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Forums / Staying well / Night Owls (for those awake late and can't sleep)

Topic: Night Owls (for those awake late and can't sleep)

  1. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    14 August 2021

    Hi Everyone,

    The last lockdown is harder than the earlier ones for me, I'm not sure why but I find myself worrying all the time. I am barely sleeping 3 hours a night or when I'm allowed to sleep. I am reaching out because I could use some advice on what to do next so that I can hopefully get some help with my dark feelings.

    I have tried various services for someone to talk to but for different reasons I have not been able to get the support I need.

    Does anyone have any suggestions? I could really use everyone's help please. I am just so tired and overwhelmed. When can I get some help to discuss my feelings and my awful thoughts? I would just like to get better.

    Regards,

    Emo.

  2. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4153 posts
    14 August 2021 in reply to Emo

    hi Emo

    getting the right support, and finding someone who is helpful, supportive, and intuitive is hard - but not impossible. There are some good ppl out there who will listen.

    Have you tried phone support at your local triage? Public hospitals have a psychiatric team 24/7 who can talk to u if u feel unsafe. Ive called them and happy to answer any questions about what that service was like.

    there are also crises support lines related to different health concerns eg depression, anxiety, sexual assault, harmful or toxic relationships, eating disorders, and there is a line in Victoria called Friendline where you can just chat to a friendly volunteer.

    There are also resources just for women which are pretty awesome, including phone lines and financial and legal support for women.

    It is important to talk to smeone if something is nagging on ur mind, although i validate that its hard to find the right person to open up to. I have found support through the public mental health system, and also go to a support group which is excellent. It takes a few tries to find smething helpful, for sure.

  3. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    14 August 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy21,

    I really appreciate your suggestions on other ways I can get support. I know that my local hospital doesn't have anyone to help me with mental health due to budget cuts and they also don't have a social worker.

    I will try to contact Friendliness if I can access a phone during their limited hours although I think it may only help with feeling not so isolated because I can't really open up to them about my life as it can be quite confronting for people who aren't trained to deal with it.

    Thank you for replying to me as I'm feeling very overwhelmed as I'm all by myself with no one to talk to. I hope that I can return the favour for you one day. I hope your day tomorrow is all that you hope it to be. You are so truly kind.

    Regards,

    Emo.

  4. Sleepy21
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    4153 posts
    14 August 2021 in reply to Emo

    Hi Emo

    sorry to hear that the public hospital isnt so good, that sucks.

    Mental health nurses or nurses are also helpful, do they have one of those? A MH nurse really saved my life at the triage.

    Friendline has extended hours atm 10am – 8pm, 7 days a week in victoria, not sure in other places.

    It is definitely limited though and not rund th clock. social workers are so helpful, they are my favourite mental health workers, that sucks though that theres none at your hospital. At one point I was considering studying social work as I loved the way they helped ppl connect to tstuff. Thanks for ur kind wishes, hping today u are feeling a tiny bit less alone. It is not fair and not easy that it is so difficult to find someone sensitive and supportive to talk to.... I know that it is truly hard.

  5. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    19 August 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy21,

    Thank you for replying to me. It's an incredible feeling to have someone hear you and be willing to respond to you.

    I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've been in a very bad way, not just physically but emotionally. I didn't exactly ask them if they had a mental health nurse but I did ask the hospital about someone to discuss my problems with and they said that there was no one like that at the hospital so I'm on my own again trying to battle my bad feelings again.

    I don't think being so tired helps me to think straight. I'm so sorry that you still have lockdown as I've found this last lockdown the hardest. I hope things improve for yourself.

    Regards,

    Emo.

  6. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    350 posts
    26 August 2021
    Any one else struggling to sleep, going to be a long night tonight ahhhh
  7. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12322 posts
    26 August 2021 in reply to Harpbird

    Harpbird

    I stay up as long as possible but still I toss a d turn in b3d fir hrs before I sleep.

  8. Lillylane
    Valued Contributor
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    Lillylane avatar
    331 posts
    26 August 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky and Harpbird,

    I hear you! I’m also struggling a bit.

    Trying to read a bit to see if it helps me get sleepy.

    Glad to hear from you both though :)

    How was your day today?
    I kept thinking it was Friday all day.
    It was freezing cold outside here.

    LL

  9. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2755 posts
    26 August 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    l suppose a lot of you aren't sleeping alone so it's not always easy setting things up the way that works for you with two.

    But l've had an odd discovery just this last few mths since my daughters been back. l've always hated things too dark my whole life. l like to be able to see a bit if l need to . But she comes and goes and has a few friends about too so l've been shutting my bedroom door of a night , which makes my room black.

    Strangest thing , at first l hated it ,this is the first time in my life l've slept in total darkness but l'm sleeping much much better lately and actually miss the darkness of it now if l leave the door open.

    rx

  10. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    350 posts
    26 August 2021

    Hi guys,

    why is it so hard to sleep. Be calm, go to bed, close your eyes, count a million sheep, no two million sheep. Bazinga wide awake .

    ahhhhhhh

  11. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    26 August 2021 in reply to Harpbird

    ah my Harpybirdy, I have come back from the dark and into your light - and what a delight it tis, to see your crazy frog mama, with a suit case of ??? swamp she carries around, just incase her skin gets too dry, she jumps into the swamp and mails herself back to elsewhere!

    sleep, sleep, cry no more, sleep doth cry no more. I shall never sleep again, I have slept too much, gone to bed too late and arisen too late, the alarm wasn't set correctly, damn wife put it on am, when it was actually pm, and that effed up all our plans!

    oh dear oh dear I seem to have gone quite queer.

    as u can tell, I have the heater on and nice warm feet tonight - so such a delight may be somewhat frightening to those not in the know, about how such things go!

    Yes yes, I am crazy too, and I wanna come, so lets go! lol.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    350 posts
    28 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    good evening D&G

    I have never been a good sleeper and my chronic spine pain doesn’t help. So it’s Late night telly, though it’s good watching the Para Olympic Games, so inspiring.

  13. Lillylane
    Valued Contributor
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    Lillylane avatar
    331 posts
    28 August 2021

    Just wondering if anyone else has experienced sleep paralysis?

    I often did when I was younger, but not so much now. It’s more likely to happen if I fall asleep really quickly.

    I’ve learnt a couple of techniques to keep myself calm so it’s not as scary.

    Wishing everyone restful and refreshing sleep!

    LL

  14. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    28 August 2021 in reply to Lillylane

    Hi Lillylane, my experience with something that might be similar to sleep paralysis is this.

    Sometimes when In bed I feel like the quilt cover feels so heavy that i cannot lift nor move it. Like I am tied down in the bed by my own quilt and I am just stuck, awake but stuck.

    It is very weird sensation, because though I know I can move if/when I decide to move, I actually feel like I can't or shouldn't move... like somehow I am supposed to be in bed not moving.

    Is that similar to your experience or otherwise?

    love dng.

  15. Lillylane
    Valued Contributor
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    Lillylane avatar
    331 posts
    29 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Hi Dng,

    Yes, sounds similar to what I’ve experienced, except I can’t move even if I try to.

    When it happens, it seems as though I’m awake and aware of my surroundings but I can’t move at all. It’s very strange.

    If I can think of this early on, it helps - I just keep repeating “I know what this is. It’s just sleep paralysis”. This seems to help prevent me panicking and then I’m able to just wait until I wake up fully.

    Thanks for sharing,

    LL

  16. Nadie
    Nadie avatar
    2 posts
    21 October 2021

    Worst birthday ever. No one wanted to meet up. Grew up with abusive father, family dont talk to me. No job,no money,disability causes constant back pain,no will to do anything,cant sleep,lonely,divorced. No one cares. Someone asks ruok and if you tell them your not they dont really want to know so i hide it. This is only a bit of what my life is like. Life sucks. Just want to talk to someone.

    Probably no one here.

  17. Nadie
    Nadie avatar
    2 posts
    21 October 2021
    Silly for getting on here. Will take to long. Not worth going on. Ill just go
  18. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5906 posts
    21 October 2021 in reply to Nadie
    Dear Nadie
    We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can get overwhelming. We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

    Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we're worried about you. 
    We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
    Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
     
    Sophie
  19. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    350 posts
    21 October 2021 in reply to Nadie

    Hi Nadie,

    chronic pain keeps me up every night. So recliner is normally where I stay.
    it’s true those that ask r u ok, don’t normally really want you to say well no I am not ok ,

    I hope you find sleep some time tonight, well now it’s this morning

  20. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    894 posts
    22 October 2021 in reply to Nadie

    Hi Nadie,

    I found you here. 🐱& although I need to sleep (or pretend to), I feel glad I stayed up so late & have found you. If you'd like to talk, please, be a little patient, & I'll check back and read anything you have to say. It's hard to have a real-time conversation here. So, if you need to talk to someone now, follow Sophie_M's advice.

    I'm sorry you had a rotten Birthday. I used to have those, until I decided to give myself a Birthday treat, buy my own gift each year, too. This year I didn't get to do what I planned, but instead, one of my community workers went a little beyond her role, & took me to play with her Labrador puppies, all 7 of them! It was great. Otherwise, I'd've done nothing & would have been miserable.

    I have problems getting to sleep, too, no matter how tired I am. Pain is just one problem. Eventually things settle down (usually). I still try all my old techniques. I am so easily disturbed by discomfort. I've lost track of time. It is now later than I thought. Really I must leave it here for now...

    mmMekitty

  21. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    9 November 2021

    Hi Everyone,

    I hope everyone has been as well as can be expected during these trying times. I'm sorry I haven't been on the forum for a little while as I've been very sick which is why I'm reaching out tonight.

    I guess most people will be sleeping but I'm too scared to sleep. I'm supposed to have more medical tests tomorrow to discover where else the cancer has spread and what treatment they will try this time if any.

    I'm thinking of cancelling my appointment as I just can't cope with anymore bad news. I will cancel the appointment as I'm just scared. I'm shaking just thinking about it, I just want my mind to stop going. I just want everything to stop.

    I feel dead inside, too numb to process anything else. I'd better go.

    Regards,

    Emo.


  22. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    894 posts
    9 November 2021 in reply to Emo

    Hi Emo, I'm sorry I missed you early this morning. I was up late again, but finally had to stop & try to sleep. listening to a story helped, because the volume of the voices reading didn'fluctuate too much. I din't hear half the story, because I did get to sleep.

    I'm wondering if you are able to get someone to go with you, to support you through these appointments & treatments. An official support worker, or a very good friend? I think, if I had to go through such appointments & treatments alone, I would be as daunted as you are. I am amazed the hospital can't help & find someone to be with you when you go there.

    I'm sorry if you have already thought of that & don't have anyone. I'haven't read all your posts, just a few here on this thread.

    I was only thinking how good it was when I last saw my GP, & I had gone there with my support worker. (paid for by NDIS) & she was able to help me, just by being there, & in practical ways as well. She'll be there when I go for tests, & I am sure I will cope better because of that.

    Personally, I know if I don't know, & procrastinate, because of fear or feeling I am wasting my, & their , time, my anxiety only persists the longer I don't know. That's why now going for test. But I am definitely trying to not think too far ahead before I know anything.

    Hope you can find support. I suppose you have tried to access support through various cancer support charities?

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5830 posts
    9 November 2021 in reply to Emo
    Hi Emo I really feel your pain and your battle with cancer.I wish I could take the cancer away for you.I can offer you a virtue hug and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
    1 person found this helpful
  24. Yorke/Yorke
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Yorke/Yorke avatar
    27 posts
    10 November 2021 in reply to Emo
    My thoughts are with you Emo regardless of whether or not you chose to go to the appt. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through but hope you find some comfort on here
  25. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    16 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi mmMekitty,

    Thank you so much for your kind words and your helpful suggestions on ways I could get support, I really appreciate it. My situation is complicated as my husband is an abusive man who doesn't allow me to reach out to others. Just for me to go to appointments requires me to beg for days to go and get help. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

    I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to you, I've been going through some pretty gruelling tests and minor procedures. Also please don't apologise for not replying back to me that night as I'm glad that you were able to get to sleep. This thread is supposed to help with that so I'm glad you had a restful night of sleep.

    I'm sorry this is a short reply but I'm very sore and I need some rest so I'd better go. I hope to be able to reply to the other kind people who have reached out to me and offered their support but I might have to do it tomorrow.

    Please take care and stay safe.

    Regards,

    Emo.

  26. mmMekitty
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    894 posts
    16 November 2021 in reply to Emo

    Hi Emo,

    No need for apologies.

    I need to ask you, are you safe? From what you said, I am concerned for your welfare. The man has no right to stop you getting medical care. I m appaled he'd even try. I think, as difficult as it will be,I think it's time to consider phoning Respect, 1800 737 732 or 000 if you are in immediate danger .

    mmMekitty

  27. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5906 posts
    16 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty
    Hi Emo, 

    We are incredibly sorry t hear about what you are going through. Partner violence is never ok and it is never your fault. As mmmMekitty has said, 1800 RECPECT (1300 737 732) are a wonderful, caring and understanding resource for you to call whenever you feel like you need support. 

    We also agree that if you ever feel unsafe you should call 000 striaght away. 

    We have reached out to you privately as well to check in and offer support. Thank you to the community for the care and support you have offered as well. 

    Kind regards,  Sophie M
  28. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12322 posts
    16 November 2021 in reply to Emo

    Emo we are listening to you.

    Many people have followed your post for some time and they may read and not post. We are all thinking of you and admire you determination.

    I am sorry you have health challenges that involve gruelling tests.

    As Sophie and others have explained there is help but I realise accessing itbis very difficult for you.

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