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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Transgender teen

Topic: Transgender teen

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Apple king
    Apple king  avatar
    1 posts
    8 September 2020

    I’m not sure where else to go to get help so here I am!

    I’m currently out an an enby person and have been receiving help from my girlfriend to work out my gender identity I’m 18 and AFAB and am growing more and more disconnected to my assigned gender at birth.
    Ive been in the LGBT+ community for six years or so now and I feel very foolish that it’s taken me long to realise that my ended identity might not be what I always thought it was! I’m wondering if 18 is too late to realise my gender identity ? I feel very very uncomfortable in my body and it’s really getting me down.
    does anyone have any advice? I’m so confused and it’s all very overwhelming! I keep reading things that people always knew as a kid and but because I’m autistic I never really showed much self reflection as a child and never really picked up any signs that other trans people seemed to go through!? Am I broken?

    Please help
    much love; Lindsay

  2. uncut_gems
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    uncut_gems avatar
    351 posts
    8 September 2020 in reply to Apple king

    Hi Apple king,

    Welcome to the forums! Thank you for coming here to share what's on your mind. While I myself am cis, I have lots of trans and nonbinary friends who came into these identities later in life (in their 20s, after uni, and even later). While some people are sure of their gender identity since childhood, others, for a variety of reasons, take more time to discover that for them living authentically might include changing their gender. There's absolutely nothing wrong with starting to figure that out, or at least think deeply about it, in your late teens.

    It's fantastic that you are already a proud member of the LGBT+ community, where hopefully you should feel welcome to express these thoughts and feelings. We're always here for you on the forums!

    Best,

    Gems

    1 person found this helpful
  3. brian23
    brian23 avatar
    14 posts
    19 September 2020 in reply to Apple king

    Hey Lindsay, what’s up! I’m glad that you have support from your partner.
    You needn’t feel foolish for not figuring out your gender identity prior to this. Many people discover their gender identities way later in life than 18. I know a trans man who started transitioning when he was 63 years old!

    Everyone moves at their own pace, and everyone has their own journey to travel. You are not alone, and you are very brave to have started questioning the foundations of your identity.

    Not everybody knows that they are transgender when they are children. Many of us might have figured it out if we’d known about transgender people at that age, but it’s difficult to identify with a word you don’t even know! Besides, many of us don’t start identifying as transgender until the beginning of puberty, when gender dysphoria is triggered by secondary sex characteristics and physical changes.

    There is a correlation between Autistic individuals and transgender people, one that is pretty unexplained from a scientific point of view. This study revealed that 0.7% of the general Australian population is Autistic, whereas 4.8% of studied transgender people were Autistic:

    https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/trgh.2018.0019

    You can find more transgender-centric studies here:

    https://www.transresearch.org.au/publishedresearch

    And more helpful resources here:

    https://www.transresearch.org.au/transpeople

    In summary, it is not abnormal for trans people to be Autistic. It is also normal to figure things out around 18 years of age, or even later. You are not broken or bad. There are many AFAB non-binary people in this world, and (FYI) many butches who are gender non-conforming. Some butches even get top surgery, or bind their chests. There is a whole world of gender diversity out there, and you are welcome in this community. Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and you will figure things out as time goes on.

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