Hi MeKitty

Thank You for your kind and helpful post reply as I was mentally preparing for what was my covid doomsday holiday.

I'm still ashamed I struggled to choose between my fear of covid death and my beloved family.

I love Christmas songs and I found it heartwarming you would go to the trouble to search my favourites. Not many would bother to care. I'm still computer savvy so ensured I had a list ready to go, when the old days of Christmas CD's had expired hahaha.

Joyful music is healing to the soul. Thank You for reminding me what was so fun about singing Christmas songs to get into the spirit.

hello i am new here , just tonight depression increased, need to talk to some one that understands

Hello aussiewmn66!

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thankyou for having the courage to post too]

There are many kind people that can be here for you...How can we help?

Im Paul...a volunteer on the forums

Hi SD0102

I completely understand your stress. Sounds like you also are used to the excitement of menu planning and decorating, and then here we are frozen in covid fear.

I don't host anymore since separation, my eldest daughter has the task now with her husband, but that just escalated my anxiety as they are socially connected people.

23 at your table sounds like so much fun and laughter, and an incredible menu planner!!!

I know how you feel and I hope you ended up just letting the Christmas spirit dictate you like it did me as well as the positive posts on here that inspire us to soldier on.

I envy you for still being able to host! I had to stop hosting after separation, but my daughter allows me to make my nominated dishes to feel important and relevant.

I so hope you got to cook your heart out and finally have a laugh at the Christmas cracker hat jokes!

I'm back home now in my rural town thinking of you.

Heartfelt Thank You for your kind reply

Hello Doog,

There's no shame about it. The decisions we are all having to make are very difficult & so frought with emotion, while we we are all trying to assimilate all the new information, all the ongoing changes, some very confusing stuff at that...I feel like I'm in some sort of Twilight Zone episode since being in hospital for two days, & coming out I find I'm struggling to catch up & get my head around what's been happening. I keep thinking, it's just been two days!

I'm so glad yu found some of your old Xmas spirit.

I used to have an old fellow live upstairs, & he'd put on his Xmas music, or just sing solo, some old hymns around Xmas. You will be pleased to hear, I never complained about that - as much as noises bother me, I never had a problem with his Xmas music & singing. Indeed, I think I've missd that this last Xmas.

There's lots of music on YouTube. Just search a few words describingwhat sort of music you want, & you will be surprised. 😺 I know I am. Even with what audiobooks I have found.

Being home so much, I have the time, so I'll be finding whatever is most pleasing, relaxing, joyful, too, happy fun stuff,, & I'm also going to look for soundscape recordings - wildlife, birds, whales & dolphins maybe, just to kind of take me out of my little flat.

All the best,

mmMekitty

Hello Aussiewmn66,

Welcome to the forum. Since you have posted in this thread about coping with the Coronavirus, may I ask if your feeling of depression are related to COVID-19, the restrictions, the changes & Omicron? When you feel ready, please tell us more about what's going on for you.

Kind regards,

mmMekitty

I think COVID anxiety and constant fear is gradually killing me. Reaching out to express my feelings.

After years of coping with panic disorder more or less successfully (using many strategies including online support group) despite several severe surges in the last two years, the stress around the pandemic now seems to be destroying me. For the last few months I've felt worse and worse, with very disturbed sleep, sometimes just a few hours a night. A lot of the time I simply feel really bad. I use my large suite of strategies to cope and move through each day. There was a lot of stress in the few weeks before Christmas/NY and doctor asked me to focus on rest over the two week break. There was a little improvement but the last week is worse again.

After sleeping well the previous night (having worked with breathing meditations and gentle music to calm myself), last night I slept for a short while only to wake around 1 feeling ghastly with heat and tightness in my chest and later a feeling of being clammy all over. It felt different from everything before (although I have a book length history of weird horrible feelings) and I had a strong thought that it was the first onset of COVID. I used objective fact-finding strategies (using pulse oximeter and reason to note that my oxygen was perfect, pulse fast which could be caused by anxiety, and I had none of the listed symptoms, only this vague awful chest feeling), and then tried to use my usual strategies to calm and settle myself - it usually takes an hour or three - but it didn't/couldn't happen - I kept waking again on the verge of sleep with a novel symptom added to the mix (involuntary hand jerks to mirror actions in a dream).

Suffice it to say, it was an awful night with no further sleep and many fearful thoughts which I tried to control. At seven I got up and used my last precious RAT, which was negative. Since then have tried to recover: washed the dishes, had a cup of tea, walked at the beach, home for oatmeal and then curled up on the couch with a cat and a stuffed weighted toy (I have ALL the panic disorder paraphernalia). Got about an hour's sleep, with some dreams.

Then woke at noon, still feeling vile. Just sat there exhausted, thinking, how can I go on like this? Decided two things (1) signing up for the next support group meeting (2) post my experience somewhere so I can just tell SOMEONE. And now I've done it. And I do feel somewhat more calm now. Still very tired, but better than before.

Hi there..you sound similar to me. I posted on here recently..just scroll back a bit to find me.

I cannot bear it any longer either. Feel we've been pushed mentally emotionally beyond our endurance. I am fairly strong intelligent and capable person.

I am not any more. CoVid..our leaders, doctors, media, other people's extreme reactions have beaten me down. I can't take any more. This is not living.

Hi moonstruck I agree with what u said and this time is dire.

The healthcare system is in shambles ATM....drs are scared to work or see patients face to face, fair enough and I understand but it is so hard on the system...

Everyone tells me if I was in mh crises to avoid the ed and not go stay inpatient now....it's a rough thing to say....the very places that are meant to help those who are ,do vulnerable, can't function now. Mental health help is suffering a lot

Recent ways I have been coping...

And it has helped me.

Stay away from all news, telegram, updates, heavily limit discussion on everything to do with Covid. Even if its only for a week. Just take your thoughts and emotions on a restful holiday. Maybe even better if you are able to physical go.

I was reading article after article in these groups I am in on telegram. I like to be informed and do research. But it got so bad, I was experiencing an increase in fear. Emotions were becoming overwhelming.

Just my theory and my experience.... Lots of panic, anxiety, confusion etc causes inside stress on the body.

I say do whatever you can that helps yourself find peace, rest, quietness, beauty and a gentle calmess.

Soak in a bath of epsom salts

Listen to calming music

Watch cats doing funny stuff on ytube or in real life

Deep breathing

Diffuse 100 %lavender oils

Consider taking magnesium (it can calm some people down)

Walks near the ocean, trees,

Get of sugar and caffeine. (I have been now 6 days without sugar, and feel calmer then before)

Hug your pet dog

Swim in the ocean

Watch the sunrise

Attempt it for a day, if 1 week seems to much .

Just my attempts to help myself....Except I don't actually have a dog to hug.

And I too experienced "just so sick of this whole thing"

So had to find my own way, as I could not and don't want to live the "just so sick of this thing" way of living

Peace out

Thank you for your comments, and yes, I was crying while reading many of the comments here this afternoon as it touched the pain and trauma that's built up inside me. I too feel like I just can't cope any more.

But at the same time, I want to live, to thrive and serve a meaningful purpose, to connect with what is beautiful and meaningful. I need to find a way to survive the fear and do more than struggle and limp through existence. I meditate, listen to talks from Plum Village (meditation from a Zen Buddhist perspective), read daily meditations from the Centre for Action and Contemplation, care for my animals, listen to calming music and affirmations, walk on the beach, do some simply t'ai chi, focus on natural life (birds, trees, insects) around me, try to communicate my situation the best I can to my family, focus on the many things I'm grateful for, try to be open to a sense of meaningful purpose and goals for my life, even though my personal resources of energy and concentration are limited at the moment.

I'm also being as proactive I can about protecting myself and my family from infection. I now have a reusable respirator with medical grade filters that I use whenever I need to be inside with other people, which is minimal as I continue a lockdown style of existence and get everything delivered. I currently use a meal delivery service as I got rundown and overwhelmed recently due to the stress of looking after several overlapping responsibilities at once in December and my self care went out the window amid the time pressures.

Let's keep talking to each other and sharing our experience - the frustrations and the pain, and also the things we do to help ourselves and others.

Love to you and to all the forum members.

I tried to reply to Quirky RX Hanna and Sleepy to thank them for their kind words. Unfortunately the post didn't get posted. I'm sorry I'm not up to redoing it but wanted to let you know I read and appreciated your thoughts. I'm still struggling with motivation and negative feelings because of the way the pandemic is being handled and its impact on so many o us. There seems to be a lack of information to guide us on how to cope with living with covid. I don't feel safe going out with so many cases and don't want to risk passing it on to any of my hsb's therapists or workers. This leaves me feeling trapped but guilty as I am doing nothing fun for my hsb.

Thank you to everyone for listing the things that are helping through these times.

Today I am going to check out Plum Village and the Centre for Action and Contemplation.

Complex Little Pirate would it be possible to tell me the brand of mask you have as I have been looking into the best mask to get and yours sounds very good.

The NSW prem said yesterday their hospital system will be able to cope through the peak that's expected in a few wks time, so good news for NSW anyway.

lt'd be nice to hear something like that from our Vic prem.

rx

hi all

one thing i learned through this process is that i do need to get out and about to feel healthy

it became easy during lockdowns to hide behind thinking I was doing the right thing by staying home all the time.

Just being in a new environment is crucial for me. I can't stay home to long, because then I start to kind of like it, and forget about the ouside world - next minute, i'm really down.

For me coping has been getting outside as much as i can.

Hi Sleepy,

I think I getwhere you are coming from. I have found being alone I felt safer & more secure than when with people, so I do spend a lot of time on my own, in my flat, not wanting to venture out to where people are. But even for me, the isolation has had a subty increasing effect of making me feel like I'm in prison. I do now acknowledge that even I need to get out & be in the world to some slight extent on some occasions. I'm thinking, once a month would be fine by my head, but I need more physical exercise, so I will (I hope) be organising more outings with my helper, if only to go somewhere, walking,.

I'd love to get into some parks, & walking tracks, or go with her for a ferry ride, up & down the river, or ( as she has promised) to her place, now they have a pool, to do some swimming. She has dogs, a cat, a garden, on a larger block now, so it will not be risky in the least as far as COVID-19 goes.

I realise I just want to get out of my flat for a while, more often. Even a walk around the block, with my helper, for support, would be great. (Pity I gotta get dressed & put shoes on first!)

I do find my mood is lifted, even if only for the time I'm with my helper, or talking to people, like here on BB, helpful, because it breaks the constant dull lifelessness I tend to feel. It's not with me for 24/7, when I can break it up, whether with music, little games, talking, books, terrible tele, good food, whatever.

Is that what you have experienced, Sleepy? Do I understand?

Big virtual hugs, (no hurties), to you.

mmMekitty.

Hi mmmekitty

I feel like that...I domt have ppl in my place hardly ever, my place gets messy and I get down and isolated more and more. It's hard to manage and then I just bunker down and don't leave.

Hi Added, the mask I chose is '3M Standard Half Facepiece Respirator' and the filters to go with it are the '3M 3PR Particulate Filters 6035'. The respirator comes in small, medium and large, the medium one fits me (I'm a transgender man) and my mother, the large one fits my dad.

Thanks so much Complex Little Pirate - I will check them out.

Hey,

Just read your post… wanted to reply because as a fellow Victorian I get it..
it’s like the hunger games atm.. an absolute joke that people can’t get tested or RATs anywhere & people are literally making up their own rules!!

what a waste of 2 years.. it feel so defeating. Yet my anxiety makes me wish we were in lockdown, that there was some control. I felt safe then. It’s not a good feeling to want to stay away from loved ones, There is something fundamentally wrong with that.. but that’s what this has done to me.. it’s created fear.. the panic and anxiety I have always dealt with but all this on top has really amped it up.

There are some things I used to enjoy, that I don’t see my self ever doing again, ie. sitting in a theatre, or day out in Melbourne., or even travelling interstate.

Just sick of being scared, sick of this Limbo we are living in.. & there feels like there is zero leadership or advice. & sick of wondering every 2 hours if I’ve got covid or is it just anxiety..

I know this is not a helpful reply but argh.. just need a rant sometimes…

Take care, look after yourself … 2 years ago we had this “we’re all in this together” vibe.. we need to try remember that…

Hi there, I want to thank you for your comments. I'm scared too, a lot of the time, or even most of the time. I'm scared right now. My life is dominated by fear, I'm sorry to say. It's exhausting. That's why I'm posting this reply, because sometimes expressing how I feel, helps me. I'm also listening to a favorite affirmations track on loop ('Calming our scattered minds' on YT). Afterwards I'll try some new sleep meditations I found.

I too felt better during lockdowns. I know they caused a lot of people a great deal of difficulty especially if their work was affected, but they also protected us from excessive waves of infection. I was anxious attending three family gatherings over the holiday period; it felt like we were playing Russian roulette.

It's pretty much a slog of fear and pain for me at the moment, but I know from past experience that this will change over time. Moments of grace are so appreciated: a glimpse of a pelican sailing serenely above, the sight of my horses grazing peacefully in their paddock, the feeling of my cats coming to curl up next to me, the smile or kind word of a stranger.

Another fan of lockdown here. I’m in safe WA watching it all unfold across the border, and along with many others, I don’t want our borders coming down. It seems like chaos and madness and I can’t understand why we would open up and invite it in. Russian roulette is an apt descriptor…

l've thought this round and through the others , WA and some of the others were being absolutely ridiculous nanny state buttttt, here we are over on the East and what a mess now sooooo, maybe not.

l also wanted the lock downs to end , 18mths when the rest of the world was open and managing , until this last latest round. l was worried about business, people , our kids , and everyone's MH . But as they've done in Vic though and just throwing open all gates as wide as they can virtually over night now that rather than gradually was just crazy and here we are.

From here we can only hope this thing drops off in a few wks as it did in Africa.

rx

Hi randomx

Yep mate I agree with you, WA & Qld have been free or almost free of covid for two years I'd rather have been living there than NSW! Smaller widespread population helped them too - still their premiers stayed tough on their state borders. Victoria didn't stand much chance with people coming across from NSW illegally a lot & bringing the virus with them.

Yep trouble in NSW is they opened up & relaxed things like masks and distancing with the plans they had for Delta so thought we were double vaxxed etc., so they thought it was OK & they didn't pay attention to Omicron even though it was raging through overseas and the govt should have been more cautious and had plans in place for more contagious variants. People here can't get booster shots yet and the govt didn't procure RATs and kids aren't vaccinated yet & now NSW and Vic are a mess.

Apart from doing our best to keep things under control until people got vaccinated, I feel like the lockdowns and all the effort we went through to save our hospitals and help stop so many people getting very sick or dying has been wasted.

Nothing will completely stop Omicron it's so infectious but we could have been better prepared and more cautious. Hopefully in younger people it'll be mild like a cold/flu but for others it still seems to be pretty nasty and while most people can manage at home some will still need hospital and it seems to be affecting children more than Delta did. Our hospitals are struggling and I don't believe what the politicians say, the doctors and nurses say things are pretty bad and now we have supply problems in supermarkets. Don't know how schools will manage with teachers getting it.

In the UK they're having trouble with rubbish removal as too many workers are sick or isolating, you should see the photos of overflowing rubbish bins in the streets there!

They seem to hope this Omicron will peak around February and recede fast but they're not sure because Africa had a lot of previous infections giving them more immunity so they can't be certain.

Shopping centres here almost empty, car parks almost empty, people now staying away. Everyone having picnics outdoors, buying take away and having dinner at picnic tables, outdoor cafes still busy. We're lucky it's summer here in Australia.

Bummer though that we didn't take more care and planned ahead when we could have.

Hi Hanna,

& ... the problems associated with the RATest, availability, expecting or soon to expect people to report the results - I wonder how many people will do that?

How many people will not be counted as having COVID-19 each day? & where are they? No one but the individual & perhaps some people close to them will know.

How many people will isolate following a RATest?

How many people would go out of their way (especially if they must buy their own),to do two or three of the tests, because doing a single RATest is not as accurate as having the PCR test?

How many people will be out in the community, thinking they are 'negative' when in fact they may be positive for COVID-19?

& how many will be experiencing symptoms severe enough to force them to stay home, not going to work, which will only impact on the workplaces ability to function if 'too many' people are off sick? How many will still go to work, even knowing they are infectious, just not showing many symptoms?

How many people will end up getting sicker or dying because their hospital treatments have been put back, again, & again? Try as they might, the good people working in the hospital system can only do so much with the resources they have. It seems, they are expected to be able to meet the growing demand, without any way near the resources they need.

The sort of conditions we are having to face have me projecting ahead to a time when we will experience deprivation like that experienced during the Great Depression, or World War conditions. I dared not let myself think like this, even though I saw many images from countries without the resources or supports we have, because it was so frightening. I wasn't quite ready to believe it could be like that here, but now I am very near to that sort of future as being very possible & something to prepare for.

I still think we can deal with COVID-19 Omicron & future mutations, but it takes a concerted , MASSIVE, effort from everyone. Even our mental health, supporting each other, lots of communication, including quality information,& truckloads of old-fashioned grit & determination.

mmMekitty

Hi mmMekitty

I don't think it will be as bad as you say as our world has advanced in science and medicine since then but yes the actual figures will be much higher than reported.

There's no way to stop this virus it will eventually run itself out of people to infect but we can take sensible precautions to protect ourselves and our health care system.

People manage amazingly well by picnicking outside and going for walks and thankfully we have access to the internet and books and indoor activities to keep our minds active.

I think it's best to stay as positive as possible as pandemicd eventually burn themselves out. But we haven't managed it here this time with Omicron as well as we could have done!

That's true mekitty

I wish things like Ur points were more talked about.

If someone suffers distress, trauma,, anxiety, crises and needs help...we are being told hospitals aren't safe or when we get there, there's no services

everyone hold on tightly to the diamonds in Ur life, friends, health professionals, who will help u and support u during this time

It sure is a rough time to be q vulnerable person

All I get fro, got and media messaging s judgement and chastisement

Stay home, Stay safe etc etc

I think messaging should also focus on how to stay well. To keep stable. On where to get crises support. On support services and food centres.

Those places have kept me sane and out of debt.

The virus is close to home for me now. There seems to be a case at a lot of places I go. Plus my cousin's ex boyfriend, double vaxxed, no known underlying conditions died from Covid.

Im double vaxxed but more wary now because it seems to be in my area.

Hi all

Very valid points here. My partner, his son & I tested positive yesterday on a RAT. We don't live together. His sis lives with them, has symptoms but tests negative. I feel pretty crappy. Sore all over, headache, tired hot/cold. It would be easy for people to go about their business if symptoms are mild. Mine are not. I did get out in the garden/sunshine today. Maybe I overdid it. Trying to look after kids too & very hard to get a shopping delivery. Cost $15 ,& coming Wednesday night. Some foods out of stock

it's crazy

Cmf x

How safe is the vaccine ?My brother ended up in ICU after developing two blood clots from the vaccine.It is very scared times.