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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Recently out and a bit unsure of the 'what next'

Topic: Recently out and a bit unsure of the 'what next'

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. kellyd
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    kellyd avatar
    8 posts
    12 April 2021

    Hi everyone,

    I came out to my family and friends in June last year. I live in Melbourne and so such a long time locked down really gave me time to think about the positive impact being my authentic self to everyone, every time could have on my life. I decided that after living a lot of my life knowing I was keeping a part of myself from the world, it was time to be me 100% and be proud of that. Prior to that, I was married to a heterosexual man and had never discussed being gay with my friends or family.

    Coming out has been one of the best choices I ever made. Whilst being my true self all the time without apology comes with some difficulties and challenges I wasn't expecting (a good example is being shouted at from a car by a group of men) my mental health has significantly improved compared to before. Even though I see all positives in my life now and I am VERY blessed to be someone who came out to a supportive family and chosen family, I have a million mixed feelings about my life now and I'm not really sure where to start or how to unpack or unravel them so they make sense to me.

    I know I can't be the only person who has felt this way before and so I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on how I might start to be able to identify each feeling or emotion I'm having separately so I can work through them. At the moment it feels like a giant mess and I don't know where to start.



  2. socialmoth
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    socialmoth avatar
    79 posts
    12 April 2021 in reply to kellyd

    Hi kellyd,

    You've done an amazing and brave thing by coming out and I'm so glad to hear that your mental health has improved by you being your authentic self.

    Even if you're feeling good, I'd highly recommend seeing a counselor or psychologist just to unpack everything that is going on in your head. Having a professional to talk to is really beneficial.

    Another option may be to write everything down. I have found that writing how I'm feeling has helped me connect the dots I may not have seen otherwise and really reflect on my experiences and feelings. I keep a notebook and pen next to my bed and write a little bit every night.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. CalmCat
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    13 April 2021 in reply to kellyd

    Hi kellyd,

    Thank you for sharing something so personal with us, you are courageous!

    Its so lovely to hear a story like yours, coming out and now feeling better than ever. I know everything is perfect for you, but keep defining yourself and your values, in no time you'll be the best version of yourself.

    There are so many support groups in Melbourne you could link up with to meet people. Like Globe, a LGBT networking event.

    Let us know how your feeling and your thoughts!



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