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Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Staying well / Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

  1. SapereAude
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    18 May 2021 in reply to golden82
    Sorry to hear that you don’t have any family member or friends. I hope that you are able to find the help that best suits you.
    2 people found this helpful
  2. Moonstruck
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    3647 posts
    18 May 2021 in reply to golden82

    Dear Golden

    I understand what you mean about supportive family and friends.....my situation is, that yes of course my close friends I feel the most comfortable with are supportive people...and yet I have not asked any of them for help or contacted them when in despair. The closest I came was last night. I waited until a kind lady I know had finished work for the day, she is extremely busy and professional, yet kind and supportive...the perfect person you might say.

    I had planned to text saying "are you free, is this a good time to ring?" that evening...but I just could not make myself. She is not a trained professional and may be upset herself at hearing what I desperately wanted someone to hear...I could not lay this on her, she doesn't deserve it.....I can think of a few other close friends who I believe genuinely like me, care about me, perhaps even "love" me [I mean as a friend) but just could not let them see/hear me like this.

    I am very close to my adult sons. One has marriage problems and very busy at work...he is feeling unhappy and lonely and I have been worried sick about him for months...I have been supporting him....i can't give him this to carry as well. I cant have him worried about his mother.

    my other son is the most resilient person I know..a real glass half full person. He tends to lecture me a bit in a loving way.. I can tell he gets a bit impatient that I am so negative...I love him dearly but he loves me so much he can't be any real "help"....that sounds stupid but think about it.....he loves me so much, they can't be of help to me...and that's true. they are "too involved". that could be why people don't turn to 'family" even if they have a few.

    its so hard to reveal your darkest thoughts and desperate situation to anyone except a trained professional who is not a personal friend or acquaintance...and yet these people I love are the ones I so badly want to tell.....

  3. Sleepy21
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    18 May 2021

    hi there

    i was told at lifeline that they ask those questions because some ppl do have the friends, but haven't thought in the moment to contact them. ie they feel so sad that maybe temporarily they lose thought of the supports they do have, and i guess it's a reminder.

    So I guess I understand the question, but I still feel sad when i hear it.

    It's also the myth ppl have in society that eg - families support each other, parents want the best for their kids, and u'll always have ur mum... all those platitudes.

    for some ppl friends are their family - or their work mates, or their pet. Some ppl don't have any (i personally don't).... there are many configurations of love and fmaily. I struggle and am very alone. I've tried. I think sometimes we need to talk sensitively about the issues of isolation. Sometimes we have tried to pick up the phone and seek family support, but it just isn'tthere for us. Sometimes families aren't safe.
    Sometimes friends can't listen. Sometimes lifeline is all we have.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. golden82
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    18 May 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Written beautifully Sleepy. I am so on the same page as you re this. All society norms and it actually makes things worse. It seems very taboo still that a parent is not there for their child and so much more/ worse. It seems so much judgement and stereotypes etc. Like the mothers day and christmas catalogues, tv ads. Not all of us had this.

    The judgement and victim blaming i have had occasionally even on the lifelines by the person saying what have you done to cause this; and assuming parents are loving and i the child is to blame for the fractures. Also those that tell you to try again.. all this is harmful.

    Another pet peeve i have noticed is so so many ppl say that is how u 'feel'. Omg. No it is not a feel. It is a fact. It is the reality. It is just so bs when psych lifeline ppl in general say this. I find it super condescending and i dunno but i would never speak that way to another. I would listen and validate them. Not gaslight with all these as you say platitudes. Thanks for your wise post Sleepy. It helps.

    Hi Moon :) I will pop to your thread.

    Hi SapereAude. Thanks for your msg to me. I know u mean well, and i am sorry if you felt i was taking it out on u. It is not u; it is society in the main. I hope you are okay.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Sleepy21
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    18 May 2021 in reply to golden82

    hey golden

    totally the case and it is victim blaming. we are doing our best, i know it. If you picked up the phone to call, you are trying.

    Sometimes they fixate on very specific parts of what is happenign, and seem dead- set on understaanding what supports you have already.... but the way they ask is a bit prying and judgey.

    Then I just feel much much worse for not having those friends.

  6. randomx
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    2423 posts
    18 May 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    l could discuss one or two things with one or two people , but l'd never lay everything on them , to me that's just not fair on them and too much to ask. Yet as you say there is the thing of that's what friends are for, family are for well yeah ,some. And if your lucky enough to have some friends or family like that it's a beautiful thing but loading them up with everything though is just too much imo.

    Unfortunately l don't have just one thing , or two . People are busy and stressed and going through their own stuff and some of it big too, life is big . l can't expect them to carry around my crap on top of their own too, or to even know how to help or have the extra capacity left to help or be there . l wouldn't have it , l couldn;'t , l have more than enough of my own and my daughters , and gf and l need to preserve what l do have and myself for them .

    So yeah if even if you do have someone , there is a line . Professionals are better and hopefully trained and have the ability of leaving it there as they close that door every night.

    rx

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Summer Rose
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    18 May 2021 in reply to golden82

    Hi golden82

    Thanks so much for your kind words and interest in my loved ones. Everyone in my world is okay at present—knock on wood!!

    I am one of the lucky ones, with family. But I have also felt terribly lonely at times. The bb support line was my go to in my times of need and I always received terrific warm support.

    I know this isn’t everyone’s experience but bb now has a special place in my heart. As does this community.

    Kind thoughts to all

    3 people found this helpful
  8. CalmCat
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    25 May 2021
    How's everyone in Melbourne going?
    1 person found this helpful
  9. randomx
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    2423 posts
    25 May 2021 in reply to CalmCat

    What's going on with Melb does anyone know ?

    Haven't watch the news for awhile but l thought l caught something about new restrictions tonight , and Adelaide too . Meant to watch the late news but missed it.

  10. Cam.e
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    3 posts
    25 May 2021
    How does this even happen?
  11. Mimsy19
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    13 posts
    26 May 2021
    Panicking slightly... I see there have been exposure sites listed in Bendigo. I am training my new assistance dog through an organisation based in Bendigo, I'm in Melbourne. My dog is a puppy, so it's time critical. If they close off Melbourne from regional Victoria, I'm in big trouble, I need to be able to travel to regional Victoria for one on one training. Has anyone had experience in getting exemptions for travel in case they try and impose the "Ring of Steel" again?
  12. Elizabeth CP
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    26 May 2021 in reply to Mimsy19

    You should be able to get a written exemption explaining why you need to travel.

    I am feeling down & very anxious. It feels like this will never end. I struggle with the constant concern that things will go down hill due to outbreaks so planning anything is not worthwhile. This makes life feel pointless. There is nothing to look forward to

  13. Sophie_M
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    26 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP
    Hi everyone,

    We can see this thread is more active lately due to the current coronavirus outbreak in Victoria. 

    For anyone feeling uncertain and worried about what might occur next, please feel free to contact the Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Service for support. It is available 24/7 at coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au. There is a dedicated phone line, staffed by mental health professionals briefed on the pandemic response, that is available on 1800 512 348.

    The Beyond Blue Support Service is also available via phone 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via beyondblue.org.au/get-support for online chat (3PM – 12AM AEST or email responses within 24 hours).

    Thank you all for coming together as a community and let's continue to help one another through sharing, connecting, and showing our support.  
  14. SmileySocks
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    35 posts
    27 May 2021 in reply to geoff
    geoff said:

    Hi All, this COV-19 has not only surprised all of us but our government both federal and state have introduced strict measures to keep this virus from spreading.

    The same should have happened in 2017 when the flu affected an enormous amount of people who passed away, far more than this current virus, but we'll learn from what we have done and what we've been allowed to do next time and be much quicker to respond.

    Stay safe.

    Geoff.

    I know this post was over a year ago but I've only just found it and just want to say.... This, so this!!!! You're so right. My Nan was one of those that passed away from the flu even though she had the flu shot in 2017 (That's how nasty it was). So many people died from a really nasty flu that year and we should have had restrictions then too. I feel it would have prevented a lot of those deaths.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. CalmCat
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    27 May 2021

    Hello My Fellow Victorians!

    Hope you're all safe and well.

    Its time be resilient again everyone, our lockdown is only for 7 days, I'm sure we'll smash it out of the park.

    Is everyone feeling optimistic?

    cc

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Elizabeth CP
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    27 May 2021 in reply to CalmCat

    No I'm feeling really down. Hotel quarantine has proven time after time not to work. Yet the federal government have not arranged an alternative except in Howard Spring in the NT.

    I am supposed to have an appointment with a hand therapist but have no idea if it will be cancelled. I feel as if things will never get better. There is no longer any hope in my life.

  17. Sophie_M
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    27 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP
    Hi Elizabeth CP,

    We wanted to check in on you and make sure you are doing okay. It sounds like the recent announcement of the snap lockdown has thrown you for a loop. Often when we are put back into situations where we have experienced depression or hopelessness before it can really make us feel like nothing has changed. It can be important to remember at times like this that this situation is temporary, as much as it can seem cyclical, change is occurring gradually. Finding some small adaptable routines that can be performed at home and within our control can make a world of difference when we don’t have much control of the outside world.

    You are not alone in this; we are in this together. We have reached out to you privately just to make sure you are doing okay and to see if you need any additional support.
     
     
  18. blondguy
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    27 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hey Elizabeth (and thankyou Sophie_M for the caring post)

    I havent been online for a few weeks yet I feel your pain as this is a difficult period we are all going through in Victoria and yes it can be mentally draining. Im the same situation as yourself...we can only 'try' to be gentle to ourselves during this short lockdown

    We are lucky to live where we do ElizabethCP just my humble point of view if thats okay

    my kind thoughts....Paul

    2 people found this helpful
  19. randomx
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    2423 posts
    27 May 2021 in reply to CalmCat

    Gday calm cat , nice post and yeah it'll be right . Can't believe we're into another one although l can't complain l'm not in Melbourne itself and l feel really bad for you guys and poor business too.

    Good thing is though these snaps have work really well all over and they said today it might even be less than 7days soooo, we see l suppose.

    Good luck to everyone. rx

    2 people found this helpful
  20. geoff
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    28 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hello Elizabeth CP, I still had my hand therapy sessions after the operations when I cut my tendons, this was when COVID first started.

    Hope you can as well.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Mimsy19
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    13 posts
    28 May 2021 in reply to CalmCat
    No, not really. Everyone wearing masks triggers my paranoia, I end up getting conspiracy delusions, and now they say people have to wear them even outdoors. I'm therefore not planning on leaving my unit for 7 days, I can't deal with delusions right now. I hate it when people call masks a "minor inconvenience" - no, not for everyone
    1 person found this helpful
  22. CalmCat
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    28 May 2021 in reply to Mimsy19

    Hi Mimsy19,

    I hope your having a good experience on the Beyond Blue forum.

    I'm so sorry to hear what masks to do you, my heart goes out to you. Have you got an exemption to wear a mask from your GP? That might be a good idea for you, I really think you should be able to leave your house. Try and not stay inside the whole 7 days.

    Let us know your thoughts.

    Regards,

    cc

  23. Elizabeth CP
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    29 May 2021 in reply to blondguy

    Thanks Geoff Sophie &Paul for your caring posts. It is 4am I've given up trying to sleep. My hand therapy appointment was changed to telehealth with a different person to normal. It was a waste of time

    She couldn't see my hand so her recommendations make no sense. What she suggested has been causing problems not fixing them. I feel like I'll never get the use of my hand back. This is adding to my MH isues.as well as stopping me sleeping becsuse of the pain and worry. I. wish the government had done a better job of rolling out vacinations and an effective quarantine system put in place so we didn't need lockdowns with all the issues they create.

  24. Summer Rose
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    29 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth

    I’m sorry your hand therapy appointment didn’t help.

    I understand your worry. As a wife, mother and carer, I understand how much you need the use of your hands to keep things functioning at home.

    I say this really gently, try to keep this set back in perspective. It’s one appointment and hopefully you will be able to have an in-person session within days.

    The news is promising. Record numbers of tests and single digit positive cases yesterday and today. This gives me a lot of hope.

    Take care. Kind thoughts to you

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Elizabeth CP
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    29 May 2021 in reply to Summer Rose

    My next appointment is in 2 weeks providing the restrictions are lifted. I will cancel if it is telehealth. In the meantime I have given up wearing the brace and exercising as I don't know which exercises are appropriate and the brace causes more pain.

    I feel very flat and unmotivated. I am too scared to get my hopes up for the lockdown finishing next week.

  26. Mimsy19
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    13 posts
    29 May 2021 in reply to CalmCat

    Thank you for the welcome. It's a nice forum.

    The issue unfortunately is not me wearing a mask, it's having everyone else wearing them that triggers the paranoia. I've discovered I'm not alone in this, others with similar mental illnesses have the same problem. If I could go to a quieter area, like the outer suburbs or a national park, I might have been able to avoid people and go for a walk. But there's the 5km rule in place again. It really feels like the government has managed to remove all coping strategies. Very frustrating.

    How are you doing?

  27. Sleepy21
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    29 May 2021

    hi all

    I'm struggling a lttle with the new lockdowns... i'm lonely. ppl don't offer to help

    (I live alone.)
    Today I reached out to a friend and organised to walk tomorrow. They were happy to help and we made a time.
    It took calling a helpline to help me understand I could ask for that.
    I think everyone is struggling so much in Melbourne in various ways so survival mode enters, sometimes we don't imagine that others are in the same boat. I am scared if I offer help to someone they may bark my head off and prefer to "do it alone" - however, there are some like me, who'd love to be offered a check in call or catch up. Guess it's a risk you take.
    I'll try see if I can assist others and look forward to the catch up with my friend tomorrow.

  28. Summer Rose
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    29 May 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth

    So glad to hear that you have an upcoming therapy appointment. Fingers crossed.

    I would be flat and unmotivated too. It’s really hard when you’re making progress to suffer a set back.

    Some of the things I do when I feel flat are to go for a walk, watch a movie or call a friend. Maybe you could call your son?

    Kind thoughts to you

  29. CalmCat
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    29 May 2021

    Hi Guys,

    Was my second full day of lock down today, and it wasn't to bad. I made sweet and sour pork from scratch, it was a little to sweet but still enjoyed it.

    What did everyone one else in Victoria do for lock down?

    Regards,

    cc

  30. Lauren57r
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    30 May 2021 in reply to CalmCat

    Im tired of the lockdowns that keep happening every time I think I can start to plan things and start to move forward they get ruined by lockdown. It makes it even harder now that I may not be able to see my partner who I haven't seen since march if the lockdown gets extended

    What is seriously wrong with following rules to prevent more lockdowns

    1 person found this helpful

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