Hi there Jim
Firstly, I’d like to extend a very warm welcome to you to
Beyond Blue and to thank you for providing your post.
Secondly, you’re on meds, you know you’ve got a mental
health illness (depression and anxiety) – and so from there I say, you have
depression – full stop. You don’t need
to ever compare yourself to others and think, “oh gee, should I really be here –
wow, my troubles aren’t nearly as great as so many others”. Please Jim, don’t think that – in fact, get
those thoughts out of your mind. We don’t
compare on this site – and in general, we don’t compare. We all have the illness and so we’re all
battling and just trying to do our best.
Someone new comes here and is seeking support – we’re there
for them. We’re here for you.
I nodded my head when you said, I’m on daily meds and I don’t
feel much different – why aren’t I happy now?
I thought the same thing – why isn’t there a medication that when you
pop it, you become happy are able to look at life and things so
differently. Unfortunately, while we’re
all looking for that kind of thing – there isn’t something like that yet. Not even the dentist’s happy gas – I thought
that would help me at one stage, but alas, all I ended up with was a very big
bill. :( Ok ok, just jokes there to lighten things up
BUT, you have said 5 months on the meds, and you feel no
better – possibly worse. Jim, it’s high
time to get back to your GP for a medication review. Perhaps an increase; or perhaps a change in the type you’re
taking. There’s just so many on the
market these days – this could be something to investigate.
I am concerned though where you’ve mentioned about “offing
yourself to stop these feelings” – mate, I hope this was just a passing
comment, but when I read things like this, my ears prick up on alert. Now you’ve got a real weird image of me
hey? A laughing gas junkie who got
funny ears that flick up like a Doberman Pincher!?!!? Good times.
Jim, you’re 33 – you’ve got a great boyfriend who loves you –
you’ve got a roof over your head and food on the table. Keep thinking of these things in the first
instance when you consider the “offing” side of things. Also have you spoken to your boyfriend about
these feelings – or just your depression in general?
I want to write more, but I’m thinking my character count is
at its limit.
Hope to hear back from you soon.