First time on here.

I've been fighting since I was 15. I think I'm getting there now.

15 years. I know it sounds like a long time but it has been a very gradual process, getting better and stronger as the years added up. Plus I don't feel nearly thirty!!!!

what was the thing that helped most in getting me out of the darkness? Actually wanting help and being determined to do what I had to do. Medication AND therapy! Not one or the other. What helped was finding a psychologist I felt understood and was invested in helping me.

you wouldn't think to look at me now, I have a very good job and just got a promotion, I'm educated, building my own house, I have friends and family that I love and who love me.

but it wasn't always that way and I don't think it will ever truly be over. I just made a choice...and I chose to do the hard work. 

What you think is so powerful, it doesn't have to be real though, you can choose to entertain a thought. I didn't realise this for a long time, then I took me even longer to actually gain control over them. They still creep in.

 I thought getting on here and sharing  would help me and maybe, by chance help someone else

im happy to talk more about my experience. My lowest times. How I got through them. Like the rain app!! It's just an app for that plays the sound of rain, it still helps me when my mind won't stop.

How amazing that you've beaten it and are "getting there". I too have spent a long time fighting mine (bipolar, and anxiety) and have beaten the worst of mine too.

i used to be so bad i lived in my home, never going anywhere, having panic attacks even just going food shopping. My only social outlet was playing world of warcraft, and i could only hold down a part time job which stressed me out. I never had enough money, and had no friends or social life to speak of. I was extremely depressed and spent all my spare time sleeping.

i dunno why but it took me years to accept that i needed help. I guess i knew deep down that my illness was really severe, and i knew it would take a lot to beat it. I just knew. and i was scared of that. As a community champion here i often remind our members that depression warps the mind- it makes us say really unhealthy things to ourselves, and believe unhealthy thoughts.

Anywho 3 years ago life got to a point where i knew it was time to get help. I got onto medication and therapy. I also made lifestyle changes- as the anxiety got better it got easier to get new hobbies, to start making friends, to basically start leaving my home. I went to support groups, and read therapy books. My very first "therapy step" was to go the shops and buy milk- thats how bad my anxiety was.

So its 3 years later, i'm 27, and i feel like my real life is a whole new world. I have a wonderful career and still want to do more study to go further. For the first time in my life i'm able to hold down a full-time job and have a successful long term relationship which is healthy and happy.

I have so many fun hobbies that involve other people, i happily attend social events and live a normal healthy life.

Just the other week i attended a meetup group, i hadn't met any of the people there previously, i'd never been to the location before. It was something that 3 years ago i never could have dreamed in my wildest dreams.

I was slightly nervous (just a little butterfly in the tummy). But i made 2 wonderful friends there who have since become important in my life. I remember sitting there in that group of people and being SO SO grateful i'd made the decision to get help, to accept medication and therapy (and i really threw myself into the therapy). Because now i can make friends, i can go to concerts and fun events, i can have a meaningful job, and most important i can have a meaningful life.

Hope to see you share your tips with others here at beyondblue

Thank you Beltane,

your story tells me and hopefully others that there is a wonderful life to live once you take the first step. It is inspiring to hear how rich your life is and i understand how hard you have worked to get it.

Hello LPS, I love the sound of rain! I hadn't thought about apps, I have a collection of Australian sound CDs I picked up cheaply years ago. There's thunderstorm, surf at sunrise, camping by a creek, so relaxing and they go for about an hour each. I need to listen to something in bed at night, otherwise my mind races or wanders. Lately I use podcasts or audio books.