Like Tony has mentioned "happiness" can mean so many things to different people.
Also like Tony mentioned, it might be a good idea to have a chat to a professional about how you are feeling. You might be able to find some key to unlocking what ever it is that may be hindering you emotionally.
Happiness. Contentment. A sense of Peace. The ability to take pleasure in something. We all handle these differently.
Next time you have a moment where you feel happiness, try to expand on that feeling and make the most of it. Try to tell yourself there is no reason at all to feel guilty about being happy.
Maybe something in your childhood has programmed you to think this way. Our brains can be reprogrammed, you may just need some help to do it.
The ability to feel happiness, joy, pleasure, freedom, peace and what ever makes a person feel good, these are all emotions and feelings to treasure not to be ashamed or guilty of having.
Maybe you would like to explain more about how you are feeling, and looking back you might be able to discover how these thoughts have grown for you into a sense of false reality.
Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools or Lauren