yes, i find it important to have other lesbian/gay friends. i seem to take it too far and flirt and would think what they would be like in a romantic sense. i love the 'first time' experience.. the first attraction, the first kiss, those butterflies. my counsellor may think that theres a link to my sexual abuse of when i was young. because when i described how i felt then, its pretty much the same as what i feel now.
then theres also, me. when i become unhappy in a relationship, my eyes start to wander. i live with my partner, who lives in the same house as her ex husband and thier teenage daughter. its alot to take on, but dont get me wrong, we all get along well. i personally have a couple of problems with the daughter as shes the only one and very spoilt. i am unhappy, depressed. i feel as tho ive had a part-time girlfriend cross between a best friend as we dont do anything to each other while others are around, i felt as tho im a dirty secret or something, as not too many people know, its a different set up.
i love my girl to bits, but ive become slowly depressed with it all. i dont want to break up her family, i dont want to take anything away from her. i suggested that i move out on my own, have her stay with me etc.. but she seems not to like that idea at all. she has her cake and is eating it.
im left screaming out.. 'what about me!' 'what do i do?!'