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Forums / Staying well / Guilt for being strong.

Topic: Guilt for being strong.

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Not_Batman
    Valued Contributor
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Not_Batman avatar
    445 posts
    16 May 2020

    Just after some advice.

    ive spent the last couple of days feeling overcome with guilt.

    Backstory: My boss sort of belittled me in front of 6 other managers, saying that my project was Full of mistakes. However they only had 1 side of the story and none of the facts.

    when this happened, i became quite angered because it made me feel a little worthless. however, in the heat of the moment i did something i dont normally do...i stood up for myself, very vocally, giving all of the facts and the full story.

    after the event, and even a couple of days later im still obsessing over it, and feeling guilty for doing the right thing.

    for the most part i am coping with my anxiety and depression, but am finding it difficult to stop the guilt for being strong. How do i come to terms with the guilt?

    Not Batman.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9215 posts
    16 May 2020 in reply to Not_Batman

    Hi NB, welcome

    We look up to our peers as if they are more than human, but they aren’t, good on you for standing up.

    This topic was the centrepoint in my original breakdown in 1987. I’d fined a state government minister for a breach of local laws then was told to not issue fines against him again. That order was unlawful, discriminatory and plain wrong. I continued and issued 3 more fines then a huge panic attack put me off work.

    Short story is- I was made the scapegoat and sacked but Im proud of my stance. However my therapist at that time asked “Tony, why are you always trying to save the world” and “8 billion people with thinking with shades of grey, how do you expect to survive being so black and white “?

    The answer would have been so simple had I realised- to tell the boss that he can cover the ministers illegal activities not me.

    In your case guilt is the result and had you not defended yourself by mentioning the facts your guilt would have been far worse.

    google

    beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor

    Repost anytime

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Blue Elmo
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Blue Elmo avatar
    11 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to Not_Batman

    Hi Not_Batman !

    I know its been a while since you posted this, but I just wanted to reassure you incase its something that still gets in your mind, that you did the right thing and I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. You have no reason to feel guilty, and instead should be proud of yourself for that confidence and carry on defending what you believe is right.

    1 person found this helpful

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