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Forums / Staying well / OVER 30 AND MY LIFE GOALS ARE A SHAMBLES - DOES IT MATTER?

Topic: OVER 30 AND MY LIFE GOALS ARE A SHAMBLES - DOES IT MATTER?

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. The Bro
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    203 posts
    9 November 2021

    Hi everyone

    Through my daughter's friends I am hearing more about how unsettled they are with what they see as lack of progress in their lives.

    In their 30's - their career, marriage, house, kids etc have just not where they are 'meant to be'.

    Does it matter? I read recently about a successful person who, when reaching 30, had achieved debt, divorce and lack of direction. So she reacted by partying her life away for a few years, then on reaching 40, 'blew up' her life and started again.

    20 years later, she has never been happier. Happy relationship, family, financial comfort, going places and in disbelief that it all happened!

    You see, society has this way of judging us by our milestones, all set into life stages. Job, marriage, baby, (big) house, flash car, overseas holidays and so on. But who gives a rats about those milestones - are they really weights around our necks?

    Some of us achieve them, others may take longer, others change them as they get older. Others don't have milestones at all.

    Who cares? Let's just call these guys 'Late Bloomers'.

    I was one of those and am amazed at how life changes and what you can effortlessly achieve once you get past the mid 30's.

    Perhaps we should say goodbye to milestones and run our own race. Do life at your own pace and believe the best in life is certainly yet to come!

    I would love to hear views of forum members who have yet to hit 30, and those who are well past it.

    Long live the prime of life and letting things happen when they are ready!

    All the best. The Bro

  2. HappyHelper88
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    9 November 2021 in reply to The Bro

    Hey The Bro, Thankyou for sharing!

    I definetly feel like times have changed over generations and people are not following a "normal" life plan as what was previously done due to changes in society??

    you said "meant to be" right? People are just doing things at their own pace it used to be job, house, car, married, kids etc people don't follow a set plan anymore

    I find that a life plan actually depends on the individual

    Don't compare life progress to others, everyone is on a different path with different timing'

    I agree with everything you have mentioned about society judging us on milestones, I have seen peoples lives peak in career and other things etc in late 30s-40s we all have a different path!

    I wouldn't call myself a late bloomer but I was last for everything because I was on a different Path and I am satisfied with my Progress

    I am yet to hit 30......I'm 25 and I didn't follow the general societal path at first I strayed for 5-6 years and did things backwards and still ended up at the same place as everyone else but with more life experience


    :)

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Miz
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    9 November 2021 in reply to The Bro

    Hey TheBro,

    Thanks for sharing! Such a refreshing perspective on an issue that I'm certain affects us all. As a young person under 30 I definitely feel a lot of pressure to hit those milestones - especially anything related to careers there seems to be heaps of pressure on young people to be successful and do more than anyone before them. I agree that you can take your own path though! For me, the most interesting people I've met have had the most life experience which means taking things at your own pace and following what you like to do!

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Guest_206
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    90 posts
    9 November 2021 in reply to The Bro

    Hi there The Bro,

    Thanks for your interesting post. There's so many things to unpack here. The idea of "progress", "success" "achievement" and according to whom? Why is there a race? Why do we have to achieve milestones? I personally never gravitated or was interested in the institution of marriage and this has never been an event in my life. Children have also not ended up being a part of my life except in the role of nephews (whom I adore).

    I think for me, rather than goals, success and achievement, life is about values based living. Am I seeking connections that improve my wellbeing? Am I contributing to a better world in some small way?

    And I am in my late 30's.

    Xg

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Petal22
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    2136 posts
    9 November 2021 in reply to The Bro

    Hi The Bro,

    Great topic! Thanks

    I believe everything happens when it’s supposed to happen it has no certain time.

    I believe my life has been mapped out in the way it should be.

    I use to wonder why things weren’t happening when I wanted them to happen….. or why certain things were happening to me?

    Now I can take a step back and see my path …….. I can see we’re everything was leading me to up until this point and it’s a blessing.

    My advice is never rush anything……. What’s meant to be for you always will be. ❤️🙏

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Guest_1643
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    4854 posts
    9 November 2021

    Beautiful post

    Society does Noojee any favours by treating twenties like time to party and 30 as times to build Ur family..,,

    Judt adds pressure in Ur twenties and theories and presents ppl fro, enjoying their life,

    I freak out when ppl call me lady

    Not a girl any more

    Today a woman was talking about me, as the lady , when I waited for an appointment

    Tbh, I don't want to be either

    It's like Ur a kid, pros, u feel desired or admired for youth, you feel carefree and like u have no pressure to grow up. Cons, major cons, no one takes you seriously, you get overlooked at work, ppl walk all over u....

    Then as u get a lil older a lil wiser, pros, you can assert yourself now, you're self assured, know Ur likes and dislikes, cons, ppl assume Ur past certain things, like having fun, partying, etc.

    Either way Ur put in some box and shamed if u venture out.

    I would rather be ageless, independent and happy

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Banksy92
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    9 November 2021

    Totally agree, there is no 'right way' to do life and from what I can see the traditional milestones are ever evolving anyway. It's definitely easy to get swept up in other people's lives though... Comparing ourselves to others when they reach certain points of life (kids, marriage, career etc) I've been guilty of it.

    I think self compassion is so important, when we feel this way. Being kind to ourselves, celebrating our own wins and progress but most importantly reminding ourselves that we are on the right path for US, and the grass always looks greener on the other side.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. The Bro
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    11 November 2021 in reply to Petal22

    Hi Petal22

    Thanks for your comments! Yes it's like the saying 'The teacher will arrive when the student is ready' isn't it?

    I am enjoying stuff now that I thought about trying years ago but was nowhere near ready.

    Also like that song 'Ke sera sera' !

    Enjoy life, The Bro

    1 person found this helpful
  9. The Bro
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    11 November 2021 in reply to Guest_206

    Hi Guest_206 and thanks for your comments.

    Values based living, connections that improve your own wellbeing, contributing to the world.

    Now those are just awesome life goals - I might take those on board too!

    All the best, The Bro

  10. TunnelVision
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    18 posts
    13 November 2021 in reply to The Bro

    I dunno about this one. I think it is a bit of a myth that one day you'll just get all your stuff sorted and everything will turn out ok.

    I am 50 and I am still trying to sort mine out!

    1 person found this helpful

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