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Forums / Staying well / Something I want to share

Topic: Something I want to share

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Gambit87
    Gambit87 avatar
    702 posts
    23 September 2019

    Good morning legends!

    I’ve been thinking about this ever since I spent a few days in Singapore last year and I just want to get it off my mind and share it.

    More so growing up, I’ve always felt like an outcast, invisible, no one really knew I was there - those kind of feelings. Despite having great family and friends.

    My brother spent about a year trying to convince me to join the local taekwondo club. I caved and 7 years on I haven’t looked back. Despite being super self conscious I quickly grew confident because the people were so amazing, great and so so supportive.

    I almost quit in the middle of my black belt grading - the voices in my head were telling me I wasn’t good enough and that I didn’t belong or even deserve a black belt. I told those voices to F off because I remembered the people testing me were actually supporting me! I passed black belt grading!

    A few in my club invited to Singapore for a seminar in another martial art and my mind went into overdrive - ‘what if I’m not good enough’ ‘what if I fail?’ Etc etc

    again my mind was quickly put at ease because the people were amazing and willing to help and show you. I learnt that no matter what martial art you do there’s a real mateship in the community, a universal language?

    Martial arts is a big part of my life and a plays a big role in my staying well strategy. It has taught me that you either win or you learn - there’s no such thing as failure. when I’m not feeling the best or having an off day - I remember what martial arts has taught me.

    thanks for reading and I hope you all have a great day!

    2 people found this helpful
  2. sparrowhawk
    sparrowhawk avatar
    159 posts
    23 September 2019 in reply to Gambit87
    Hi Gambit, thank you so much for what you have shared. Your feelings of being an outcast are ones I resonate with, too. It is so great to hear you have such a wonderful outlet in martial arts, and congratulations on achieving such a milestone!
    I feel the same way about my own exercise; I jump rope. I stopped doing it for a few weeks when I was feeling really depressed, and am only getting back into it now simply through really pushing myself. I do it by myself, but there is a huge online community which is really encouraging. The feeling of achieving something and of looking after your body is excellent.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. ladybird22
    ladybird22 avatar
    23 posts
    23 September 2019 in reply to sparrowhawk
    Yes Gambit and Sparrowhawk I too still to this day feel like an outcast to the rest of the world. I've tried many things, but the issue Ive had is that I've to had to move house many many times and I've lost a lot of my support network. I now live in a rural area and to be honest, although I've looked hard there really isn't much offering in the way of choice for groups, past times and hobbies. I think our support networks are vital to our mental health, but with me its just finding one where I feel I fit in. I'm just taking one day at a time.
  4. sparrowhawk
    sparrowhawk avatar
    159 posts
    23 September 2019 in reply to ladybird22

    Hi ladybird, thanks for sharing here. The feeling of being an outcast, not accepted and not belonging is very difficult and isolating. Moving is not an easy thing because it can remove us from what we know. It sounds like you've experienced lots of disruptions in your life and support network as a result of moving around. That must be hard.

    Rural living can be a challenge for the reason you mentioned; groups for support can be few and far between. Have you any established friendships in your area? Is there anything you do like to do, or do regularly? Perhaps you could even start a group if you felt comfortable. Feeling supported and accompanied is so beneficial. Know that you will always get support here, from me and from others.

    Taking it one day at a time is all we can do. We can have dreams and hopes and wishes for the future, but really all we have is this very day.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. CalmCat
    Champion Alumni
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    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    24 September 2019 in reply to Gambit87

    Hey Gambit87,

    Love what you wrote!

    My psychologist has said two metaphors for life that will always stick with me:

    "You don't find destiny, density finds you."

    "If you think it's a dog eat dog world, your going to be eaten"

    Keep smiling! Sounds like you've found your strength, now make it your own like no one else has before!

    Nail it!

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