welcome to Beyond blue.
it is great to hear you decided to come here to these forums and reach out.
i am sorry to hear what you have been through with the church. Unfortunately we are all not all perfect even the pope him self is not perfect.
The bible verse that comes to mind is father forgive them for they do not know what they do Luke 23:34. Unfortunately the church can be very hurtful when it comes to mental illness but I find the more I dwell on how I have been hurt by the church the worst I get so I have to find it in my heart to forgive the.
Gandhi once said I like Christ but I do not like your christians your christians is unlike your Christ. And personally myself believe that is very true.
So may I ask are you getting professional help for your mental illness ? being a Christian it can be very hard to reach out for help but to me it has been worth it I have not found a good psychologist yet but the GP,s I have been to regarding my illness have been great and wants to help me despite my faith.
as I end here today I just want to leave you with two Christian songs that has helped me through my depression and lowest moments. They are
remind me who I am by jason grey ( it must be watched with the video clip you can find on youtube.)
and you are not alone by rick pino
i hope things get better for you soon.
feel free to keep reaching out on this forum their is always someone out there who is willing to listen.