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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Sex girl on girl after getting drunk

Topic: Sex girl on girl after getting drunk

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. N1
    N1 avatar
    1 posts
    16 December 2018

    I was really drunk and ended up having sex with a girl who was also drunk. I told her in multiple ways that I was feeling really excited and want to leave the room.. But she was adamant that I should stay and she was behaving as if she was luring me in. She was saying things like she is feeling hot and would love to sleep with her clothes off. This was months back and then we never spoke to each other again. But she is now outing me saying I am a lesbian and stuff to other people around me....well...which I am not...and evwn thinking about that day makes me sick to my core....no offence to anyone...but I dont know how to get through this. I tried speaking to her, but she is behaving as if I gave her no choice.....or I am not even supposed to say her name and such.I dont know what to do...I dont want anyone listening to this story of shame.....I'd rather die.

  2. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    10385 posts
    16 December 2018 in reply to N1

    Dear N1~

    I'd like to give you a warm welcome here and try to set your mind at rest.

    Reading your story I honestly think this other person is the one with the problem. I guess you would have to ask yourself what is happening in her life to make her feel she has to raise this at all - and put it in terms that are rather distorted.

    I suspect you are building the business of reputation up more than it deserves. The atmosphere around all aspects of sex has changed, if people experiment so they end up knowing what they are and are not attracted to - so what?

    Umpteen years ago I lived with my first partner before making it permanent, and in those days it was very much frowned upon (her job strongly disapproved), nowadays nobody would give it a second thought. The same applies to you situation, it is nothing remarkable at all.

    For me at least sex is part of a relationship, and that has all sorts of other things in it of equal or even more importance. The person's reliability, kindness, sense of humor, outlook on life ... the list goes on. Any person you will wish to be with long-term I am sure is the sort of person who will see the real you and not be influenced by other people's stories.

    For casual inquiries by people that do you do not want to know there is always "MYOB" (mind your own business). In fact saying that is not a bad thing anyway, letting people know you are confident enough in yourself to draw boundaries.

    Croix

    3 people found this helpful
  3. Chase_92
    Chase_92 avatar
    1 posts
    22 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Some great advice from Croix, nothing extraordinary or shameful with anyone exploring their sexuality these days.

    This girl can say whatever she likes about you but it sounds to me as if she has the issue with what happened or is unsure of her feeling where as you seem to have moved on. You shouldn't think of what you did as disgusting or wrong or be ashamed to talk about it with the right people if that's what u feel u need to do. Being called a lesbian is a compliment as far as I'm concerned, you know the truth and people will soon forget the rubbish she's putting out there. If I heard anything about a friend, girl or boy, similar to what you say she's saying about you id think straight past the sordid details of who seduced who etc and be proud of a friend that had the confidence, maturity and desire to explore her sexuality in that way. Im a straight guy but I'd like to think that I could be confident enough follow my sexuality anywhere it may take me even briefly and not feel ashamed or regret anything. Even if it was exposed, there is no shame in sexuality of any form as far as im concerned. If any one I knew changed their view of me based on a heat of the moment decision to experiment with sex or sexuality. I'd think they can miss out all they like and I'd move on from them and not look back. U should try do the same.

  4. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    blondguy avatar
    11220 posts
    22 December 2018 in reply to N1

    Hello N1

    Sorry to interrupt your thread topic for a minute if thats okay

    Hello Chase_92 and Welcome to the forums :-) Thankyou for helping support N1 on her thread!

    I hope you can stick around the forums if you choose to do so

    Happy Christmas

    Paul

  5. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
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    monkey_magic avatar
    3936 posts
    23 December 2018 in reply to N1

    Hi N1,

    Can I just say that I think you r courageous to share your story as it sounds like it was hard to do so. Exploring your sexuality is a brave thing to do in my opinion. I'm pretty open minded and my instinct is saying that the other girl might be feeling shame, or guilt, and has her barriers up. It all sounds immature. It would be great if u could both openly talk about things. Hopefully it settles in time. Please don't feel humiliated.

    Welcome to BB....

    Hope you have a merry Xmas

    MM

  6. Guest7774
    Guest7774 avatar
    4 posts
    23 December 2018 in reply to N1
    Wow that's a tough one. I find it ironic that shes calling you a lesbian when it clearly takes two to tango, having said that you may be bisexual and its nothing to be ashamed of. What you do in the bedroom and who you do it with is your own business and neither I or anyone has the right to tell you what to do here. So having that sorted you still have the issue of her outing you as a lesbian. Take away her gender for a second, have you ever had a guy call you a dreadful name or brag to his friends about you after a sexual encounter? well she is clearly being a douche bag just like him and she should be treated the same. Hope this has helped.
  7. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    15319 posts
    23 December 2018 in reply to N1

    Hello N1, can I welcome you to the forums.

    The only way to overcome this is to stand strong, be yourself and let people see you as you want them to because it's too difficult to try and change someone who keeps lying, they will be shown the truth.

    Geoff.

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