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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Questioning my sexuality

Topic: Questioning my sexuality

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. ValkyrieStorm9
    ValkyrieStorm9 avatar
    1 posts
    1 January 2021
    From the age of 16 I have identified as Bisexual. I have been sexual with both males and females and enjoy both.
    However, I have only really been in relationships with men. In all of these relationships I have cheated on them with women.
    I am now married to a man and we have 2 young kids together. I have just been caught cheating on him for the 4th time in our 10 year relationship. He has given me yet another chance because he loves me unconditionally but I am starting to think the reason I cannot stay faithful to him is because I am actually a lesbian but I have never been in a relationship with a woman to truely find out.
    I have very strong feelings for the woman I recently cheated with.
    My main concern is my children and my marriage. I don’t want to throw my marriage away and force my children into a split home and change my whole life if I am not 100% sure.
    I do love my husband and don’t want to continue hurting him with my cheating either. I am starting to feel like the reason I cheat is because there is something missing in our relationship.
    I am extremely lost. I don’t know who I am anymore or what I want and I have a lot on the line. I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to work out what to do.
  2. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9087 posts
    4 January 2021 in reply to ValkyrieStorm9

    Hello Dear ValkyrieStorm,

    A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

    I am so sorry that it’s taken a while for you to get a reply...Sometimes through busy times and out of our control posts can be pushed back....It’s no reflexion on you or your post..

    On saying that..I hope I’m not going to disappoint you..I am not the best person to help you, but by me replying to will push your thread forward and I hope so much that one of our lovely community members will come in and talk you who will be more knowledgeable than I am..,

    My kindest and most caring thoughts..


    1 person found this helpful
  3. sunnyl20
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    sunnyl20 avatar
    203 posts
    4 January 2021 in reply to ValkyrieStorm9

    Hey ValkyrieStorm9,

    I am really sorry to hear how lost and stuck you are feeling right now. It sounds like you are very torn and have a lot on your mind. I cannot imagine how overwhelming it must be. I think it's important to take stock of everything that is happening and what you are feeling, and not rush into anything. There is a lot to think about and process. I don't really have any advice but I think you may find it really helpful to look at QLife ( - have you heard of them? They are an LGBTI+ support services and offer online & phone counselling, they may be able to offer you more tailored support and advice.

    Please do not hesitate to talk more on here when you feel up to it. We are here to listen.

    Take care.

  4. Jo8049
    Jo8049 avatar
    712 posts
    29 January 2021 in reply to ValkyrieStorm9

    Welcome ValkyrieStoem9. I feel your pain and confusion . Professional help is needed to find a place less tormented . x

    This is me V , I have incredibly strong emotions and emotional reactions . if I were in similar position it would be impossible to not be completely controlled by them . That in the past for me has led to quite a few things ending badly . Please talk to someone ( Psych , etc ) before stuff is done that can't be undone . A good professional should have wise words that will help you . Good luck x

    Warm calming hugs , please take care . Jo

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