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Forums / Staying well / DOES WHAT YOU ARE DOING SUIT THE REAL YOU?

Topic: DOES WHAT YOU ARE DOING SUIT THE REAL YOU?

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. The Bro
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    The Bro avatar
    182 posts
    10 September 2021

    Hi Everyone

    I was talking to a friend this morning about a certain comment I had made earlier, when he said 'Yes but that's not the real you".

    That and the subsequent conversation got me thinking about a course I did years ago, by a company that wanted all its employees to be on the same page so the speak, with values aligned as closely as possible.

    So what is a value? We ended up agreeing that it is a principle or standard of behaviour, and judging what's important in life.

    I often refer to the term "Moral compass", that is how our thoughts and morals help to guide us through life. They are an intrinsic part of you that reveal what you do and how you do it. Once you form a set of values, they kind of become what you stand for.

    When you don't stick to your values it can feel a little weird and you will probably reflect on that later. Someone may even pull you up on it like my friend did at the start of this post!

    If you don't get on with someone and are always clashing, it normally comes down to a clash of values. Recognising that can be useful in understanding what's going on with the relationship issues.

    So I really feel that deciding on personal values is quite important, and letting them guide you through life.

    Some examples of values may include honesty, openness, caring for the environment, being positive, being a role model to kids, being a good listener and so on.

    Just wondering, has anyone thought much about what their personal values might be, and tried sticking to them? Or found it difficult to do so?

    I look forward to hearing what you think!

    Regards, The Bro

  2. Elizabeth CP
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    2430 posts
    10 September 2021 in reply to The Bro

    I think sticking to your values or doing what is meaningful to you is essential for a satisfying life. I chose a career which involved helping others which although stressful at times was satisfying. I'm now a full time carer for my hsb. Although this can be extremely stressful not doing it would be totally against my values gven the circumstances so I would feel guilty if I didn't give up work to look after him.

    Family is extremely important to me so I have done everything I can to try to remain connected and close to my family including extended family. The restrictions have made this very difficult if not impossible. I can't see my kids or grandkids and help them currently which is not good for my MH as it makes me feel useless even though I know it is out of my control.

  3. The Bro
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    182 posts
    10 September 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi there Elizabeth CP and thanks heaps for your response!

    All the very best of luck with your husband - I am sure he appreciates the angel you must be.

    Whilst the care you are giving and the lockdown makes attending to other family members difficult, they say we all grow from adversity. Chances are that as tough as it must be, you will look back on this stage of your life and realise it was all for a reason.

    Regards, The Bro

  4. The Bro
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    182 posts
    12 September 2021 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Thanks for replying again Elizabeth CP

    Whilst your ill husband is unfortunate and a huge responsibility for yourself, how very fortunate you are to have such a strong and functional family. I know so many people who are estranged from parents or various family members which is a great burden to carry through life.

    I think you are amazing.

    The Bro

  5. sbella02
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    sbella02 avatar
    47 posts
    14 September 2021 in reply to The Bro

    The Bro,

    I love this post so much. I've often thought about this; what my own morals are, and how this dictates the way I experience and conduct aspects of my life. In fact, I have a sheet of paper that says "My 10 Personal Morals" stuck up on one of the full-length mirror doors in my bedroom, just to remind myself of the principles of morality that I strive to live by every day of my life.

    I eventually want to own a business when I'm older and more established in my career, and one method of conduct that I will be strict on is value alignment amongst employees. I can't stand it when my own personal values don't align with those of the business for whom I am working. This is the reason I left my last workplace - they valued money over the wellbeing of their employees.

    Elizabeth CP, I am deeply sorry to hear about your husband. That's amazing that he has such a strong and caring support system around him. I can tell that family is an important value for you, and caring for each other's health and wellbeing plays an important role in keeping you all connected, which is beautiful.

    All the best, SB

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