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Forums / Staying well / 30 seconds of survival during tough times: what is yours today?

Topic: 30 seconds of survival during tough times: what is yours today?

  1. Peppermintbach
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    26 November 2019

    Hi everyone,

    I have a little survival idea that want to run by you all:

    I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

    If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?

    You can write as often as you like or as infrequently as you like. It also doesn’t have to be 30 seconds either. That’s just a number that I chose, because I thought it would be doable for most people. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival.

    I would love to hear from you :)

    I’ll start:

    On my way to work, I spotted some Christmas decorations, and instantly thought “oh, that’s so pretty!”

    30 seconds of relief from my troubles. 30 seconds of survival.

    Background/inspiration for this thread:

    I was inspired by a book that I’ve been reading. It’s based on real life events where a woman lost her husband unexpectedly, and was left both a widow & single parent overnight.

    As you can imagine, she struggled with immense grief and loss, and was unsure when she would be able to see beyond it...reminders of him were everywhere, and she wasn’t sure when the pain would ever subside.

    But during a work meeting, while giving a presentation (or maybe she was chairing a meeting?), in that brief period, she forgot about her loss as she was immersed in her work. Sure, of course, her grief returned (as it often does). But in that brief moment, she felt a sense of “normalcy”, if there ever was such a thing.

    Okay, so maybe work won’t be your “thing” and maybe it’s not grief that you’re struggling with. Maybe it’s something else (that’s okay and valid).

    What I’m getting at is recognising our capacity to survive by recalling brief moments of survival. It all adds up...

    Moments when either your pain, heartbreak, loss, disappointment (whatever you’re going through) was temporarily forgotten or even subsided a little. Moments, however fleeting but nonetheless important, of survival :)


    9 people found this helpful
  2. Aaronsis
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    26 November 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Oh Pepper..I love this thread...YESSSS

    While I cannot contribute as I am not suffering personally with mental health...only with grief...however, I think that this is such a great thread...what do people do and what is their happy place when times are so very tough.

    It covers all sorts of Mental Health issues all rolled up into one..what do you do/say/feel to get a "break"...great conversation and I can't wait to read what others say too.

    Hugs to you Pepper

    Sarah

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Soberlicious96
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    26 November 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    When I was 12 years old (1983) I was in the Ash Wednesday bushfires; in that we were unable to evacuate to a safe spot in time and became trapped in a burning building and lost everything. It was truly the most horrendous night of my life.

    But my 30 seconds of relief was when I was staying at my Nan's house in the days that followed (while Mum and Dad were getting caravans set up for us to live in), and when I woke up in the morning, I could hear the beautiful warble of the magpies and other birds singing in her garden. It was just so beautiful and calming and has never failed to give me relief. Even today, even if there are no magpies around, I just have to 'imagine' that sound and I feel instant relief.

    And in the last week or so, with all this wind around and all those fires in NSW, I am doing a fair bit of imagining that sound.

    Anyway, great thread, thanks! xo

    6 people found this helpful
  4. Guest_2496
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    26 November 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Such a great idea, thank you!

    Today I’ve had two so far. Reading with my grandson before his nap; and then stacking the dishwasher at their house - realised when I’d finished I’d been totally immersed (no pun intended ha ha).

    3 people found this helpful
  5. Wolfy
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    26 November 2019 in reply to Soberlicious96

    Well my 30 seconds was first when I seen my house (comfort zone) then had another one when I got it the shower and literally sat down and let the water run over me it felt so good for a minute :)

    I really like the sound of this thread

    3 people found this helpful
  6. Peppermintbach
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    27 November 2019

    Hi all,

    Thank you so very much for sharing your survival moments. I’ve really gained from reading and I’m touched that you have been so receptive to this thread idea.

    Thank you so very much! I really appreciate your contributions.

    Aaronsis/Sarah: a warm thank you for the generous & supportive feedback. I’m so grateful for your kind words.

    I think grief is very difficult, and as with all struggles, it’s completely valid. I can empathise with your struggles with grief...

    Thank you for the hugs and here’s some hugs for you too :)

    Soberlicious: I can’t even imagine how distressing & traumatic Ash Wednesday must have been for you...it’s clearly something that has been ingrained in your memory now...

    I love how magpies gave you some comfort and relief back then, and even to this day, they still comfort you. I think that’s very special & moments of calm like yours can make all the difference...thank you so much for sharing...

    Annie: 2 x moments of relief/survival. I think that’s fantastic!

    It made me smile to read about your grandson and your puns are always welcome ;) I bet they have some clean dishes now. Thank you so very much for sharing.

    Wolfy: it’s great to hear from you too. I agree that home can be a safe haven/sanctuary.

    Water pressure can be very soothing. I’m so glad you found 2 moments of resilience today. Well done :)

    All readers:

    Please feel free to contribute any time, as often or as infrequently as you like.

    The premise of this thread (as in my opening post):

    I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

    If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?

    You can write as often as you like or as infrequently as you like. It also doesn’t have to be 30 seconds either. That’s just a number that I chose, because I thought it would be doable for most people. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival.

    I would love to hear from anyone who’s happy to share.

    Kindness and care,

    Pepper

    3 people found this helpful
  7. Birdy77
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    27 November 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Absolutely lovely thread 😊

    I found peace this morning tying up my tomato plants to their supports 🌱

    3 people found this helpful
  8. Peppermintbach
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    27 November 2019 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi wonderful people,

    Lovely friend/birdy: Thank you very much for sharing. That made me smile. I hope you get some lovely ripe tomatoes soon.

    What a beautiful moment of peace, immersion in nature and self nurturance xoxox

    All readers:

    The premise of this thread (as per my opening post):

    I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

    If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?


    You can write as often as you like or as infrequently as you like. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival. That’s just a number that I chose because I think it’s doable for most people ;)

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Quercus
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    27 November 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hi Pepper and all,

    Not remotely surprised to see you come up with this fabulous idea for a thread. Thank you Pepper for all you give of yourself to these forums.

    My moment of peace was working on my dry stacked rock wall today. Hot sun and physical work keep me busy.

    3 people found this helpful
  10. Paw Prints
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    27 November 2019 in reply to Quercus

    Hi all,

    My 30+ seconds was watching the fairy wrens use my bird bath. Now the weather is warming up they are using it most days. Today it was a pair of wrens....bright blue boy....browny grey girl..... who took it in turns whilst the other kept watch.

    2 people found this helpful
  11. quirkywords
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    28 November 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Pepper,

    Thnaks for this great thread and I like Nat appreciate all the time and effort you put onnthe forum.

    30 secs I watch the sheer joy in my grand daughters face as she laughs and chats.

    As she lives a fair distance away , I have a lovely short video maybe less than 30 secs of her chatting away . I play this a lot when I need cheering up .

    Quirky

    3 people found this helpful
  12. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    28 November 2019

    More than 30 seconds, but a reprieve from the weeks I've spent grieving and lonely -

    Yoga. Had to drag myself there and then wished I hadn't, but after a while on the mat I found that my mind was finally quiet for a bit.

    Stand up paddleboarding. Putting all my energy into paddling my board, surrounded by water, allowed me some peace of mind for a bit.

    Great thread. Thanks

    4 people found this helpful
  13. quirkywords
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    29 November 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Pepper,

    have been feeling a bit down this week and today had a day out with my friend who I don't get to spend much time with.

    My 30 seconds was when we were being silly and I laughed and I don't laugh that much so catching myself and enjoying the experience was so precious.

    Quirky

    2 people found this helpful
  14. Peppermintbach
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    30 November 2019

    Hello,

    I’m very thankful for your contributions here :)

    All readers:

    The premise of this thread:

    I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

    If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?


    You can write as often or as infrequently as you like. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival. That’s just a number that I chose because I think it’s doable for most people ;)

    Quercus: Thank you very much for your kind words. I think that’s lovely of you to say. Thank you for all you do for the forums. Sincerely appreciated :)

    Your dry stacked wall sounds as though it’s coming along nicely. I know some people find physically challenging work to be an excellent way to de stress. Good work!

    Paw Prints: I adore fairy wrens! I have a soft spot for blue fairy wrens. Gorgeous...

    I love how the pair looked out for each other by taking turns in the bird baths, so the other could keep an eye out for predators. Thank you so much for sharing :)

    Quirky: Thank you also for your very supportive words. I’m grateful that you’re so open to this thread.

    Thank you to you for always making everyone feel included, including me. I love how genuinely open minded you are, as I really do value your capacity to see things from multiple perspectives.

    I think your granddaughter’s video must hold such a special place in your heart. I can imagine the love, connection & joy that it brings you.

    I felt sad to hear that you’ve been having a rough time. If it helps you to feel a tiny bit less alone, so have I...if you like hugs, here is one from me...

    But I’m glad you found some relief & laughter with your friend. I think moments of connection can be uplifting. Connection can help heal...

    kayonthehamsterwheel: I feel for your grief & feelings of loneliness. Both can be very painful...

    I’m so glad yoga helped, & I admire how you pushed yourself to go. I think sometimes it helps to push ourselves to do things that we know will help. Well done :)

    I smiled to read about your paddle boarding. I have never been but it must be one incredible experience!

    Me: I decided to wrap a huge blanket, technically a throw, around myself like a cocoon at 1 point. I found that oddly comforting..

    I had read about using blankets/ weighted blankets as a self soothing strategy, & suddenly remembered it when I was struggling

    2 people found this helpful
  15. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1 December 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Today it's coffee. That first sip is always a treat. I've woken up in a bad headspace today and I think I'll take your cocoon idea and curl up and ignore the world
    3 people found this helpful
  16. Peppermintbach
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    4 December 2019 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello,

    Katyonthehamsterwheel: I feel sad to hear how much you have been struggling. It sounds as though you’ve been going through a hard time...

    I hope the cocoon helped a little. Apparently, the cocoon is even better if you have a weighted blanket, or so I heard :)

    I love coffee! It’s one of my morning highlights, so I can relate to your relief and joy from the first sip...beautiful...

    Thinking of you...

    Me: when my pen makes contact with paper, I can create a whole new world or tell a previously untold story. The world feels temporarily better, and I feel a little safer and more understood...

    It’s incredible what we can do with a single pen and sketchbook :)

    All readers:
    The premise of this thread:

    I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

    If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?


    You can write as often or as infrequently as you like. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival: relief, reprieve or respite. That’s just a number that I chose because I think it’s doable for most people ;)

  17. quirkywords
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    13 December 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Today I had chat with people from UK driving around Australia. For 30 seconds or more I listened to them and really concentrated. I felt refreshed after listening.

    Quirky

    2 people found this helpful
  18. Peppermintbach
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    16 December 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky (& a wave to all),

    Good for you, I’m glad that you had that moment of relief. Precious moments...

    Also, I hope those people are enjoying their exploration of Australia :)

    Kind thoughts to you,

    Pepper

  19. hope4joy
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    18 December 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Hi Quirky and every one else on this thread, what a nice way to frame one's day in looking for the bursts of joy/ immersion. I'm fighting off a cold at the moment and am also waiting to hear back on an offer I've made to buy my first home, so was proud to just get through the day at work today. But I had two little bright moments that made me come back to the present. Firstly some acquaintances posted their family photo with santa and the 4 of them were in full goth attire with incredible face paint and looking mighty scary, especially their young child, and it cracked me up and had me chuckling for at least the next hour on and off! I also shared it with a few colleagues. Then at lunch time I was going for a walk and some guys were in harnesses ready to climb bunya pine trees to harvest the cones - as they get massive and could injure someone - and that also tickled my fancy that they get to do that as a job, harvesting pine cones on cherry pickers and by climbing - what a wonderful office! So I very much relate to those little shiny moments amongst what can be a difficult day.
    3 people found this helpful
  20. Paw Prints
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    15 January 2020 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hello Peppy & everyone,

    My 30 sec today was watching my Woofa sulk like a petulant teenager after I told him off for bravely barking at the scary pillow on my bed.

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Willow13
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    15 January 2020 in reply to Peppermintbach
    My walk today being totally present in the moment. Looking at the trees and the birds and appreciating the natural beauty and peace.
    1 person found this helpful
  22. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    15 January 2020
    Similarly to Willow13 - nature :) I went to yoga in the park. I love yoga, but it's even better in nature. Watching the birds, the wind in the trees, people walking their dogs, and at one point a couple of young lads passing by decided to join in the class and made me giggle.
    1 person found this helpful
  23. Gambit87
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    15 January 2020

    i'm struggling with work at present and I believe its affecting my mental health. I'm 4 months away from 10 years so im trying to hang in there so I get long service leave.

    To try and break my day up - I go for a walk around the block every 2 hours and for those few minutes (longer then 30 seconds im sorry haha) my mind is free, i feel im in the present.

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Peppermintbach
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    16 January 2020

    Hi to all,

    Thank you so much for sharing your moments of respite here. It has been encouraging & hopeful to read :)

    Hope4joy: I love the sound of that family photo. I really liked how they put their family signature on it with their attire. I’m so happy that you had a good laugh. A joyous moment.

    The outdoor office that you described sounds wonderful! I hope they harvested lots of cones from the bunya pine trees.

    PawPrints: your Woofa is absolutely precious. He was very courageous, even if a bit noisy, to confront your scary pillow ;)

    I sometimes think dogs are earth angels. I’m not a very spiritual person, but I think seeing non-human animals like dogs is about as close as I get to having spiritual moments...

    Willow: I love how immersed you were in your walk. Truly being in the here and now....

    Yes, nature has a lot to offer. Beauty, peace and healing...

    Katyonthehamsterwheel: I really like the sound of yoga in the park. The best of both worlds...

    It must have been such a special moment of connection to have been doing yoga with birds, dogs, trees, etc in the background. Ah, bliss...

    Gambit: not long till your long service leave. Congratulations for being in your job for almost 10 years. I think that’s an enormous achievement :)

    Longer than 30 seconds is more than okay. Those walks sound as though they really help centre you. I think it’s so good that you go for walks every 2 hours- healthy for body, mind and the human spirit.

    Many thanks again for sharing :)

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Lady Nova
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    16 January 2020 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Two buckets of coffee and the forums.

    Usually Thursdays are my partner's volunteer days so I get a day off, but now the botanic gardens have been mostly destroyed by fire my respite will be what ever I can grab
    3 people found this helpful
  26. Birdy77
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    16 January 2020 in reply to Lady Nova
    Watching a group of bees working hard on the head of a huge sunflower 🌻

    xo
    2 people found this helpful
  27. Peppermintbach
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    16 January 2020

    Hi all,

    As always, thank you very much for opening up with your personal moments of relief and respite.

    It means a lot to have those small moments, amidst chaos, pain and struggle.

    Lady Nova: I’m relieved that you’re finding some comfort in the forums, and yes, coffee is truly wonderful. I also love coffee, so I can relate ;)

    I feel saddened about the botanic gardens that you mentioned. You sound rundown and like you need a break...

    It’s only a small gesture, I know, but I’m thinking of you...

    Beautiful birdy/b: lovely friend, what a special moment. I hope it nurtured your tired spirit a little...

    Yes, bees are truly magical creatures. They are tiny, but so important. Where there are bees, there is life...

    I smiled at your mention of the sunflower. Your signature. They always make me think of you. I’ve always wondered if it’s your favourite flower. My favourite flower would probably be dahlias, especially black satin (part of the dahlia family)...

    Thinking of you too xoxox

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Lady Nova
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    16 January 2020 in reply to Peppermintbach

    I am a carer for three people. My youngest is still in high school so I have his 9-3 respite. My eldest volunteers at an art therapy and runs a therapeutic DnD game every week. I am mum taxi for him then. My partner hardly goes out, but he has his once a week volunteer job at the gardens ... That WAS the day I had my psychology and a meet up for coffee or time out for photography, or lunch with the girls, or put my feet up.

    Being worn down is a carer's lot and when a carer is also a mental health consumer, big time, it can get a bit ... rock in the corner "la la la la!" if you know what I mean?

    Being regional there are almost no services for mental health or carers. I have campaigned, complained, sat down with deputy mental health commissioners, but services are getting thinner and leaner even as the budget get promoted as getting bigger.

    2 people found this helpful
  29. Peppermintbach
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    17 January 2020 in reply to Lady Nova

    Hi to all the lovely people,

    Lady Nova: I think being a carer for one person, let alone 3 people, can really takes its toll. No matter how much you love them, I feel that everyone still needs a break/time to recharge...something that you’ve clearly missed out on this week.

    Sadly, I have heard about the inadequate health and mental health services in regional areas. That must be hard...I think it’s sad that little has changed, despite your dedicated efforts to campaign and discuss...I admire your spirit though, but it must still feel discouraging.

    All readers:

    If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?

    You can write as often or as infrequently as you like. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival. That’s just a number that I chose because I think it’s doable for most people ;)

    Thank you so much...

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Lady Nova
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    117 posts
    17 January 2020 in reply to Peppermintbach

    what can I say?

    Glutton for punishment? lol

    1 person found this helpful

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