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Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Staying well / Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

  1. Feeler
    Feeler avatar
    10 posts
    6 April 2020

    I hope everyone on here is doing well

    I was doing all right but coming across two news items on Facebook has just caused me an emotional backslide. I won't say what the pieces of news were because neither changes the current situation of anyone on here but they got me down. I'am just so tired of things getting worse than previously thought. I feel better then I come across this cruel development I did not have to know. Sorry for the lack of actual advice but I'am just tired of feeling like the Virus has no limits.

    How do I accept -whether I'am distracted or not- that COVID-19 isn't going to go away for good right now. I can enjoy things but almost anything about the Pandemic brings me crashing down emotionally.

    How do I come to terms with it? Accepting powerlessness doesn't work for me when it comes to such an uncertain thing. I can recognise the causes for hope but I'am too worried about them being premature.

    How do I deal with my inability to wave a magic wand?

  2. Elizabeth CP
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    Elizabeth CP avatar
    2486 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to randomx

    I agree with you Randomx. The restrictions are horrible & the effects will be terrible but looking at what is happening elsewhere (I have children living in the UK & a sister in the US) I am EXTREMELY grateful that our government listened to medical experts and put in restrictions early. Hopefully we can keep our country cut off from the rest of the world until a vaccine is invented and will be able to lift the restrictions within our country.

    I keep reminding myself that these restrictions are saving us from a much longer more difficult situation.

    I came out of isolation a week ago and found it strange with everyone stepping away from each other as if we were infected. This felt very unfriendly & goes against our normal social norms. Today I decided to change my approach. We can be friendly and polite to each other with a few minor adaptations. Imagine our bodies include an invisible ball around us. We walk so we avoid bumping each others ball just as we would normally avoid bumping others. We can still smile and give a friendly greeting 'Hello' or similar. This helps me feel part of a friendly caring community rather than feeling rejected. If you inadvertently bump into someones 'ball' eg walking around the corner in the shopping centre a simple sorry and/or thank you as you each move to make room for each other.

    By making a special effort to treat each other with friendliness, respect & courtesy while maintaining physical distancing we will help each of us feel less isolated & connected to the community trying to fight this pandemic.

    7 people found this helpful
  3. PamelaR
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    2740 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to Feeler

    Hi Feeler (and everyone else)

    Thank you for your post. I must say just before I read your post, I too read what is happening and it left me feeling vulnerable. So I understand how you are feeling.

    What can we do now to manage the thoughts that are rushing through our heads, the things we cannot control. I really don't know how to remain positive, but as I sit here writing this post my mind turns to what I need to do next.

    Acknowledge what is happening is real, is going to increase in severity (as they tell us the crisis point is not yet reached here in Australia)

    Accept it is happening and accept the things we can do to individually remain safe. I.e. - do as the authorities are telling us, don't go out unless you have too for essential items. If you are in the at risk category - seek assistance to have your groceries, pharmaceuticals and other essentials delivered. Each state has a help page on their government site to give you an idea about who to call or to send a message online.

    Let go of that which you have no control. For me this is allowing myself to cry and to grieve for - the loss of life; those brave people putting their own lives at risk each day; those who have lost loved ones. This process takes some time and doesn't hit me all at once. But when it does I let it be, acknowledge and accept it for what it is. Grief.

    Reduce the fear. That's a hard one for me - I'm in the at risk group (over 65, asthmatic, overweight) however to date I still venture out to do weekly shopping. I need to otherwise I'll go nuts. I take precautions. Made my own hand sanitiser that I obsessively use when I'm out. To help me reduce that fear I've returned to the forums to help others. It diverts my thinking about the what ifs for myself, helps me to become a little more positive.

    Sorry if I'm repeating what others have said before, but I needed to vent after reading this morning's article. (Ugh - I usually avoid doing that, but I thought, just a quick peek at the headlines. Then the one you are probably referring to caught my eye so had to read it.....blah.)

    Kind regards

    PamelaR

    3 people found this helpful
  4. PamelaR
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    2740 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth CP

    Thank you so much for your wonderful input. You are so right about being friendly, courteous and respectful to others when you are out. It saddens me when the person at the checkout tells me about how awful people are. My neighbour works at one of the major grocery stores and she says it's terrible, it's bringing out the worst in people. Having said that, from my visits to the stores I have not seen any bad behaviours. People I smile to, smile back and we both turn our heads to the side in a knowing, understanding acknowledgement. So I have faith in people.

    It's extra specially nice when you have posted your wonderful ideas for helping yourself and others to not feel rejected in our current situation. Thanks again Elizabeth!!

    Kind regards

    PamelaR

    1 person found this helpful
  5. meforcats
    meforcats  avatar
    116 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hanna3 Sam would probably like to have a playmate. What sort of dog is he?

    Yesterday I saw a movie on my Tablet about Van Gogh. It was animated and I really enjoyed it.

    Today I picked up a script from the Drs receptionist. I said it was nice to say hello to someone face to face.

  6. CX
    CX avatar
    2 posts
    6 April 2020
    Hi, I'm a mum trying to work from home while looking after my three children aged 5, 7 and 9. I am finding the longer this goes on, the harder it is to cope. I try and start each day with a routine and also make a bit of time for everyone to exercise, but I'm finding that after a while everything just disintegrates. It is impossible to work and manage them at the same time - they end up fighting with each other and I have to try and separate them which is difficult when we are forced to stay at home. My partner is out at work (self employed) and is very little help even though I have asked him and told him how hard it is. My work has been understanding to a point but I don't think they genuinely get how difficult it is. I feel like I am heading for a breakdown. Any advice appreciated.
    1 person found this helpful
  7. PamelaR
    Champion Alumni
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    2740 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to CX

    Hi MeforCats and Hanna3 - thank you guys for making this a good space for people to come by sharing your thoughts, activities and ideas. Well done!! By the way - I have 2 cats that keep me extremely busy, especially now we home all the time. They really turn up the meows to get outside.... (They are indoor cats).

    Hi CX and warm welcome to our forums. So great you've found your way here. I do feel for you - working from home, 3 children under 10 - wow. You are awesome to be carrying all that. Maybe it's time to take a breather for yourself. Sit and relax after the children have gone to bed - take time out for yourself. (You can see I've never had kids). I would imagine they are picking up on everything that's happening, so they must also be stressed - hence the disintegration.

    I noted last night there is an online thing about finding teddy bears online. Is this something you could get them interested in? Or would there be fights over who gets the computer/iphone/ipad etc? Don't know where you live, but is it feasible to get them doing things outdoors? There is this thing about drawing rainbows on driveways etc. Is this something you can get them interested in?

    About work - is it feasible to allocate quality time to spend with the kids, then time for your work after they've gone to bed and you've had a rest? Bugger the house work for the moment.

    I'd get online to see what other parents are doing to manage their children and their work during these hard times. People are being very innovative out there.

    In the meantime, I understand how you feel like your heading for a breakdown. You have to also deal with your own feelings, thoughts and emotions. That's tough, especially when you try to stay positive for your kids. Are you able to stay in contact with friends or family through social media or the phone? More to the point are they a help or a hindrance?

    Try to get some quality sleep if you can, but I expect this is difficult for you at present. There is a thread here about sleep. You do a search using the search tool above.

    Hope some of this helps CX.

    Kind regards

    PamelaR

    1 person found this helpful
  8. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14353 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to CX

    Hello everyone,

    CX I too want to welcome you to the forum.

    It is hard enough organising 3 children at home nevertheless to do your own work as well.

    Can you get help from their school to organise lessons and a routine. ?

    I know a friend in a similar position who dresses her children in school uniform and makes sure they are sitting at a table. They follow lessons then have recess and lunch breaks like at school.

    Do they have a tablet or ipad they can share. ABC is doing websites full of ideas for lessons etc.

    Pamela has suggested many helpful suggestions.

    Looking after yourself is important. Is there something that your children like doing even now that can be used as a reward if they can stay on their work and not fight?

    You may want to start your own thread so people in your situation can help and exchange ides of what works.

    Bluesmoke, thanks for your list of things that work for you.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. meforcats
    meforcats  avatar
    116 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to CX

    CX welcome.

    Today I saw on tv a woman called Supernanny who helps with parenting. It's jofrost.com. I hope she can help you.

    All the very best to you.

    1 person found this helpful
  10. meforcats
    meforcats  avatar
    116 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to PamelaR
    PamelaR I've only had one cat at a time. My place is small. One day I'd love a Ragdoll that flops when you pick it up. 😺
  11. Feeler
    Feeler avatar
    10 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to PamelaR

    Hi PamelaR

    Thank you for your advice.

    I'am really struggling to accept the Pandemic because it feels so pointless. We're probably learning things from our efforts to stop it but that's at a very high cost. I've been dragged down by the feeling that almost everything that can go wrong has or will. That's evidently not true but I'am waiting for the negative developments to stop. I guess that recognising what sadness is ahead -as you have recommended- will help me.

    Kind regards

  12. Feeler
    Feeler avatar
    10 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth CP

    I hope your overseas Relatives stay well.

    You're right about compassion still being possible.

  13. quince
    quince avatar
    104 posts
    6 April 2020

    @CX - Hey! I really feel for you. I don't have kids, but I can only imagine how hard that must be at this time. I have a lot of admiration for you, and know you're not alone. Thinking of you.

    @Feeler - It's really hard not to get dragged down by all the bad news, hey. I've been trying to acknowledge the great things coming from the pandemic too though - I feel like in a lot of ways there is a great sense of community happening, like people helping each other out, sharing resources, or putting teddy bears out for local children to spot on their walks. It's a really devastating situation, but hopefully some of these nice things stay around for good too.

    Mates, I'm having a tricky few days. Starting to feel really cooped up, and have had a bit of a step-up with getting help for the mental health stuff going on. It's ultimately good, but just very tricky timing with that happening while also being stuck home with my parents who know nothing about what's going on for me. Ugggghhhh. I really feel like sinking into the floor and reappearing when everything is fixed.

    Thanks for listening to my venting.

    5 people found this helpful
  14. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14353 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to quince

    quince,

    Thanks for your post. I am glad you have started to get help for your mental health.

    know it is tricky and hard at the moment and you feel like just tell me when its over.

    Hopefully for you and others there will be a silver lining. Feel free too post here when you want.

  15. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
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    Paw Prints avatar
    1818 posts
    6 April 2020

    Hi All,

    Just to let everyone know Woolies has changed its early opening for pensioners:

    From Monday, 30 March 2020 until Sunday 12 April 2020, Community Hour will continue from 7am-8am for the following groups:

    • Seniors and People with a Disability - Monday, Wednesday & Friday
    • *NEW* Emergency Services & Healthcare Workers - Tuesday & Thursday

    Paws

    2 people found this helpful
  16. Peppermintcandyprincess9
    Peppermintcandyprincess9 avatar
    1 posts
    7 April 2020
    Hi all I am brand new on here. You can call me Em. I thought I’d join the forum on here because I just need a listening ear- just a friend to talk to. Covid-19 has affected me greatly. I got stood down recently at my workplace and the store is closed for a month (I work in retail) and it will only reopen perhaps mid May. But because I am a casual I do not get any paid benefits and I am really struggling for money just to feed myself. I have applied for Centrelink but due to the high number of claims it is taking forever to get the money. In the meantime I have been posting my worries and thoughts on my FB page and it seems like none of my friends on there really care about me. I know that they have read my posts/stories (bc I can see the viewers) but none of them respond to me or my posts or message me. Just nothing. I don’t mean to sound needy or attention-seeking but it really makes me feel sad cos that means all the friends I have on fb are fake. And I always have to start the conversation they never start contacting me first. I feel so sad to see that some people seem like they are there for you only when times are good but once you feel sad or things go wrong they just disappear. I see them on messenger all the time and yet they never reach out to me. What can I do? I know I can’t make people care but at the same time I feel so down and lost and depressed. Thanks for reading.
    4 people found this helpful
  17. Feeler
    Feeler avatar
    10 posts
    7 April 2020 in reply to quince

    Hi quince

    I'am hoping the nice things will stay around

    1 person found this helpful
  18. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14353 posts
    7 April 2020 in reply to Peppermintcandyprincess9

    Em

    Welcome to the forum and thanks for making your first post.

    I am sorry you are have lost your job and finding it hard to het help.

    FB can be a strange place and I know sometimes people say I have not commented or liked a post when I have read it. Your friends care as they have seen your post but they have troubles too or not feelike commenting. I can see how this lack of comments makes you feel alone .

    Sometimes people feel they don't know what to say. Maybe they have a job and so feel bad for you.

    On this forum there is support and you can post as much as you like. Also if you want to start your own thread you can do that.

    Do you know someone who may have lost their job too and maybe you could reach out to them and support each other.?

    Welcome again.

    Quirky

  19. Feeler
    Feeler avatar
    10 posts
    7 April 2020 in reply to Peppermintcandyprincess9

    Hi Em

    I'am sorry about your job. Centrelink are slow even in the best of times but going to them for support is a start.

    It's unfortunate that your Facebook friends aren't conversing with you, but you're likely to get responded to here.

    All the best

    1 person found this helpful
  20. CX
    CX avatar
    2 posts
    7 April 2020
    Thanks everyone for your support and suggestions - it is good to be able to talk to people and get some perspective! If I could just get some time-out occasionally I think it would help my mindset a lot. It is so hard to be responsible for everything and everyone 24/7. I will look into some of your ideas and hopefully it will help. Thanks again.
    1 person found this helpful
  21. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
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    Sophie_M avatar
    6630 posts
    7 April 2020 in reply to Summer Rose
    Sorry we were too late getting back to you Summer Rose. The survey is indeed now closed but we're confident we got enough responses to give a good representation of the general concerns of the Australian community at large.
    1 person found this helpful
  22. Elizza
    Elizza avatar
    2 posts
    7 April 2020 in reply to Iann
    hi yes I live alone as well and find it challenging, I am missing all the social things I do like belonging to a fantastic Choir, I also was doing dancing, but now all that has changed, my place has never been cleaner, I started painting inside and cleaning everything, I also play music it lifts the spirit and you forget for a while of what is happening looking forward to when things get better and everyone is ok, I brought a skipping rope and skip inside or out and try and up my jumps, do some hand weights at home as well and eat lots of vegs and fruit, take care all.
    1 person found this helpful
  23. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    14353 posts
    7 April 2020 in reply to Elizza

    Eliza

    Welcome to the forum and well done for writing your first post.

    I like the way you have used the opportunity to clean, paint, get fit, and eat healthy.

    have good intentions and time but I get distracted and like motivation. I am good at making long lists at things I want to achieve and so far all I have achieved is writing lots of lists!!

    Welcome again and post here as much as you like. You are not alone and there is support here .

  24. Speak Your Truth
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    Speak Your Truth avatar
    964 posts
    7 April 2020 in reply to Peppermintcandyprincess9

    Hello Em. I’ve restarted on the forums because of Covid after a long break so I’m not exactly new, just haven’t been around until very recently, but I feel nearly as new as you. Covid has affected us all in so many ways hasn’t it. I’m having a struggle accepting our new lifestyle, but I am doing the right thing - staying home unless I need to buy food, get medical help etc. I had my first Telehealth call recently. That’s going to be the way for quite a while sadly.

    I understand how you feel about Facebook friends not contacting you Em. I have the same situation. I had health issues to cope with earlier this year and heard from hardly anyone - friends near or far. I haven’t heard from my only relative - apart from maybe 2 or 3 texts - since well before Christmas, although my situation was known to them. So it is sad. Somebody I did talk with recently justified it (justified ?) by saying “oh well, everyone seems to be in their own little bubble, they probably don’t mean to ignore you” even though they were one of the people who did ignore me.

    I don’t like to sound to sound needy or attention-seeking either, but like you I am a human being with a heart and feelings and need that contact. Right now I’d give anything for a hug or a kind word from a friend, even if it is only a virtual hug. A real one is something to dream about. I don’t know what could work for you, but people have tried to console me by saying some people don’t know what to say, for me I have to remind myself that friends basically mean well, life is very busy, maybe they are feeling down too and don’t want to drop it on you. I have had times in my life too when I’ve felt so down and lost and depressed as you are now, but I’ve pulled myself out of it. I’m struggling not to head back into it now though, so I have to be strong too. It’s all a bit of a mystery. But we have to be strong Em - keep telling yourself you are worthy, that you deserve lots of good things in your life.

    Take care, be safe and think positive Em. Cala 🤗😘

    2 people found this helpful
  25. meforcats
    meforcats  avatar
    116 posts
    8 April 2020 in reply to Elizza

    Elizza I miss all my activities too. I started dancing this year and it was great. The gym is another one I miss so I'm doing 2 lots of exercises for seniors on my Tablet each day. Im getting a cleaner tomorrow coz I felt overwhelmed with housework. So that's exciting. I didn't think they would still be working. I've got a list of things to do.

    Good luck.

  26. melissa_bee
    melissa_bee avatar
    1 posts
    8 April 2020 in reply to Sophie_M

    This post has been a godsend...Suffering from generalised anxiety from the age of 15 to being diagnosed with depression last July, now more than ever I understand how vital, crucial and important it is to maintain a healthy, well-balanced home lifestyle - fellow introverts, you are in your element.

    Last year was one of the toughest for me mentally, physically and emotionally. Being a a job where I was constantly not believing I was good enough, to suffering so many health symptoms that just turned out to be anxiety was a sign I needed to make myself a priority. I lived too much by pleasing everyone and it didn't necessarily work out in the way I wanted it to. But whenever something you want so badly doesn't work out, something much better always comes along. What you think you want isn't necessarily what is best for you.

    But now, since the COVID-19 outbreak, seeing the goodwill in the most egenrous of hearts all around the word and even Australia, I know that we will beat this. WE WILL. I have no doubt in my mind.

    In order for us to fight this with the biggest of fists, we need to do what we are told. STAY HOME! STAY SAFE! WASH/SANITISE YOUR HANDS! Share the love you have for your friends and family to strangers. We are all in this together. Never underestimate the magic of the human race.

    Now, like many other people, a nuclear level hand-washing session is waiting for me <3

    Stay safe guys, sending my love to all.


    7 people found this helpful
  27. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3588 posts
    8 April 2020 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Cala, I just happened to see your post from yesterday and I know it's a bit late but sending you virtual understand hugs from me, and soft furry ones from little Sam... I've had friends who just don't give support when they're needed too... so there are hugs from me and Sam... hugs ooo hugs ooo hugs ooo

    Take care girl! xx

  28. bensinstalife
    bensinstalife avatar
    1 posts
    9 April 2020
    What a fantastic thing to do so quickly. I have already shared the link with my team and employer, we are all in this together. Thank you Beyond Blue.
    1 person found this helpful
  29. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6630 posts
    9 April 2020 in reply to bensinstalife
    Hi Everyone, 

    It is very encouraging to see so many of you continue to use this space to share how you are coping and the support and advice being provided throughout the community. We hope that you continue to use this space as we work together to navigate these times. 

    Today, Beyond Blue has launched a dedicated Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service to support Australia's mental health throughout COVID-19. 

    The Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Service is available 24/7 at coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au. There is a dedicated phone line, staffed by mental health professionals briefed on the pandemic response, that is also is now open on 1800 512 348.

    Beyond Blue’s existing support service will continue to operate alongside the new service. The Beyond Blue Support Service is available via phone 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via beyondblue.org.au/get-support for online chat (3PM – 12AM AEST or email responses within 24 hours).
    4 people found this helpful
  30. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14353 posts
    9 April 2020 in reply to melissa_bee

    Welcome Melissa to the forums and this thread.

    Thanks for writing such a detailed and helpful post.

    I am glad you have seen hope at this difficult time.

    Your words will help others.

    Feel free to keep reading and posting here.

    1 person found this helpful

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