Hi J / insertaname,
Thank you for your post and I'm glad that you decided to share what's going on even though you said you feel lonelier coming here - is that because you feel like people can't connect or don't relate to what you're going through? I can see that you've made other posts but I'm not sure where they are or what else you might have talked about.
I think you've given us a really good question, but I'm not sure that there's any one right answer. For me personally I've dealt with mental health issues for as long as I can remember, so I don't think I ever had this kind of 'normal' standard to come back to. But everyone is different of course.
I think that mental illness, like any illness, is going to knock us around - how we think, feel, behave. Personally, I don't think that we are ever the same when we come back from that. I don't mean that in a bad way - but I do think that people change to try and adapt to what they've experienced.
What do you think resuming a normal life looks like for you? What's that gap between where you are and where you need to be? Maybe if you can look at that in more detail you can see different ways to come back to it.
and finally - while I completely see how disheartened you feel, know that in the long term, you will walk away with a degree in your hand, and that's what's going to matter in the big picture.