I understand what you mean about supportive family and friends.....my situation is, that yes of course my close friends I feel the most comfortable with are supportive people...and yet I have not asked any of them for help or contacted them when in despair. The closest I came was last night. I waited until a kind lady I know had finished work for the day, she is extremely busy and professional, yet kind and supportive...the perfect person you might say.
I had planned to text saying "are you free, is this a good time to ring?" that evening...but I just could not make myself. She is not a trained professional and may be upset herself at hearing what I desperately wanted someone to hear...I could not lay this on her, she doesn't deserve it.....I can think of a few other close friends who I believe genuinely like me, care about me, perhaps even "love" me [I mean as a friend) but just could not let them see/hear me like this.
I am very close to my adult sons. One has marriage problems and very busy at work...he is feeling unhappy and lonely and I have been worried sick about him for months...I have been supporting him....i can't give him this to carry as well. I cant have him worried about his mother.
my other son is the most resilient person I know..a real glass half full person. He tends to lecture me a bit in a loving way.. I can tell he gets a bit impatient that I am so negative...I love him dearly but he loves me so much he can't be any real "help"....that sounds stupid but think about it.....he loves me so much, they can't be of help to me...and that's true. they are "too involved". that could be why people don't turn to 'family" even if they have a few.
its so hard to reveal your darkest thoughts and desperate situation to anyone except a trained professional who is not a personal friend or acquaintance...and yet these people I love are the ones I so badly want to tell.....