Hi Emo, I'm sorry I missed you early this morning. I was up late again, but finally had to stop & try to sleep. listening to a story helped, because the volume of the voices reading didn'fluctuate too much. I din't hear half the story, because I did get to sleep.
I'm wondering if you are able to get someone to go with you, to support you through these appointments & treatments. An official support worker, or a very good friend? I think, if I had to go through such appointments & treatments alone, I would be as daunted as you are. I am amazed the hospital can't help & find someone to be with you when you go there.
I'm sorry if you have already thought of that & don't have anyone. I'haven't read all your posts, just a few here on this thread.
I was only thinking how good it was when I last saw my GP, & I had gone there with my support worker. (paid for by NDIS) & she was able to help me, just by being there, & in practical ways as well. She'll be there when I go for tests, & I am sure I will cope better because of that.
Personally, I know if I don't know, & procrastinate, because of fear or feeling I am wasting my, & their , time, my anxiety only persists the longer I don't know. That's why now going for test. But I am definitely trying to not think too far ahead before I know anything.
Hope you can find support. I suppose you have tried to access support through various cancer support charities?