Wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are glad that you have reached out here tonight. We can hear how overwhelmed and defeated you're feeling, but please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to support you through this confusing time.
If you feel up to it, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.
Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey.