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Forums / Staying well / 30 minutes can change your life

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life

12 posts, 0 answered
  1. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9749 posts
    7 June 2015

    I think there is a good percentage of members here that overall need stimulation, perhaps you are a negative thinker? From a negative family? 

     I was a negative guy until I hit 23yo. Then an event occured where it changed my life forever- it was a motivation lecture. This might interest you. I'll try to be brief. I sold insurance for a short time. I was doing ok. I went to this lecture as part of my training. The guy talking was "Bill" and he opened up telling us how, at 42yo he started selling insurance. But after 6 months not one policy was sold. With the stress he had a heart attack and lying in hospital his wife came for a visit and asked Bill what he wanted to do when he was discharged from hospital. "I'm going to be a millionaire selling insurance" Bill blurted. His wife laughed at him and it was that laugh that sealed Bill's future. For he no longer cared for anything else. His wife seemed to ridicule him with "that laugh".

    Bill started to put plans in place. For motivation he decided to stop his car at 11am everyday where ever he was, and knock on every door of that street until he finished every house. If the street was really long he would return the next day and continue. He started selling a few small policies. Then one day he was in the centre of Melbourne and looked at his clock and saw it was 11am. He was in a major street in the heart of the city. But...good to his promise he started knocking on doors, every door of every tall building. Two weeks later he is still knocking. He arrived at a building owned by a major mining company. He made an appointment and the guy said "bring along a superannuation expert with you". The next day he was riding the elevator up to that office and the expert told him "introduce me Bill then keep quiet...leave it to me" Well Bill actually fell asleep during the discussions. Then forms were signed. On the way down the elevator the expert asked Bill "do you know what just happened"? "No" said Bill. "We just sold Australia's biggest mining company an extra 1.5% superannuation for their 60,000 employees" said the expert. "That means I get nothing because I'm on a wage, but your commission is just over one million dollars". Bill returned home, put his slippers on and relaxed. His wife came home and asked "how did you go Bill"? "I made one million dollars today....AND DONT EVER LAUGH AT ME LIKE THAT AGAIN !!!!!

    By this time he was yelling at us. Never ever give up...!

    Try motivation.

    Tony WK

    7 people found this helpful
  2. JessF
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    JessF avatar
    1548 posts
    11 June 2015 in reply to white knight

    Hello Tony, this reminds me of an interview I heard recently about a man in a similar kind of situation.  He wasn't selling insurance, but it was a similar kind of performance-based or sales type job.  He was experiencing extreme and increasing anxiety, and when he analysed why he realised that it was the fear of rejection that was crippling him.  So he tried something unique that he decided to call REJECTION THERAPY.

    He wrote up a series of cards containing scenarios that would prompt him to approach a stranger (or even a friend) and ask a question that would almost be sure to result in a NO answer.  From simple things like asking if he could cut to the front of a queue, to asking somebody if they could give him a lift to an out of the way location.  It not only helped desensitise him to those 1,000 no answers that you get on the way to a yes, sometimes he would be surprised by the amount of times he would actually get a 'yes' to a question that was designed to elicit a rejection.  Changed his whole outlook on life.

    4 people found this helpful
  3. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    18 December 2021 in reply to white knight

    Hi TonyWK,

    I saw you mentioned this thread on a different post.

    It can be so easy to remember the negatives, the unpleasant encounters, the upsetting, distressing, the knock backs in life that we forget each day is full of all kinds of happenings, opportunities and events.

    We may not have the kind of success the man experienced in your story, but we can add up all the moments that can create hope, joy and pleasantness in our days.

    Today at work I am going to try to focus on each moment of the day and find ways to let go of the rude, demanding and angry interactions with other people. They are just part of my day. They don't have to dominate my mind and be regurgitated when I drive home and sit with me in the evening.

    Thanks for this story.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. white knight
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    white knight avatar
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    18 December 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Thankyou Dools

    Of all my posts "30 minutes can change you life" is the most significant to me because that man did indeed change my life. Perspective of this is important because phantom positivity is a barrier.

    Phantom positivity is to be ultra positive on something that is not possible to improve at. If I have bipolar and be ultra positive with eliminating mood swings then it is unrealistic.

    So certainly focus on day to day challenges. You can find a positive in so many situations.

    People! Like those you work with or customers. We might not like them nor accept their attitude yet they might well be volunteers on Xmas day feeding the homeless or a teacher at a special school or sponsors a child in Africa. We only see one snippet of strangers.

    So do what you can but being positive results in doing more.

    Another thread that can help with annoying customers is

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/wit---the-only-answer-for-torment-

    TonyWK

  5. Mum Chris
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    316 posts
    18 December 2021 in reply to white knight

    Hi white night

    While becoming a millionaire or a motivational speaker is not what I aspire to I get the point about setting up positive goals and sticking to them.
    Self hatred and low self esteem and a running commentary in my head that was planted there by years of abuse. Verbal emotional and physical

    I decided to listen to calming music with positive affirmations. They go for many hours and I put 1earbud in and sleep while it’s running. I have a few different ones that I choose a female voice. Heal the abused child or love yourself etc. while I’m not a strong believer in such things I was in a turmoil and I couldn’t stop the voice telling me I was bad a failure a terrible person who didn’t deserve to live and I was desperate. I found it be accident on YouTube.
    im sleeping better I’m off drugs I was on for autoimmune illness

    Find a positive thing and make it a habit is great advice

    ❤️

    2 people found this helpful
  6. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14306 posts
    18 December 2021 in reply to Mum Chris

    Tony,

    I have heard Bills story before but not not a Mining. company but it had the same punch line.

    I suppose it is a story and doesn’t have to be true if it changes your life.

    Thanks for sharing..

    mum Chris thanks for sharing what worked for you. I find your post inspiring.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9749 posts
    18 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks mum Chris

    Earpiece as we sleep, I've never considered that. Think it has merit.

    Try googling this-

    Maharaji prem tawat the perfect instrument

    Cheers

    TonyWK

  8. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    19 December 2021 in reply to white knight

    Hi All,

    Maybe it is not actual "positivity" that I am seeking to recognise but a sense of thankfulness, gratitude or maybe it is appreciation and acceptance.

    Yes Tony, the people who are very rude, abusive, who yell at me, express their anger at full throttle and release their frustration on me may well be lovely people when they have not been kept waiting 5 minutes outside of my work place while I attend to the needs of other people. Some of those had already yelled abuse at me due to Government Covid rules.

    One ladies verbal attack was so viscous I burst into tears.

    I need to acknowledge how these interactions make me feel. Find ways to deal with these occasions and move on. Like the block knocking on doors and receiving no sales, I need to persevere, keep working and fend off the blows I receive.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9749 posts
    19 December 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools,

    It's a bit like sunshades. A sunshade outside a windows is far more effective than a blind inside the window. Stop the heat before it hits the window.

    Like dealing with abusive public persons. You are not there in your role to take one second of abuse. So upon realising they are raising their voice or arguing... walk away. If they ask you, tell them "I don't converse with raised voices "

    Management should support you

    TonyWK

  10. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    20 December 2021 in reply to white knight

    Hi TonyWK,

    The response from my supervisor is that I am stronger than that and to deal with it.

    When staff have yelled at me I am told that is what they do.

    I tried talking to the GM he said he would make an appointment...that was 3 months ago, repeated asking has not secured an appointment. Emails have not been responded to or acknowledged.

    I work alone on weekends in my area, there is no back up, no help.

    I am working Christmas Day.

    Hopefully I will find my voice and have the courage to ask people to please be respectful and courteous!

  11. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9749 posts
    20 December 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools,

    I see. Seems a poor workplace.

    Let me mention my narcissistic first wife. She had this amazing ability of mentally blocking out people. As a young teen she had a mother that physically was nasty, elbowing her without warning for example. She my ex developed a remedy thinking "you can do anything verbally or physically but you'll never get past my skull into my brain".

    Hence if she was in your job she could cope easily by merely standing there, any abuse would be like they are yelling at a brick wall.

    I accept of course you nor I have that ability but it could be an example of how

    • we can acknowledge we are not in an ideal workplace for us
    • That we need new skills to survive in our job
    • That we should pursue management as to why they ignore us even if it's a personal reason about us
    • We can resort to looking for a more ideal job. I've often said, customer service isn't ideal for those with MI

    And so on.

    TonyWK

  12. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    20 December 2021 in reply to white knight

    Thanks Tony,

    All valid points. I'm going to write up some positive affirmations to take to work to remind myself I am okay and I don't have to take on board the frustrations and anger of others.

    I have started reading a self help book that is reminding me about unhelpful ways of thinking and cognitive distortions. It is explaining how I perceive the world is my belief but are my thoughts the true reality of a situation.

    A timely reminder to consider if I can look at issues in a different manner!

    Thanks for helping out TonyWK Cheers to you

    1 person found this helpful

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