Hi Quirky and all posters & readers;
I think my IC and VOR are like two sides of the same person. Its like my inner devil and inner angel. It really depends on the situation to determine who is stronger and the bigger influence.
Thank you for your wonderful insight :) Personally, I feel mine is similar. My inner critic (IC) and voice of reason (VOR) are one and the same too.
I understand the 2 are separate for others though...
Quirky: Your IC sounds very harsh and sure seems to get you down about yourself. That must be hard on you. I feel maybe all those negative comments that you mentioned (above) about yourself is your IC getting under your skin...
As I said to Chloe, my VOR and IC are one and the same. My VOR is my “call to action” so to speak, which is why she tends to be respond best to action rather than a “promise” to act.
If I say or think I’ll do something but don’t follow through, my VOR will be on my case very quickly, which is fair enough in my opinion.
My VOR is like a tough minded but well meaning ally who can be harsh to me at times but is generally fair. If I take steps to make changes or address issues proactively then my VOR backs off and accepts it. She isn’t necessarily “kind” but I feel she is fair to me.
I was actually thinking, and sorry if this has been mentioned before. But I was wondering if you’ve considered maybe cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) with a therapist to help you practise challenging your IC?
Perhaps this is something you might like to consider...just a gentle idea. It might be helpful...
Tim: your VOR clearly operates in a fairly different fashion to mine. I feel it’s interesting how we are all different e.g. your VOR and IC are separate whereas for me, my VOR and IC are one and the same. Everyone is different indeed :)
Nat: it seems like your IC and VOR are 2 separate “voices” too (so to speak) unlike me.
I’m glad you didn’t read my post earlier then. As I said, I was only talking about myself. Yes, my VOR is my VOR alone so try not to take “her” (me) too much to heart. She talks to me and me alone.
Your inner debate sounds exhausting and painful for you. I’m glad you had a rest day yesterday as it sounds like you needed to just be gentle on yourself. As you said, you can try again tomorrow...one day at a time.