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Forums / Staying well / Self harm and anxiety/depression: think long and hard about the pain you inflict on yourself

Topic: Self harm and anxiety/depression: think long and hard about the pain you inflict on yourself

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Carl, just Carl
    Carl,  just Carl avatar
    15 posts
    15 April 2015

    I know that there are a lot of people that fall into the depression pit and seek some relief through self harm.

    I was one of those people, after the third major traumatic event in my life, I felt overloaded with grief, depression, guilt and a whole heap of other foul feelings.

    I thought that injuring myself would relieve the pain. It seemed to help for a while.  I escalated to piercings and tattoos. I had 18 piercings in just about anything that you could poke a hole through and ended up with about 20 tattoos of various sizes on my arms and legs. I loathe the tattoos and I've removed all of the piercings but some still cause leaks were leaks shouldn't be.

    People that loved me could see I was falling to bits and begged me to get help. I thought I knew better and continued hurting myself. When I finally saw sense, or was made to see it, I got help from some very dedicated people, professionals and family included.

    I deeply regret many things I did during that very dark time, my wife stood by me and weathered some terrible storms,  I didn't abuse her directly, but my selfish behavior made the life of someone that would do anything for me miserable.

    If you love someone, seeing them slowly falling apart hurts as much as a physical blow. I know this to be true too. Call it karma or payback, or what you will, but I got a little taste of watching one of our kids start on the road to self destruction. He pulled through and has held down a very good job now for 15 years, has a beautiful partner and 4 heartbreakingly cute little kids. He asked for help and we made sure he got it.

    Point of all this?

    Think long and hard about the pain you inflict on yourself before doing anything stupid. I think we become so self absorbed when we're in the pit that the pain we cause to others just doesn't register with us. That, at least was my case.

    Be kind to yourself and those that love you.

    Seek help. <--------You'll see that on everything I've posted or will post. It is the best advice anyone can give you.

    2 people found this helpful
  2. JessF
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    JessF avatar
    1548 posts
    21 April 2015 in reply to Carl, just Carl

    Hello Carl, I do believe that self harm feelings are a way of us 'transferring' pain - traumatic and turbulent feelings in the mind can be so overwhelming, and what's more we can't see them. By self harming, it transfers that into something we can see, and because our brains prioritise, all our concentration shifts to the physical pain.  For anyone who hasn't self harmed before, just think back to whenever you've stubbed your toe or fallen over - in the moment it happens, everything goes out of your mind and all that you can concentrate on is the physical pain.

    The problem is of course that in self harm,ing we literally destroy ourselves. It's not a healthy way of coping, and while you may get temporary relief, it's the same as using drink or drugs to mask your problems.

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