Hi Quirky and everyone,
My critic is never quiet.
If I'm relaxing... Lazy. If I'm being shown care... You don't deserve it. If I'm trying... You're useless.
I think I'm so used to hearing my critic I've started to ignore it.
How? Slowing down. Take the time to stop. Examine how I'm feeling. Make sense of the chaos. Write it out. Work out the why and the what behind the feeling.
Then looking at the reactions and the thoughts. Are they unhelpful thoughts? Are they accurate? Am I overreacting or panicking or being harder on myself than I would to others?
It has taken time. And it doesn't always work. Sometimes people are demanding my time and I don't get the space I need to work out how I am feeling.
Then I started to notice patterns. When this happens I feel like this. Or when this happens I catastrophise. Overreact. It has helped me to work out the difference between my voice and the voice of my critic.
So when I recognise the critic. I stop if I can. Take a minute to challenge. Is this helpful to me? Is this realistic? Can I speak up calmly and stop what is happening? Can I walk away and take time to myself?
Ignoring might be the wrong word to explain. More accurately I suppose I recognise and analyse and challenge or push the thought away.
It doesn't always work. Sometimes the self hate is too strong. But I keep trying. Does that help Quirky?
Happy New Year to you all.