Hi Rusty123, you sound really confused and it sounds like you've been through a lot. If it helps you any, I'll say something that I've said to people in a number of threads here when this issue has come up. There are three parts to sexuality, orientation (what identity or label you choose for yourself, such as 'bisexual' or 'gay' or 'straight'), attraction - how you feel inside about members of the same and/or opposite sex, and behaviour - what you actually do.
It doesn't sound like you're really comfortable with labels, that's fine. All the messages we get in society tell us that being gay or bisexual is not 'normal', and there is strong social encouragement to not be either of those things.
Attraction is a complicated thing. You can feel sexually attracted to men but prefer romantic relationships with women. When it comes to your attraction, you can be attracted to both men and women. From what you're saying, you've been involved with men too much for there to be no attraction there.
It sounds like the main thing you're lacking is love and respect, and not seeing your kids must be hard. What do you want to happen next?