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Topic: My daughter

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. rabbits
    rabbits avatar
    12 posts
    26 November 2013

    This is about my teenage daughter. She has always been the most wonderful and caring individual I have ever met. Then a few months ago things started to change, she lost her temper frequently, was often rude, dismissive and nasty to her brother (something she has never been). She began breaking rules, answering back, causing fights and being disrespectful in many ways. 

    Now, some of you might think this is normal for a teenager, but as a mother you just know when things are beyond the usual scope of teenage hormones. Still she wouldn't tell me what was going on, and I didn't want to pressure her so I didn't push the subject, trusting that she would come to me when she was ready.

    Of course, she eventually did. My darling daughter came to my room, told me she had to tell me something..... told me she didn't want to tell me.... told me she was scared things would change..... then eventually told me she was bi. Then she broke down chanting "It's so bad, so bad, so bad".

    For months I knew something was going on in my daughters life. I knew she was struggling with something, hurting about something, and when she finally came out and told me she was bi..... My God! I was so relieved. She was OK! No-one had hurt her! She didn't hate me (or her brother)! She was bi! That was it! My gorgeous, fabulous, wonderful daughter was going to be just fine!

    So I had to ask: "Why is it bad?" 

    "It will make things so much more difficult" she responds.

    I then had the true privilege of one of the most honest, intimate and trusting conversations I have ever had with another human being. That one conversation has taught me so much about inner strength, the importance of being true to oneself, the value of standing up for who you are and what you believe in, while protecting yourself from bigotry and ignorance. I am so proud of my daughter for being herself, for having the courage to explore who she is, and having the wisdom to love herself as she takes this extraordinary journey.

     

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15085 posts
    26 November 2013 in reply to rabbits

    dear Rabbits, I presume that you are the mum here, but you are so lucky to have such a lovely daughter who can confide in you, and that's truly a real bonus for your upbringing, and should be proud of her, and I know that you are.

    If either of my two sons told me that they were gay or bisexual, it wouldn't worry me one bit, that's their choice, and if I told them off or to get out of the house then this would be totally unfair, and it would certainly break any connection we have.

    Your daughter should have no fear what's so ever, the world has changed it's sociology basis, and this will always happen.

    She has now taken you in as a friend, mum and someone who she can now confide in, because out in the world there are always people who want to blame or pick on others, and don't realise that people are allowed to changed in any direction they wish to. Geoff.

  3. Chris B
    Community Manager
    • Works for beyondblue managing these forums. Not a mental health professional, but here to help. Email: christopher.banks@beyondblue.org.au
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Chris B avatar
    1757 posts
    26 November 2013 in reply to rabbits

    Hi rabbits,

    Congratulations, what a wonderfully affirming experience for your daughter at what can be a terrifying time in life - I remember it well when I came out to my parents.

    You and your daughter may find this new resource beyondblue has launched useful, 'Families Like Mine' - it includes some personal stories and videos:  http://familieslikemine.beyondblue.org.au (please copy and paste the link)

    best
    CB

    _________________________________________
    Online Community Manager

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