Just reading your story and I fully understand what you are saying. I'm a fair bit older than you at 47 and have been married for 20 years. I've recently taken the step of coming out due to the depression and dark thoughts about suicide, but really glad that I have taken the steps.
I haven't told my folks yet but plan on doing so in next couple of weeks, it scares me a great deal. Thankfully everyone, inculding my wife, has been so supportive. It may surprise you that people may be okay. I was surprised, especially by my wife and kids. Though not easy.
I wish i had done it when i was younger but this is how it is. My folks have always displayed homophobic bigotry but i know they love me. They voted no too, and said awful stuff, but they don't know anyone gay and are uneducated.
someone already mentioned BB & QLife, give them a call. I did and talking to someone really made a difference. I now see a counselor who is helping with strategies on coping. You can also see your Dr about a Mental health care plan which helps getting a psychologist. Qlife can recommended a LGBTQ friendly one.
Hang in there, this forum helps as well. I jumped on before I came out and it helped.
Be true to yourself, you matter. It's your life.