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Forums / Staying well / So, how was your day?

Topic: So, how was your day?

  1. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    4 March 2015

    I've had a busy kind of day that went very well. I have managed to work, go for a swim, had lunch in a park, enjoyed a coffee and biscuits with a client and looked at the second hand tent we have just bought ourselves.

    I went down to the chook house to check on my "ladies" and had a chat with them while they clucked away waiting for me to feed them. I also had a look to see where we can set the tent up in the garden this weekend to try it out. I'm already thinking of places nearby where we can go camping. I will also ask my sister and nieces if they would like to join me sometime.

    Please feel free to contribute and share how you have spent your day.

    Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

  2. JessF
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    JessF avatar
    1548 posts
    5 March 2015 in reply to Doolhof
    Well, I had a hearing assessment and unfortunately it is time for me to get a hearing aid. Age catching up with me, I guess. It's very expensive to get one, but I am looking forward to being able to hear things better, but at the same time perhaps feeling a little niggly depression about my faculties declining.  It's silly, really, I am in very good health otherwise.  It's just the little reminders that nothing lasts forever.
  3. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    5 March 2015 in reply to JessF

    Hi JessF,

    Yes it is a little upsetting when we realise we are not as young and healthy as we once were. Ha. Ha.

    I used to work with children. One girl of 10 made a run for it from the centre I was working in and I was told to chase after her! I ended up calling out to her and asking her to please stop as I was not a young person and I was really exhausted. She felt sorry for me and stopped.

    I hope you are able to get a decent hearing aid and you will be able to enjoy all of the wonderful and delightful sounds you have been missing out on.

    Today I enjoyed driving around in the countryside for work and was so thankful my new glasses are providing me with good vision. Just to see the depth in a tree, the colours of the earth, the sheep in the paddocks, the clouds in the sky, it is such a pleasure.

    Yes, we all get older, things stop working or they work too well and cause problems! Ha. Ha. All the best with the hearing aids!

    Cheers, from Mrs. Dools

     

  4. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    6 March 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Today I managed to get all of the washing done and did a little bit in the garden before I went to work.

    One of my jobs today included assisting a person to clean out their cupboards. I worked really hard to get as much done as I could in the allotted time, but felt like I received no recognition for the hard job I performed.

    I was a bit miffed at first, when I realised this person never seems to appreciate anything I do for them. Then I thought to myself, does it really matter if they don't show any appreciation? No, it does not.

    As long as I am satisfied with the work I have managed to do, I can stand tall with my head high and be proud of my effort. If I was to do a half hearted effort next time, I would not feel good about myself.

    Self esteem and self appreciation is something I can do for myself!

    I don't need to rely on other people's praise for me to feel good about myself.

    From Mrs. Dools

  5. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    7 March 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Feeling down and knew l would be spending the day alone.

    l gave my lounge room a good tidy and clean, it's looking good. Also gave my garden a good soaking.

    Nice to only focus on the good things.

  6. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    7 March 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Hi Hopefulseeking,

    Great of you to contribute here! It is wonderful that even though you were feeling down you were still able to achieve something!

    I appreciate when I can find the time and energy to clean the house and work in the garden. I spent quite a bit of time cleaning part of the garden today and watering. That section now looks so much better!

    Tonight I am going to sleep in the second hand tent we just bought ourselves! Hopefully the air mattress will stay up all night, or else I might end up back in the house! Ha. Ha. I have no idea if I will get much sleep or not! Time will tell.

    Hope you have a nice day tomorrow!

    Cheers, from Mrs. Dools 

     

  7. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    12 March 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs Dools,

    How did your sleep out go in the tent, hope it didn't rain. Did your mattress stay up or go flat?

    l work very hard at keeping busy and not only occupying my day by trying to achieve something. I volunteer twice a week at a local community centre and have a couple of groups plus catching up with friends. All this is a strategy or coping mechanism. Some times l really have to push myself to go out, most of the time I manage to.

    Unfortunately I am struggling badly but will not give into the depression anxiety and ptsd.

    l too love it when I get an energy boost and can manage to clean and tidy my unit. For me an untidy place is an indication l am not coping to well.

    The weekend is nearly here, don't have much on so to help cope l am going to the movies. Properly see The Second Best Marigold Hotel.

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend Mrs Dools

    Hugs

    Anne

  8. Chloekat84
    Chloekat84 avatar
    253 posts
    14 March 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking
    Thought I would contribute to this discussion. My day was kinda average but more on the down side. Woke up with horrible anxiety and restless legs which lasted all morning so was kinda hard looking after my daughter. When she went down for nap I did as well. My sister tried texting me to come over with her son to play with my daughter but I didn't hear the fone because of being asleep and when I woke it was too late in the day for the catch up. When my daughter went to bed I managed to waater the back gardern as it really needed it. Half if not nearly all my flowers and plants are dead as of me not watering them. Another job that needs to be done but is too overwhelming for me to do is weeding so im going to call someone to do that for me. I relaxed this evening with a few movies on tv and going to go to sleep soon. Hope others had a bit better day than I did.
  9. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    16 March 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Dear Anne,

    Hi and thanks for your lovely message. I decided to get away for a weekend and headed to the beach. I stayed in a cabin in a caravan park. It was far too hot here to have stayed in the tent, I would have cooked! Ha. Ha.

    I did sleep in the tent the previous weekend, well at least I tried to sleep. Yes, the air mattress did go down, so I was sleeping on nothing in the end. But it was fun. I had no idea what time it was so kept on dozing. In the end my husband came down at 9.30 to make sure I was okay!

    I feel totally revitalised after my weekend at the beach. I enjoyed swimming, paddling and having a picnic dinner on the beach watching the sun set.

    My husband and I have both been battling with depression, stress and anxiety, so a weekend apart did us both some good. He dislikes the beach immensely and is happy for me to holiday there by myself.

    A man on the street even complimented me about my hat, so that made my day!

    Hope you find ways to keep on top of all you are dealing with.

    Cheers for now, from Mrs. Dools

     

     

  10. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    16 March 2015 in reply to Chloekat84

    Hi Chloe,

    It is great you have added your story here regarding your day. I hope you have a better one today! Sometimes it is important to go and have a nap when you are able to, it can be so refreshing.

    I do understand what you wrote about the garden, for me it can feel too overwhelming at times to just go out the door, let alone think about what needs to be done out there.

    But when I am in the garden, I am so relaxed and I am so very thankful for where we live. Some places in the world are just like open sewers, are full or rubbish and junk and are putrid. For me, to have a garden, no matter how taxing it is on my energy at times, is such a blessing.

    I hope you are able to get help with your garden so you can enjoy and appreciate it more.

    I also hope you have many wonderful play dates with your nephew. I was at the beach on the weekend and loved watching the enjoyment of the children's faces as they played at the beach.

    Have a great day, cheers to you from Mrs. Dools

     

  11. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    17 March 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs Dools,

    Sorry to hear your mattress went flat, sounds funny but I bet it wasn't.

    l love the beach to, don't get there very often. Mum lives near the beach and I am going to visit her over Easter so will make it a point to go and have a paddle.

    What a lovely thing for that man to do, complement you on your hat.

    l'm not having a good time lately, feeling very down and I am so tired of being this way. I have depression, dysthymia, anxiety, PTSD. It seems never ending but I keep hanging on.

    Think of me next time you go to the beach.

    Bye Mrs Dools

  12. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    25 March 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Hi Anne,

    Sorry I haven't gotten back to you for ages, I haven't been spending a lot of time on the forums lately as my husband has been really quite low. Thankfully he is feeling a bit better now.

    He spends a lot of time just sitting around at home as he is presently unemployed, so I have dragged him out of the house a few times.

    We went for a walk in a National Park and then had a picnic. It was a great chance to chat and for him to be out of the house and getting some exercise. I also took him to the movies and for a walk around a shopping centre as it was a hot day here.

    Tonight we are going to start a jigsaw puzzle. It helps me immensely to be distracted and to try different things, so I am hoping these experience3s will help my husband as well.

    Just breaking with routine can help. I hope you can find different ways to make all of your issues seem less invasive.

    Yes, it was funny when the mattress went down. I did put the torch on and pump the mattress up again once during the night!

    I hope you do manage to get to the beach when you visit your Mum.

    Now the fire season is almost over I am hoping to go camping in a National Park by myself or with my sister and niece.

    Thinking of you and hoping you are doing okay.

    Cheers, from Mrs. Dools

     

  13. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    30 March 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs Dools,

    Sorry to hear your hubby is feeling down, we all know how that feels. Sounds like you are doing some nice things for the both of you, well done.

    I do like Jigsaw puzzles but I live in a flat and don't have the room to set one up and leave it their. I do keep busy with volunteer work and other stuff but the blues never seem far away.

    My latest project is to revamp my unit, put things in it for me, colors, posters, paintings that I like.  I have removed all photos that were displayed on the wall, too many sad memories and that alone has lifted the vibes in the room. I'm not a decorator so is a difficult task, taking my time and only picking things that jump out at me. My psychologist suggested it to remove sadness from my unit.

    The beach will be next weekend, I will do my best. It will be a troubled time as I have a brother with bi-polar and was my childhood abuser, he doesn't remember the abuse so often  I see him a mum's which makes it difficult for me.  It's complicated but I try my best not to let him get to me but it's hard, extremely hard.

    My great constant sadness sits on my shoulder, never far away no matter what I do or how I try to challenge it, I suppose many here on BB feel the same.  My psychologist and psychiatrist are both trying there best, I am a challenge to my psychiatrist which is why I am seeing a psychologist at her request. I do what is asked of me in an effort to feel better but at times feel I will never get there then at other times feel like I have a glimmer of hope.  All very depressing in its sell.

    Anyway enough.

    I hope you are travelling well Mrs Dools and thank you for answering my post, most appreciated.

    Hugs to you

    Anne

  14. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    1 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Yesterday I had a lovely day! I had three clients to assist. I had made an Easter gift for my ladies, a little bright yellow chicken made from felt in a "nest" I plaited and sewed together with some Easter Eggs in the nest. I also had some fresh hen's eggs in an Easter bag for them.

    One of my ladies loves anything to do with chooks so she was delighted with the home made chicken in a nest. You would have thought I had given her a million dollars! She had a huge smile on her face!

    It made my day to see how such a small gesture meant so much to these ladies!

     

  15. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    1 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Dear Anne,

    Hi. I like the idea of re-doing your flat over to make it feel more comfortable and welcoming. Sometimes I like to buy myself some flowers and put them on the table and that helps to brighten up our place.

    You can find so many wonderful things in Second Hand shops so you don't always have to spend a fortune. A coat of paint or varnish can change and improve things as well.

    I am so very sorry to read about the part your brother played in your life. That is so tragic. I had a girlfriend who had the same thing happen to her, only her brother seemed very proud of what he had done.

    It must be difficult for you to see your brother now. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. Is it possible in some way to distance your memory of him when you were younger to the person he is now? Like make him two different people? I am not sure if that would help or not.

    Have you ever written or drawn about how you are feeling? Is that something that has been suggested to you? Recently I have been writing about the loss of our babies and all the stuff that happened around those times, and to me it is like a huge black cloud has been lifted from me.

    It is wonderful you have your volunteer work! Where do you go and what do you do if you don't mind me asking.

    Regarding jigsaw puzzles, I remember years ago seeing a cloth like a large piece of felt that you could make your puzzle on and then roll it up on the cloth when you needed the table for something else.

    Some libraries I have been to also have jigsaw puzzles laid out on tables for people to add to.

    Next time you are at the beach, collect some shells if there are any and put them in a jar of water at home. I have some in a place away from the light (so they don't go all green!) and they look lovely.

    All the best with your unit changes! I hope you find some wonderful things to add to your home!

    Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools 

     

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    2 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Morning Mrs Dools

    You sound like you have a very caring nature to make something special for your clients.  They must feel privilidged to have you attending to them.

    Thank you, I never thought of looking around second hand shops for knic knacs must do so.

    My brothers 'supposidly' has no memory of doing anything so I will never get closure over it, I am trying to work though this issue but have been for many years with not much success.

    I have tried to write and stuff but with little success. I look at him now and think he is an old man but when he comes near me or reaches over for a hug my insides go to mush.

    I volunteer at a local community centre, I help two days a week, one day on the reception desk and the other days doing computer work or anyother job.  I make up and give out food parcels, am involved in establishlishling a group for women who have been abused.  I interview clients for NILS loans (Non Interset Free Loans). do what ever is asked really.  Satisfing work.

    Yeah I have heard of that jigsaw mat, must look for one. I make cards as a hobby which can be an involved exercise.

    Collecting shells never thought of that, is would look nice in a clear glass container, will do that.

    I am doing my best to do up my unit but finding it an overwhelming thing to do, am trying to push though this. 

    My depression/anxiety is dogging me and no matter what I do nothing seems to help, how do you and others cope.

    Thanks for keeping in contact with me, it helps.

    Have a happy easter.

    Anne

  17. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    4 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Dear Anne,

    Thanks for your contact as well. All of the things you do at the centre are very inspiring. There must be so many people who benefit from all that you do for them.

    Regarding the second hand shops, some of them have some real treasures in them. Some Churches have sales as well where you can also pick up some wonderful bargains.

    Depression can be a difficult thing to handle. When I am feeling too overwhelmed, I make a list of the things I feel I really need to do and decided to do one of those jobs. Then I cross that off and if I have the energy I will tackle something else.

    If it all becomes too much I go out and water the garden and have some time to myself, read a book, phone a friend, colour in, do a Sudoku puzzle or something to distract my mind.

    With your unit, just tackle one little section at a time. Don't think you need to do it all this week. It may take you a while to find the things that you want in it. Think of it as an ongoing project...much like my garden!

    I'm not sure what to suggest with your brother. I have heard that people are able to block out sections of their lives, it would be a very good thing to learn how to do sometimes!

    I'm wondering if you may be able to have a sense of forgiveness in all of this. I know you will never be able to forget, but maybe a little forgiveness will help. Forgive the evil in your brother at that time and maybe you may need a sense of forgiveness for yourself.

    Even though none of what happened was your fault, our minds can twist things and make us feel guilty and shame when there is no reason for it.

    I felt guilty for years over the deaths of our stillborn babies, thinking it was somehow my fault and I deserved it. Once I learnt to forgive myself then I was able to let go of some of the pain.

    I hope that makes sense to you.

    I too wish you a happy Easter. I will be attending a dawn service Easter Sunday and will have one of my nieces sleeping over Saturday night and another one is joining us for lunch on Sunday. So I am so looking forward to the time with them.

    Cheers for now and best wishes for a brighter day!

    From Mrs. Dools

     

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    5 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Happy Easter Mrs Dools,

    Thank you for your kindness, I do find volunteering worthy but there are days where I wish I was somewhere else but try to remind myself I am helping myself as well as others by being there.

    There is a second hand shop just down the road, can't wait till they open after the holidays to go and see what treasures I can find. I am taking the task of redoing my unit slow, it was just so overwhelming I had to slow down otherwise I would have given up.

    We have Sudoku puzzles in common, I love them they can be a good distraction, especially the real hard ones.  I find I don't have the concentration to read a book so stick to things that are short like puzzles.

    Don't worry blocking things out isn't as hard as it seems, I have scattered memories of childhood because I have blocked out so much and this can be frustrating at times especially at family reunions as I have to keep saying I don't remember that. 

    I have tried to forgive and have sort of but this weekend around my brother reminds me that he still gets to me. Its a shame as it does spoil things and brings back stuff I would rather forget.  Still I got through another visit which I am proud of.  You have hit the nail on the head mentioning guilt and shame, so much of both and I know none of it was my fault but its hard to not feel part of it.

    It pains me to think that you were feeling all the blame for your stillborn babies, for me that means they were not meant to be.  I had a miscarriage but felt that child was not meant to be. I felt that maybe there was something wrong with my tiny embryo and that is why it didn't develop. You were in no way to blame, nature just took its course.

    I have just been gardening, adding bromeliads to the garden both red and green ones. Trying to make it a low maintenance garden.

    I hope you enjoyed the service this morning.

    'Be well and upright' as a friend of mines says.

    Hugs

    Anne

     

  19. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    11 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Dear Anne,

    Hi. I have been quite busy lately so have not been in touch for a few days. I had a lovely Easter. I enjoyed the Church services and also had two of my nieces here with us for a couple of days which was wonderful. We had an Easter egg hunt which was lots of fun.

    I had a little giggle to myself regarding the Sudoku and the hard puzzles and how you like them because they don't take so long to do. I am not very good at the easy ones, let alone the hard ones and they take me ages to solve! Ha. Ha.

    Did you manage to get to the second hand shop? I popped into one the other day for a bit of a look around. I also have one of my clients who is emptying out cupboards so I have been given a few treasures from him, including a beautiful Royal Doulton cup and saucer.

    It was very hard to accept when our babies died, two reached 21 weeks gestation and an autopsy showed there was nothing wrong with them at all. I have learnt now to let go of the guilt and the shame and to release the grief as well.

    I hope you can find ways to care for yourself and to let go of all the negative emotions that you still have. It is a tough journey, but it is worth it in the end.

    Congratulations on being able to still see your brother and be part of the family get togethers. It must be very difficult for you at times.

    Regarding memory, mine is really bad at times and I just turn it into a joke now. My nieces have quite a laugh at me when I forget what I have given them as a gift. One year a friend received three birthday cards as I had forgotten I had sent her one at all. Ha. Ha.

    I commented on a scarf my sister was wearing once and I asked her where she got it from, she told me I had made it for her birthday only 4 months previously. If my memory problems become too much I will have a chat with the Dr. As long as I find my way home each day, that is the main thing. Ha. Ha.

    Hope you had a lovely Easter weekend.

    Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

  20. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    12 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Everyone,

    I've had a great day. I found a lovely message on my email from someone asking how I was feeling. It is nice to know people care.

    Looking at the clock I discovered it was already 8.30 a.m. and I should have been heading out the door to church, but I had still not had my breakfast or brushed my teeth.

    By the time I arrived at Church I was running late and had totally forgot I was supposed to be reading out the notices! Oh dear!

    Thankfully I remembered to fill the car with petrol as it was on empty! I then drove off to have lunch with friends. I had forgotten to buy a gift for my friend's Birthday, so thankfully the shops were open so I could purchased her a gift.

    We all had a lovely chat and I remembered where I lived and made it home okay! Ha. Ha. So it was a good day!

    Cheers from Mrs. Dools

     

  21. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    13 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Mrs Dools,

    I can do the easy and medium Sudoku with little effort and some of the hard ones but with the super hard or extreme forget it.

    Yes I did get to the second hand shop and found a black twin candle holder, looks good, I will frequent the shop and check it out.

    I have been working on releasing the bad/negative energy but it's difficult, seeing my brother at Easter I was on edge and ever vigilant. I am doing exposure work with writing down an incident with my brother write every morning, it turns my stomach but I am giving it a go.

    My memory is a shocker too, the psychologist said its tied into the PTSD which makes me feel a little better. I can't remember much of my childhood or even what happened last week sometimes.  Names forget it.  We have bad memory in common.

    I have been buying more stuff for my unit and it is starting to look really warm and inviting, so different to before, much more color.  I am surprised what you can do on the cheap.

    I have a nice blue plague with white writing saying Relax in all different sizes the writing that is.  I look at it all the time and remind myself to relax.

    I went to the beach yesterday with two friends and collected shells to put in a glass bowl but didn't get enough. A good excuse to go back to the beach. We had fish and chips later in the day.  Overall it was a good day and I don't have many of them so I will treasure it.

    Don't ever think people don't care because they do, maybe they just don't know how to show it.

    I care.

    Have a good week.

    Hugs

    Anne

     

  22. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    13 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    HI Anne,

    It sounds like your unit is coming along nicely. Yes it is very surprising to see what you can find in a second hand shop.

    At the moment I have a client who is cleaning out stuff from his home. He has offered it to me and anything I don't want he has suggested I give it to the Church for their sales or to the second hand shop.

    I have been able to pass on some things to my friends and my family. He had a huge cooking pot I gave to my Dad as he likes to make jam. A friend loves anything that looks old so I gave her an enamel jug the guy was throwing out. She was so thrilled when I gave it to her on the weekend.

    I dropped off some bags of stuff for the second hand shop, so hopefully someone will like some of it.

    Today I had two clients to assist. One of them is becoming a little "naughty" as I ask her if she wants something from the street and she will say no and tells me she has a long list of house hold jobs for me to do for her.

    I am supposed to be taking her shopping! Anyway, when I have only 1/2 hr of allocated time left, she will tell me she needs to go to the shops to pick up her medication and buy some vegetables! It takes about 10 minutes just to get her out to the car! Ha. Ha.

    Next week I will definitely tell her we need to go to the shops first if she wants to go or it will not happen as I have another client to assist after I see her.

    I was late for the next lady and had to apologise to her, that then made it even later for me to arrive home.

    We had some more rain today, so that will be very nice for the garden. The grass is starting to grow so the chooks will be very happy when I let them out for a run.

    I'm hoping to get to the beach again soon as well. Hope you have found some nice shells.

    Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools

  23. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    17 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs Dools,

    Sorry I haven't answered you sooner but my phone won't let me answer posts so have to wait till I get on the computer.

    Yes my unit is looking so good and different to what it was before, it's homely now and feels warm and welcoming. It's becoming such a positive in my life.

    I have a friend that does the same work as you do, she loves it. Looks like you need to put some boundaries in place with your client, easier said than done isn't it.  I use to work in nursing homes and the oldies are so set in there ways and can be cunning when they want something.  They are such dears and deserve the best.

    I am having a really bad day,  doing exposer work for the psychologist, writing stuff down about my brother and it mucks up my head.  I had so many nightmares last night that I am really down this morning but I am at my volunteer job so have to hold it together until I get home. So agitated. I know in the long run it will be good but right now it is the pits.

    I get so sick of dealing with the past but it haunts me and just hangs around no matter how hard I try to let it go. 

    Anyway better go.

    Have a wonderful week and thanks for talking with me.

    Lots of love

    Anne

     

     

  24. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    18 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Dear Anne,

    Hi. Great to hear from you again. I am sorry to read that you have been having such a rough time, I can only imagine what you have been through and continue to experience emotionally and mentally.

    It is wonderful you are happy with the transformation of your unit. I am liking this change of season, as in the summer we pull the curtains and blinds down to shut out the heat. Now it is Autumn and cooler, we can have the blinds and curtains open.

    Where we live we don't need to be concerned about anyone looking in, so it is great! I am hoping to get out into the garden later. I will need my rubber boots on as it has been so delightfully wet here recently.

    I've been a bit flat this last week. I feel like I am chasing my tail all of the time and getting no where! I just don't seem to find the time to do the things I would like to do. That then frustrates me which makes me annoyed and then angry! Oh dear!

    Today is a new day, so I will try to make the most of it. We have friends coming around for dinner and the evening, so that will be nice. I will think of a dairy free dessert to make later on.

    There is a man from our Church whom I am assisting at present. When he is not home his son pops in to check up on me. Neither of them are very friendly and his son especially is very curt, abrupt and blunt. Some people have poor social skills or they consider themselves better than a person cleaning for them! Ha. Ha.

    While I am out in the garden, I will have a look to see if there is anything I can bring inside to put in vases to make our home look more alive and fresh! That will add another dimension to the place.

    I hope you have some nice plans for the weekend.

    All the best to you, from Mrs. Dools

     

     

     

  25. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    19 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Morning Mrs Dools,

    So good of you to reply, it gives me something to look forward to.

    Yes it is a bit rough and has been for a very long time but I do have snippets of good days and I cherish these.  I know it will get better, I just have to put in the hard work and be patient but it does get trying day after day. I have Dysthymia so will never be a happy chappie all the time but some time would be good.

    I am liking my unit, I can't believe how different it is and how different I feel in it, it is pleasant and welcomes me home which it never did before. Sounds like a person doesn't it, no only my cat to greet me, he was hand raised so has known nothing but human company. To him I am his mum.

    Yes sometimes there are not enough hours in the day and others times there are too many.

    Hope your dinner party went well.  I am heading over to a friends for lunch today, we are both watching what we eat, ha ha, so it will be tuna and salad, still yummy.

    That's unfortunate that neither of these men, including the one you care for, are pleasant considering what you are doing for them, unfair on you. Be happy in the fact that you are doing your best and helping them no matter how ungrateful they may be.

    The psychologist I am seeing on the Mental Health Plan is terrific and so helpful, on Tuesday I am up to number 8 of 10 sessions, my psychiatrist wants me to have another 10 sessions and I am blessed with a wonderful brother who is willing to pay for them, I can't afford it. So looks like I will be progressing with the hard yards and hoping with everything crossed that I will be so much stronger and feeling happier at the end. My brother doesn't know about the incest and I am not about to tell him, he knows I suffer from depression, anxiety, dysthymia and PTSD, that is all he needs to know for now.

    Better go and get ready to go out.

    Hope you have a wonderful week and managed to find some flowers in your garden to brighten up your house.

    Hugs

    Anne

  26. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
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    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    19 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Dear Anne,

    Hi. I too look forward to your replies, so we are both helping each other through our friendship here at BB. If others are reading our messages back and forth, hopefully they too are encouraged by our sharing and realise people are willing to listen to and support each other.

    It is wonderful your brother is able to help you financially so you can continue with your treatment sessions. If you don't mind me asking, how many brothers do you have? Any sisters? I have two sisters.

    My day at Goolwa didn't go quite to plan, but I still had a lovely day. My husband decided to just drop me off in the town while he went off to join in with the meeting he was attending. Usually I have the car and pick him up later, so I missed out on my walk along the beach as it was too far away.

    I did enjoy a look around the local market and a  walk along a path near the river and a road. I saw some pelicans, so that was lovely.

    Our evening with friends went well. My friend can not have any dairy produce and is a very healthy eater, so we had chicken and salad while the others had pizza. We had a wonderful surprise when their 18 year old daughter decided to join us and later told us she would like to stay over at our place one weekend.

    I didn't find any flowers in our garden apart from geraniums and my husband dislikes them with a passion. Ha. Ha. So I found some stems of different bushes and made up a vase  full of bits and pieces. It looks quite nice.

    We have cat too. She was purchased form an animal rescue place when she was 15 months old and is not at all friendly. She doesn't like a pat nor to be held, but she is so funny at times she cracks me up laughing.

    I'm going to try to push myself to go for a walk in the morning and in-between clients I am going to the indoor pool.

    You are right, I won't allow those two guys to get under my skin. I will be polite and courteous to them and do my work well. I'm not going there as their friend after all, maybe they just see me as a person working for them!

    Hope you have a good week.

    Chat with you again soon, from Mrs. Dools 

     

  27. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    21 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs Dools,

    So glad you feel as I do about writing here and keeping contact, it helps me to know others like me.

    Spoke to my psychologist and she is only to happy to add another 10 session on.  Todays session was difficult as I showed her the writings I have been doing about my brother, I think I was teary before she had finished reading.  I did it though with the aim of it helping me no matter how painful now.

    Brothers I have 4, one in Scotland, London, (he is paying for my sessons) Gosford and THE brother in Brunswick Heads NSW. No sisters. Day died many years ago, mum is still going strong.

    Ohh, sorry to hear you missed out on your walk along the beach, I don't get there very often but find it very soothing and it's like I have no worries when paddling along the waters edge.

    You and your husband must be a warm and caring couple as it's unusual for a young one to want to stay at and older couples home.  I am 60 so I get it. By calling yourself Mrs I am presuming you are over 45, if you don't write back I know I am wrong. :)

    I have geraniums growing,  a light and another bright pink, red and orange. I love them as I can't kill them Ha Ha.

    My last cat wasn't friendly at all, look at him twice and he would scratch you whereas, my present cat wants constant cuddles, the moment my bum hits the lounge chair he is on my lap wanting affection. Its beautiful but at times I am to edgy to have him at me all the time, I'm sure you know what I mean.

    I got a nice surprise yesterday, where I volunteer they offered to pay me for a couple of days work as I do spent a lot of time there and they have a bit of money left over this financial year.  They have uni student placements there and the manager doesn't like leaving them there without her or a long term volunteer so when she is stuck I often offer to help out.  I don't mind as I prefer to keep busy, it helps with my mental state. I am saving for a couch so it will help heaps.

    Nearly run out of space so better be off.

    Have a wonderful week.

    Hugs

    Anne

  28. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    22 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Hi Anne,

    Depression and mental illness can rob us all of so much love and care that others would gladly give us, only we feel like we don't deserve it! I am sure there are so many people who are very thankful that you are around!

    That is wonderful news regarding some paid work! Congratulations to you! I have managed to gain employment three times through volunteer work. I am so pleased you will soon be buying a new couch! You and the cat will love that.

    Yes, I am over 45, I was 50 last year and had a wonderful party. My husband will be 50 this year and does not want a party at all, just a small gathering of friends at a restaurant somewhere.

    I understand the tears at a session with the psychologist. I have been working through the loss of our babies and that has been tough. Tears are healing, I feel they are very cleansing.

    I also totally get the feeling of peace that can fill you at the beach. I'm at my calmest at the beach I think. Even when there is a storm, I love it at the beach. Maybe not when it is as wild as Sydney though! The East coast is having a rough time right now!

    Geraniums are very hardy aren't they! I was so surprised to find that the frost here nearly killed our geraniums and a lot of the succulents as well. It has been interesting discovering plants that can live through the winter frosts and the 40 degree dry summers!

    My husband and I aren't really what you would call a loving couple. We love each other in our own funny ways though so I suppose that is all that matters. My husband calls me his "friend" and doesn't like me to touch him at all or sit next to him on the couch.

    Sometimes I feel like our marriage is one of convenience for us both. We have separate bedrooms, not a thing I would have ever envisaged at my age in life.

    I'm grateful that we don't fight, there is no violence and I have plenty to be thankful for.

    It is wonderful that our friend's daughter wants to come and stay sometime as do my nieces. So yes, we do love and care for others and make them feel welcome here.

    I'm meeting a couple of new clients these next two weeks so will see how that goes!

    Cheers for now, from Mrs. Dools

  29. Hopefullseeking
    Hopefullseeking avatar
    228 posts
    23 April 2015 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Mrs Dools

    Depression does rob us of our self worth, very true.

    Yes I was shocked when the manager offered me some paid hours, very much appreciated. I am on the DSP but fortunately I also live in a Dept. of Housing flat so the rent is affordable.  I manage my money very well but do miss out on some luxuries, that's fine though I manage.

    It must be really tough for you working through the issues surrounding the loss you must be feeling, I can't imagine the loss of a child let alone two.

    No, not Sydney beaches thank you, my brother at Gosford has had damage not much thank goodness.

    We don't get frosts here so my garden keeps growing through winter, not as much as summer of course. I can get lost in my garden, it isn't big but I do get a lot out of it.

    Sorry to hear your marriage isn't all you want it to be, a bit sad but in some relationships people get on better living separate lives under the same roof. Glad to hear you don't fight, my marriage was abusive and it is extremely difficult to come back from that.

    Good luck with you new clients, lets hope they are more receptive to your work than those two gentlemen.

    Not much more to say today.

    Hugs

    Anne

     

     

  30. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    24 April 2015 in reply to Hopefullseeking

    Hi Anne and anyone else who is reading this,

    ( Hope you all feel welcome to add to our "chat" here if you want to. It is nice just to keep in touch)

    My morning client cancelled this morning as I was to wash her curtains and it was raining, so we have postponed it for another day. It is the wrong time of year to be washing curtains really!

    I popped in to meet my new clients who actually live just around the block from us. They both seem very nice. The lady has a twin tub washing machine! Apart from my Mum, who still has twin tubs! One of my jobs is to do their washing!

    Her husband was a dear and said he hopes I will be happy in their home working for them. I am not being rude or anything, but he is the oldest looking person I have ever seen, and I used to work in a home for the elderly. I'm not sure how old they are.

    I've invited my husband out for lunch on Sunday. We are going to a hotel he likes in Port Adelaide and will then have a walk on the beach if it is not raining.

    Anzac Day I am going to be involved in a march. In one of the towns close to us the CFS Country Fire Service Volunteers are invited to march, so I will be doing that.

    I will be thinking of my Great Uncle who fought in WW11in Papua New Guinea, of an old boyfriend, his wife and family who lost a son recently in a Middle Eastern country and also a couple of friends who are in the Navy.

    It is supposedly going to be raining along with strong winds. We will have our CFS gear on, boots and helmets, so we should be okay during the march. I'm not sure what we will be doing after as the RSL in that town is rather small.

    One year I was invited by a friend who had a sister working at an airbase to attend an Anzac Day service at the base. That was a very moving ceremony.

    So I am looking forward to the very different events of this weekend.

    Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

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