white knight said:
My mother I suspected has BPD and I no longer see her. She never sought help and the effects of her condition on us kids was devastating. Yet both of you are seeking a support group and medical assistance. Good on you.
I hear this.It was my father not mother though.It did totally ruin my life sadly.This all came out 5-6 years ago and the clincher to it is I finally (after being alone forever) connected with a girl who a few months after meeting told me she had BPD.It did make a few things she said & did make a bit more sense.
I'm torn between staying & going.
Staying because I don't care what she has I love her anyway. ... but I love her so much that if leaving her was the best thing I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Going because I don't know if I can live with this again.As potentially selfish as that sounds
She knows a bit of my backstory but I don't know how much she fully grasps of it.We rarely talk although I think we should I feel I'm more in a role of a kind of 'safe place' where she isn't required to think or anything.I'm really not sure if I'm doing the right thing sometimes?
It's good to see Jo you managed a long lasting relationship but I do wonder if you think it'd been different if you were diagnosed when you were 20 instead? Like would you,or anyone else,even contemplate a relationship with someone knowing this? Not immediately or at the sake of your own treatment ect of course.
I'm about to turn 40 and this is the closest I've ever been to having any sort of relationship with another human being ever so it's a little bit important :)
Apologies if this reads like a "Dear Abbey' letter I'm looking for advice/guidance (beyond the usual be supportive ect) on how to deal with this. as my own anxiety is somewhat running rampant over worrying I'll completely mess it up like I did with my father by not knowing or understanding anything.