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Forums / Staying well / Gratitude for the positive side in a negative situation.

Topic: Gratitude for the positive side in a negative situation.

19 posts, 0 answered
  1. CMF
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    8660 posts
    28 February 2019

    Hi all,

    So today didn't start to well. Hopped into the car to take little miss to school and the car wouldn't start...flat battery. Great, my anxiety starts to rise, questions start, what ifs pop up. How will I get her to school? Why didn't I know it was going flat? Car was serviced a month ago, why didn't the mechanic check it? Why didn't i ask them to? What if I didn't have RACV? How much will it cost? What if it happened on a day I had to work? What if it happened after work when i had to get back to pick her up from aftercare?

    You get the picture yeah?

    As I sat in my state of anxiety I started to look at the what could have occurred versus and what actually did occur. I started to counteract the negatives and realise that despite the inconvenience I was sort of lucky. For example;

    The battery could have gone flat when on a day I had to work - The battery went flat on a day i didn't work.

    The battery could have gone flat after work or while I was out and had to get back to pick up my daughter - The battery went flat first thing in the morning so I was not really stranded anywhere too far away.

    How would i get my daughter to school? - Fortunately her dad was able to pick her up and take her before work.

    What if I didn't have RACV?- Well I do have RACV so i was lucky and they were quite prompt.

    How much will it cost? - Sure, it was an added expense i didn't need but it goes with running a car and fortunately I have worked some extra hours the last 2 weeks so that will help with the cost of a the new battery.

    As I sat and thought of these things i thought to myself that it actually worked out ok for me. I wasn't going to or at work, my daughter was still home with me and her dad was able to take her to school, I've done extra hours at work , I have RACV. All these things made me realise my situation was not as bad as it initially felt.

    I looked back and felt grateful, so very grateful.

    Do you have a story to share?

    CMF x

    2 people found this helpful
  2. jess334
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    4 March 2019 in reply to CMF

    Hi CMF,

    Thanks for your post. That is a great coping mechanism.

    I'm glad that you have found a strategy that allows you to move forward.

    I started writing a gratitude journal at the beginning of the year. I really enjoy spending a few minutes every night reviewing my day and writing down the good things. It really helps put things in perspective and I get to end the day focusing on all the good things.

    Kind thoughts, Jess

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Quercus
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    5 March 2019 in reply to CMF

    Hi CMF (and a wave to Jess too).

    What a great idea for a thread. I hope it takes off.

    My anxiety went on a catastophising bender last night. Autoimmune arthritis has been flaring up badly and I've been waiting desperately to do my injection.

    Finally the evening arrived and I laid down to try sleep. Tears leaking out. What if it doesn't work? What if my movement stays restricted? What if the pain never ends? Hubby and I have been fighting... Pain makes me short and angrier. He will leave. He'll take the kids.

    You get it.

    But then hubby woke up and asked me what was wrong and in his no nonsense way asked questions and organised a plan of attack.

    I realised....

    1. The meds do work. They may only last a week but they do help enormously.

    2. My rheumatologist is there for a reason and wants to help. She is happy to answer emails and try other meds if needed. And she is very good at her job.

    3. Hubby. He is a problem solver extraordinaire. When I am overwhelmed he talks through the practical steps of what we can do.

    4. It has been worse. Even though the pain has been awful it has nothing on the numbing hopelessness that was undiagnosed pain. We know what this is and that is powerful.

    5. I am stronger than I think. Yep pain wears me down. Fear wears me down. But I got through the worst (newborn and not being able to walk or sleep well), I can deal with this.

    Thanks CMF. I hope others join in too and that your car is reliable from now on.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. CMF
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    26 April 2019 in reply to Quercus

    So tonight i found myself in a panic. Boom gates down on my way home from work so i cannot get across and therefore will be late to pick up little miss from aftercare. I'm panicking, making calls. Notify aftercare i will be late, her dad still at work, M (partner) offers to go to the school and wait for me with her. I think I'm gonna be sick, my worst fear...being late to pick her up. I arrive 5 mins late, aftercare coordinator calls to see if i'm ok and tells me not to stress, M arrives just after me. It was an awful experience but i got there, it could have been worse.

    I am trying to find the positives;

    1. It was only 5mins and stuff happens

    2. when i realised the gates were not going up i was next to a side st so it was easy to turn off and go back around a different way. I could have been in a spot where i couldn't turn around i.e right at the boom gate or at a traffic island, but i wasn't. I was at the side st intersection.

    3. i got a good run once i got past the freeway exit ramp.

    I still feel a little rattled and sick but we are home, safe and warm.

    cmf x

  5. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
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    23 March 2020 in reply to CMF

    Hello,

    This is an old post but I wanted to bring it back because it feels more important than ever. With the coronavirus things feel pretty hopeless and there is so much uncertainty so it's been really hard. One thing that does work for me is trying to be grateful for as much as I can even when so many things are going wrong right now.

    Anyway, here's a bit of my list.

    1. There is a little bird bath outside of my window and the birds love it and it's so wonderful to watch them flap about and it really is the cutest thing watching them have a bath and shake it off to get dry :)

    2. That I have access to the internet so I can talk to people like you. It can be really hard when there's news everywhere, but there's also really cute and funny youtube videos and interesting things to read.

    3.There is some nice things happening right now. Given everyone has to be isolated, apparently the water in Venice is as clear as ever and places like Audible are giving free access to audio books (it's on my to do list).

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Blufftuff
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    145 posts
    23 March 2020

    I was diagnosed with vertigo it was so bad I could not get out of bed

    Specialist told me he knew it was my left ear and he needed remove ear canal making me permanently death in this ear we agreed and signed the forms for operation.

    A day or 2 after signing form I came off my bike cracking my neck and back .

    During this time in hospital (which could of resulted in me being in a wheel chair. )

    I got my positive out of this negative situation.

    A Trainee walked past saw me having a vertigo attack asked me what was going on and he immediately said it is not your ears but the medication I was on for Epilepsy.

    Had this trainee doctor not walked past I would have my ear canal removed.

    How amazing is this,

    I have more stories like this but one at a time.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. CMF
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    25 May 2020 in reply to Blufftuff
    Hi all,

    Glad you found my thread. RT thanks for the kick start.

    Blufftuff, that is amazing. You were meant to be there, the trainee was sent to you.

    It certainly has been a testing time. I have been able to slow down a little, learn how to relax. I've painted my house, taken more interest in cooking. I think I'm becoming a little bit better at putting things into perspective and how to challenge my anxiety.I've started meditating, stretching, and stop and breathe when feeling overwhelmed at times. I'm starting a gratitude journal.

    These are all things I was 'too busy ' for. Hopefully i will continue with them.

    Cmf x
  8. SapereAude
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    29 May 2020 in reply to CMF

    Hi CMF,

    Thanks for sharing. I love that you are trying to find the positive even in a negative situation

    Great work and a nice thread bump!

    Take care all!

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Jesicca
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    47 posts
    29 May 2020 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Hey romantic_thi3f,

    I agree that now is better a time than ever to practice gratitude.

    Something I have felt incredibly grateful for during this time is my boyfriend. He has been incredibly supportive when I have felt a little lost (having lost my job due to my work temporarily closing) and I have realised the importance of telling people you are grateful for them because it's such an uplifting compliment that is based on their personality and their true character. I have been struggling a bit with my sense of self and especially my body image more than usual during this pandemic and its making me realise that if there is one thing I would want to tell everyone in the world it is that they are more than their physical appearance. I am so grateful for my loved ones and I think everyone has someone they are grateful for that might not even know it. So I hope everyone reading this considers that they are probably one of those people that don't always know it, but definitely should.


    1 person found this helpful
  10. Blufftuff
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    145 posts
    31 May 2020 in reply to Jesicca

    Thanks for sharing your post was great to read

    I have had many times where I have been situations with my health where I have slipped into depression.

    During these dark times it was the strength of my Wife that got me through the dark times

    This is something I am so grateful for

    All the best finding a job

  11. therising
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    1 June 2020 in reply to CMF

    Hi CMF

    Such a thought provoking post. Very much appreciated. So glad you met with inspiration through your experience. I love the fact that you question much. Hard to find answers or experience a shift in consciousness when we're not asking questions.

    Having lived with depression for a number of years some time ago, I can now say (looking back) I did ask a lot of good questions but that's where things tended to stop. I was stuck with questions that felt more like statements. You know the ones like

    • What's wrong with me?!
    • Why doesn't anyone care?!
    • Why am I even here?!

    Wasn't 'til I came out of my depression and began looking for the answers that I realised that they were more so valid questions that were leading me to seek valid answers. My curiosity or wonder became my leader, toward answers. Ever since, I have enjoyed the game of 'follow the leader', in life. Wonder always leads me to answers, even if the answers don't reveal themselves for some weeks during my investigation.

    • 'What was 'wrong' with me?' was revealed through my understanding of the chemistry and perception that can play out in depression
    • 'Why doesn't anyone care?' was revealed through the fact that many did not possess the expertise to care in a way that could help me manage my way out of depression. Of course they still cared but not in the way I desperately needed them to
    • 'Why am I even here?' was revealed through my love of wonder. We bring our self to life through wonder. Through wonder, we are led to excitement, to answers, to fulfilling our longings and through wonder we evolve. We wonder our way to revelations such as 'I wonder what would have happened if my car didn't start on the morning I had to go to work?' Not hard to imagine how stressful things would have been. We can even wonder our way through to gratitude. Something so important is our ability to also wonder about difference, including the positive difference we can make in our own life and the lives of others

    To become wonder full, like we used be and to question often as we used to do, when we were very small, means to return or turn again to our most natural self...the wonderful explorer and seeker of knowledge and greater understanding.

    Take care and thanks again for the inspiration :)

    1 person found this helpful
  12. CMF
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    2 June 2020 in reply to therising

    Thanks all for the positive comments. I'm glad others have found this thread helpful and we've all been able to bounce off each other.

    I know sometimes we need to dig deep to find positives but how nice is it when we do find them.

    cmf x

  13. Blufftuff
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    145 posts
    5 June 2020 in reply to CMF

    it almost seems natural for us focus on the negative and not the positive

    Totally agree we need to refocus dig deep and when we discover the positive

    it makes the negative so small and less dominating over our lives

    1 person found this helpful
  14. CalmCat
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    11 June 2020 in reply to Blufftuff

    I see negative experiences as growth and keep on growing.

    Doz

    2 people found this helpful
  15. Leisa68
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    103 posts
    12 June 2020

    Hi all,

    It's amazing reading all these thought-provoking stories. Everyone here appears to be very gracious about what has happened to them and their personal way out. Well done to all.

    I have a long story, which resulted in abuse, abusing myself and now I am partly immobile. There is a lot to be sorry for myself for, but I am trying not to do that. So:

    I have a partner who supports me, drives me around, takes me to appointments and listens to me. I know I am very lucky and am grateful for that.

    Despite being immobile, I can still study! There are many online courses, (of which I am doing two) there are online films, tv and there is always youtube. Imagine if I was in this situation thirty years ago!

    I have some very caring friends who keep in touch.

    I already feel better writing this!

    Have a wonderful day

    Leisa68

    1 person found this helpful
  16. CMF
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    8 August 2020 in reply to Leisa68
    Hi again everyone and welcome to any newcomers.

    Well, hasn't it been a very draining few months. Lots of ups and downs, things improved and now, here in Vic, we are on hard lockdown till mid September. I have many positives to share. I have become calmer because I see this is affecting everyone not just me. My office had had to close for the lockdown but the company is still paying us. During this lockdown I plan to walk everyday as we are allowed 1 hr for exercise/fresh air. I have lots I'd like to do around the house, garden, painting, clean out cupboards, now I can do them. I miss not being at work but I don't have to rush back and forth for a while. It will be Spring when lockdown ends, we spend the last of winter watching rainy days and sleeping in a little. I get to be home for remote learning. I have time to stop and be grateful.

    Hope everyone is doing ok.

    Cmf x
    1 person found this helpful
  17. therising
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    8 August 2020 in reply to CMF

    Hi CMF

    This has become an incredible thread revealing many inspiring masters of challenge.

    Without a doubt, there are a heck of a lot of challenges in life, some small and some enormous, some repetitive and some altogether new. Reading here how everyone has come to assess their challenges and move through them really is inspiring. To find gratitude within challenge is a gift, one we may have never taken the time to understand until we're led to know what gratitude looks and feels like.

    CMF, you are a natural leader and light for others, a gift. You throw out light to those around you and the best in them begins to shine.

    One of the things I'm grateful for is this inspiring and grateful circle of people here on this thread, those who are determined to master their challenges and find the best in themselves.

    :)

    2 people found this helpful
  18. ecomama
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    8 August 2020 in reply to CMF

    That's beautiful CMF, so much to be grateful for.

    We have a cute Recipes thread here and a Gardening thread too if you'd like to share the capers you're getting up to at your house, we'd love to hear about it!

    Sending you lots of warm well wishes always,
    EM

    1 person found this helpful
  19. CMF
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    8 August 2020 in reply to therising
    WOW, thank you therising. Such beautiful, heartfelt words. I'm a little teary and overwhelmed, in a good way 😊. I've faced many challenges over the last few years and it has led me to become who I am and I'm at peace. I strive to be a person who looks for the good, looks outside a situation and considers all factors to be more understanding. I'm a big overthinker, it never stops, however I think I've learnt to use my overthinking in a different way. Rather than worry, which I still do at times, i use it to assess all angles. I just realised this as I am writing - thank you.

    Cmf x
    1 person found this helpful

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