I've been using the chart sometimes more effectively than other times. One thing I've noticed is that I feel much better mood wise as well as fatigue when I don't push myself and force myself to have breaks(something which does not come naturally) If I am put under pressure then things go downhill very fast. I need to be better at telling others no rather than pushing myself to keep up with their expectatins

Thanks Elizabeth.

I too find putting pressure on me doesn’t work . It is hard not feel u der pressure at times.

Hello everyone reading,

I observe people on this forum and in my life who are so kind and caring to others but are critical of themselves and very judgmental.

I find it hard to see why we can’t treat ourselves well. I am guilty of this and keep trying to be kinder to myself less critical.

Hi Quirky,

So true. I made a few mistakes at work this week. 1 was cos I didn't know, 1 was a typo. Since working from home I've lost my confidence. I'm not t set up like the office, system is slow or drops out. I've been anxious. I had as chat to one of my managers and told her I fe feel like a failure, like I've let people down. She said no. We all make mistakes, we'rehuman, that I am so good at my job and everyone adores me. I still useless yet when others make mistakes I consider why. Lack of training? Not understanding? Hadnt6been shown/told? On the other hand, I've learnt new things. I came across things I hadn't done before. I did things I hadn't done before. I worked things out that I didn't know. I realised things. I attempted things I'd never done cos my colleague was away. I learnt.

I still see myself as failing though. I'm back in the office next week to help boost my confidence.

Cmf x

Cmf

Thanks for explaining how you feel. Many can relate to what you wrote.
I like the way you have insights into your thinking. You have listed all the things you have learnt and why you have made mistakes and how you try to understand others mistakes.

I try not to use the word fail because in reality as you have mentioned you learnt a lot.

Hi Quirky, CMF and all reading,

The words we use certainly make a difference to how we see, perceive, accept and react to different situations. This was pointed out recently on a different thread.

I know I can re-train my mind to not get stuck in the negatives, it is just not always easy to do so! Sometimes I do not even realise how negative my thoughts have become as that is how I think generally when dealing depressed.

Maybe I need to make up a list of opposites. Accepting and positive words and phrases to replace my negative thoughts I think about myself and my life.

Something to ponder and to try to implement.

Cheers all from Dools

Thanks Dools,

I think not just opposites but looking at how damaging the word fail or hopeless, useless. They are very generals doing inflexible.

Thanks for your comment.

My inner critic is telling me how useless I am. I just let people down.

Guess it's the anxiety fuelling it.

CMF,

what does useless mean. You work and communicate well. With others, you are bringing up several humans to be responsible adults, you are a thoughtful partner , you share your thoughts here with others so they don’t feel alone. I think that shows how useful you are.

Ignore your inner critic .

Now listen to the positive feedback you receive from others.

Whenever I feel a bit lost or insecure I come here to reflect and find some inner strength to stop my negative thoughts.

I am keeping my inner critic at bay by looking for the things I can do .

You guys seem great at managing this inner critic, i would really appreciate if anyone could have a look at my newer thread, im wondering if you guys could offer some tips for me to try and manage

hello startingnew, what is ur thread called? thanks

Hi Sleepy, my thread is called 'struggling with anxiety and self doubt over a great opportunity'

Thanks starting new.

Sleepy I was going to ask same question.

Starting is that in anxiety section.

Starting new

Thank you Quirky,

yes i agree, anything new causes this! i think this one in particular is more nerve wracking but im glad to have the opportunity too. i just have to curb the self doubt and the inner critic saying i cant do it

Starting new

i think if you can break down your new opportunity into small parts so it does not overwhelm you.

Find a positive voice to counter your critic.

Thanks Quirky

yes i think breaking it down will be good. might help with the nerves i feel. i am working to try and get better and the weaknesses i think ill encounter so i can try and be better

SN

xox

Starting New

I like your attitude and determination to try hard to chnage. let us know how you go with your new opportunity.

Thanks Quirky

i am always trying to improve myself. With the current covid situation though if lockdown gets extended much more though looks like it might even have to be cancelled

SN that would be sad but maybe you may get another chance if it was cancelled.

I admire you attitude.

Thank you for your support and advice Quirky xox

I think people’s inner critic tends to come out in lockdown when we may see others busy baking, being creative, exercising. We may compare ourselves to others and feel a bit la y.

My inner critic nags me to do more I am doing what I can.

My inner critic is comparing myself to others. These others are people who are younger than me and who seem to have made something of themselves. It totally disregards me and the things I have done, are doing and perhaps will do in the future.

MarkPiz

thanks for your reply. Sorry it took me a while to see your reply.

I think sometimes we need to challenge our inner critic by saying I may not be as young as others but I have achieved alot.

Can you focus on your positives and try to ignore the inner negative voice?

Hello everyone

I hope 2022 is a hopeful year for everyone.

How is your inner voice, your inner critic , or whatever you call that negative voice that puts you down and doubts your efforts. Some people even give the voice a persons name.

When I find myself listening to my inner voice telling me what mess I have made, I start to think is this real, can I reword it, from you have made a mess, to I made a small mistake but I have learnt from that and I feel proud and confident.

Sometimes the inner critic runs me down and I take on the negativity but I am trying hard to silence the critic.

How are going in taming your inner critic. .?

Hello everyone,

I wonder if like me when you get unexpected criticism from family your inner critic wants to join in.

This usually happens to me but this time I found myself fighting back, trying to be assertive but mostly being emotional. Then later the inner critic was loudly telling me that my fami,y didn’t think I was a good parent and grandparent.

i am still sorting out my reactions and feel the complaints were unfair.
the inner critic is still there but I feel more indignant that the criticism from family was so unfair.
How do others cope in this situation. .?

Hello Quirky,

I am so sure my inner critic just loves to hate me....

Isn’t it strange how it lingers in the background of our minds..It’s in their 24/7 just waiting to spring upon us so quickly when something is said to hurt us...Were is our loving, caring inner critic at the time we need it most....it’s swallowed up by the mean, hurtful inner critic in us....

Do we even have a nice kind inner critic in us...Has anyone ever heard from their kind and caring, soul building inner critic....I wonder?

My kind thoughts, Dear Quirky and everyone..

Grandy..

Thanks Grandy for your post but Isish you didn’t have an inner critic,

For me all inner critics are negative one shompraisesznd encourages and supports is a kind coach, or a helpful counsellor.

posters have written here about an encouraging voice, a You can do it yes you can voice. Those kind voices coexist and I am hopeful one day I will hear one.