I don't know how to explain this.
For the past few years I've felt bad about my body despite being a healthy weight. I know that I am healthy, but I still want to lose weight for some reason.
In the past I've tried to exercise more and eat more healthy, and this year I've actually continued to go through with this. I told myself and my family that it was just me trying to be healthy, but people are starting to tell me I've lost weight and I feel that I am starting to get more and more out of control. I'm definitely a perfectionist which is why I don't feel like I can tell anyone I know how I'm feeling. I feel that they will just judge me.
There's a part of me that knows that I am healthy and that it's healthy to eat better and exercise more, but then I also feel that this is how many eating disorders start. I'm starting to feel guilty when I don't go for a run everyday and when I have dessert or a treat that isn't super healthy. My weight has always been quite constant no matter my lifestyle so I feel that I'm not going to suddenly loose too much weight to really be unhealthy.
I guess I'm just starting to get more worried as I missed my period for the first time in 5 years last month. I've got it back and I don't know if this is a normal thing to happen, but it's certainly not normal to me.
My school is really great, and there are definitely school counselors I can talk to about this, but I'm just scared that talking to someone means admitting that I might have a problem. I don't think it's really that serious at the moment but I'm really scared that I won't know where/how to stop. I don't want to make a big deal out of nothing though.
I don't know what to do.