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Forums / Staying well / Self-soothing techniques and getting more secure

Topic: Self-soothing techniques and getting more secure

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. ReeCar123
    ReeCar123 avatar
    28 posts
    4 July 2020

    Hello Everyone,

    I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We separated (still getting along very well and both working on our past wounds) and since then, I feel I have achieved quite a lot in getting more aware, secure and I am better able to self-soothe to get myself out of ruminating. However, I am aware that I still have work to do, especially to manifest any good techniques that soothe the anxiety and counteract the unhelpful patterns. I am very keen to continue my work to raise myself to a more secure level based on my awareness, knowledge and learned new techniques. So I am very interested in understanding what other techniques there are that have helped you.

    For example, I read books like "The Happiness Trap" which employs ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). I like that and am trying to use the techniques from ACT. I have also built a stronger foundation for myself, so started new hobbies, applied for volunteering, etc. to build a good life for myself. All these things have helped me reach a new level and I have found myself speaking up for my own needs more - a thing I did not do well in the past due to fears of being rejected or abandoned. I can see the change and I really want to keep it going. What else can I try and become aware of so that I can become stronger and reduce the risk of losing myself again in the anxiety levels I used to have? I read my journals from a year ago when my relationship was extremely triggering. It was a huge eye opener and I never want to hand over so much control again. I want to stay on the good path now. Thank you in advance. :)

    1 person found this helpful
  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    5750 posts
    4 July 2020 in reply to ReeCar123
    Hi. The happiness trap is a good book. I have a copy of it myself. Many excellent ideas in it.

    When I started seeing a psychologist I was told to get a couple of apps on my phone. One of these has games in it that act as distractions. I still use it today. It helps me.
  3. Blue Elmo
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Blue Elmo avatar
    11 posts
    5 July 2020
    My self-soothing technique, whenever I used to get stressed or anxious, was to just sleep. I realized it wasn't the healthiest strategy to run from my problems so now I tend to reach out to my SO for some comfort. Additionally playing games and turning my mind off is always a great way to relax and calm myself.

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