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Forums / Staying well / Not Exactly Sure How I'm Feeling

Topic: Not Exactly Sure How I'm Feeling

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Rickdawg
    Rickdawg  avatar
    15 posts
    30 December 2020

    Hello everyone

    I am new to this website and thought I would make a thread. I am 18 years old and just finished year 12 and plan to go to university next year. I have never dealt with depression or anxiety, at least I think. I have also never done anything bad to myself and don't ever plan to. I want to make this post because sometimes my head can think about a lot of things and typically overthink situations. I am a very sensitive person and get hurt/happy easily and believe I have a very good read on other people's emotions, thus I gauge my actions and what I say to never make people I am talking to upset, but I think that is just being considerate. Being 18, I don't think I have experienced most things, people, my age would have. The main one for me is a proper relationship, I have had one, but it was when I was 13 so it wasn't really proper, throughout the end of October to the start of December I had started talking to someone and it was really good, it was long distance, however, but I still went and saw her once and stayed with her for 3 days and it was great. Unfortunately at the start of December something had just happened with her, and I'm not sure what it was, but long story short we have stopped talking. This person made me feel so accepted and comfortable with myself and my quirks as she was accepting of them, so when it all fell apart I plunged into a very deep sadness for a few days, but luckily I spent time with my friends that live here, as well as my friends that lived in Sydney from when I used to live there, so that helped a lot. I know it may seem like a minor issue, compared to other people going through much worse things, I just wanted to make this post to let it off my chest. I typically have an optimistic and fruitful view on life, which helps me to not get sad easily, I also have good distractions such as watching youtube videos or playing games which help me. I am not 'sad' I don't think, but for a long time I have just been, I guess you could call it going with the flow, and just going through life as it goes without really feeling anything. I think a negative trait I have is liking affection and love so much (which isn't negative but in this context it may be), thus I rely on others for happiness a lot, and usually don't find it in myself. I have very good friends and a supportive family but still feel lonely, I hope going to university and moving next year I have the opportunity to meet people or someone new! Thanks all! :)

    2 people found this helpful
  2. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    31 December 2020 in reply to Rickdawg

    Hey Rickdawg

    Welcome to the forums (again) and I hope you find this space safe and supportive.

    I see you've found the Staying Well section and hope you can get alot out of those!

    So what's going on?

    Is it this in a nutshell?
    - you finished school (BIG one)
    - your first love and you broke up (another BIG one)
    - you hope to get into Uni (yep BIG one)
    - you're feeling a bit "low" (sorry to hear but logical considering)
    - you could be moving to go to Uni (HUGE too).

    You sound like a really kind and considerate young man. Clearly with that and the other opportunities just burgeoning on the horizon you have a LOT going for you too.

    I'm so glad to hear you have some friends you can hand out with!

    Tbh I think it's normal that you feel lonely and a bit low from time to time with what's happened and what's about to happen (we hope ie Uni).

    I mentioned that I have LOTS of 18yo sons lol and they're gorgeous and going through alot of what you describe. They're only in Year 11 atm so the rest is yet to come.

    Still that doesn't make ME an expert in being an 18yo boy!

    TBH I think it's a really difficult time in this Historical moment for boys (and girls) your age. So much has changed just in my life time around the "societal expectations" of young people, differently for each gender.

    I know FOR SURE that Social Media is a HUGE negative contributing to the "always happy and incredibly beautiful" image.

    It's not real we know that. I hope you do too.

    If you have Netflix then you may benefit from watching Brene Brown's "The Call to Courage".
    She's a researcher and found (much to her dismay and sending her to a therapist herself lol for 8y) that you acknowledge your own vulnerability to have courage. The 2 are inseparable. You need one to have the other.

    Boys / men are STILL expected "to be brave" 24/7. Either within themselves bec of society or just bec of society. It's not right nor fair. Not even human lol.
    Have a watch, you might like the story of the young man who told his gf that he loved her BECAUSE of Brene Brown's work and was dumped on the spot!

    Breakups? well I have LOTS of experience there!

    It stinks lol.
    Nurse your heart.
    Guard your heart.
    Practice self-care.
    Do fun things.

    We'll be here throughout your journey.
    Hope you can pop back to your thread and let us know how you're going!

    I'm looking forward to hearing about it.

    EMxxxx

  3. Rickdawg
    Rickdawg  avatar
    15 posts
    31 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Thanks for you reply it means a lot! :)

    You are pretty much correct, she wasn’t my first love in fact I did not even know how for too long we just clicked very well, I had a relationship for nearly a year in year 7 but it was year 7 so it was not very ‘real’

    Most of this stuff is probably normal teenage stuff I am just a very sensitive individual who likes to express my emotions a lot rather than bottle them or I will become upset. Thank you for the support though I really do appreciate it, I will check the netflix thing out! Happy new years Em

    1 person found this helpful
  4. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    31 December 2020 in reply to Rickdawg

    Happy New Year's to you too!

    It's gonna be a BIG one for you! Woohoo! lol.

    Yeah, pretty normal teenage stuff is one way of putting it but it doesn't mean it's easy by no stretch.

    You seem to know yourself pretty well and if you already know you're a sensitive person then that knowledge will help you alot.

    We talk quite a bit about being sensitive here! The forums are packed with very sensitive and empathic people.

    Being sensitive isn't easy in the society we live in.

    EM

  5. Rickdawg
    Rickdawg  avatar
    15 posts
    31 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    That last point is very true, that’s why these forums are good as sensitive people get to discuss with each other, it is often times hard to find others in our lives that are like that.

    I will be spending time with my friend group at my friends house for NYE which will be good, what plans do you have?

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