly and understand each other in ways that I never could with my straight friends. I guess cos it’s such a unique journey to take. I wish you luck.


    1 person found this helpful

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