I think I getwhere you are coming from. I have found being alone I felt safer & more secure than when with people, so I do spend a lot of time on my own, in my flat, not wanting to venture out to where people are. But even for me, the isolation has had a subty increasing effect of making me feel like I'm in prison. I do now acknowledge that even I need to get out & be in the world to some slight extent on some occasions. I'm thinking, once a month would be fine by my head, but I need more physical exercise, so I will (I hope) be organising more outings with my helper, if only to go somewhere, walking,.
I'd love to get into some parks, & walking tracks, or go with her for a ferry ride, up & down the river, or ( as she has promised) to her place, now they have a pool, to do some swimming. She has dogs, a cat, a garden, on a larger block now, so it will not be risky in the least as far as COVID-19 goes.
I realise I just want to get out of my flat for a while, more often. Even a walk around the block, with my helper, for support, would be great. (Pity I gotta get dressed & put shoes on first!)
I do find my mood is lifted, even if only for the time I'm with my helper, or talking to people, like here on BB, helpful, because it breaks the constant dull lifelessness I tend to feel. It's not with me for 24/7, when I can break it up, whether with music, little games, talking, books, terrible tele, good food, whatever.
Is that what you have experienced, Sleepy? Do I understand?
Big virtual hugs, (no hurties), to you.