Hi CaptainCab
I don't know if it's any consolation to you to say "me too", but if it is, I would like to have more meaningful friendships too. There is certainly a discomfort in always having to be the initiator, and to not feel valued in the same way you value others. In saying that, I hope you continue to make the effort, because the alternative would most likely leave you feeling more alone. Perhaps in continuing to socialise you will meet people that you connect with better than those currently.
You've mentioned you may be on the autism spectrum? Do you think that's something you might explore a bit more? I have a young nephew who has autism and I'm learning that he experiences the world quite differently. He's pretty amazing.
I wish you the best finding meaningful connections. It's certainly not easy for many of us, for a variety of reasons. You're always welcome to chat more here :)
Katy