I can see your points. They are however different.
Your last example of "wit" was more like automatic protection of your child, or anyones child really. We are programmed this way, most of us anyway.
We with some mental difficulties are often the first to volunteer even though it isn't the best for us due to the stress it gives us. I'm more than a good example.
I've ran car clubs and the like. Thankless tasks.
In our small town of 200 people they have 3 organisations for landcare, a progress group and a recreation reserve management group. I wont volunteer for any of them. I'll give reasons even though I'm at an ideal age to do so.
Recently I wanted the recreation club rooms painted and I was willing to paint them myself...quite a large job. There was so much turmoil about colours I pulled out of the job. It seems nowadays everyone fails to see the bigger picture (i.e. that it is being preserved) and just want to force their views on the basis they have "rights" to do so. Maybe social media has changed things somewhat.?
The problem with those outgoing people like you CMF and myself that have issues of sensitivity and tend to overload ourselves unknowingly...is that we often fall in a heap. So pacing ourselves doesn't come naturally. Just reading your situation whereby you are ringing everyone and others trying to ring you made me squirm, I would run a million miles from that. At 59yo I've carved my own life with all these things. I see clearly the traps I used to fall into and don't go near traps. I protect myself but it isn't easy slowing myself down.
I don't know why we do these things. Might be that inner feeling of liking that pat on the back (nothing wrong with that) or inner satisfaction, wanting to be a good parent etc. But I'm wary now. Like a few years ago when a local group in a town I lived gathered many people to plant trees on a farmers property. We found out later the farmer was extremely rich and would underpay staff and wanted to save money by getting a group to do the work he should pay for.
My faith in society might have dropped. It's "flogging the willing horses" and its common.
You cant "save the world" and think of everything. Others, even our children have to learn their own responsibilities. You cant pick up the threads and block all the holes. If you try then you are worrying and worry isn't a good characteristic for your health and relaxation.
We have to learn to "chill"