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Forums / Staying well / This bipolar life

Topic: This bipolar life

  1. quirkywords
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    4483 posts
    13 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Hello all

    Velvet, so does that mean I am the exception that proves the rule or I don't have bipolar!!, I live in hope.

    Is the research available online?

    I keep hoping I will find a reason but I have no childhood trauma, no thyroid problems, no ancestors with bipolar etc, but may I am just an odd ball!!

    Quirky

  2. velvetfaerie
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    2224 posts
    13 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Not sure. Basically the endocrine system and the neurotransmitter system bounce off each other.

    As they say everything is connected.... the knee bones connected to the shin bone.......

    Odd balls are great. Own that. It is fantastic.

    V.

  3. Loula
    Loula avatar
    335 posts
    13 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie
    Crashing crashing crashing. Black thoughts are getting louder. Nothing I do mentally or medical is working. Freaking out big time. Feel so little and unwanted. Well then again no one from my new job wants to sit with me and I’m a full on loser.
  4. quirkywords
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    13 March 2019 in reply to Loula

    hello everyone,

    Loula, great to hear from you and I am so I am sorry you are feeling like you are crashing.

    I was wondering how your new job and new town is going?

    Have you had some stable times before this or have you been feeling like this for a while.

    You are not a loser who have tried so hard and got through difficult times and you will again.

    You are one of the strongest women I know .

    Quirky

  5. velvetfaerie
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    2224 posts
    13 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    I would come sit with you Loula.

    And we would have fun. Been wondering how you were as well.

    Definitely not a loser. Progressive and you push boundaries. Haters can hate.... but they'll never be as fabulous as you.

    V.

  6. quirkywords
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    13 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Loula

    we are all with you holding your hand and listening to you.

    We ar pe here to support you and are here for you, you are not alone.

    V you are right Loula is fabulous.

    Quirky

  7. asdff
    asdff avatar
    128 posts
    13 March 2019
    Sorry I've been missing in action. Busy.Kid's sports, husband's many Birthday parties. etc Could be hypomanic. I shall read all replies I've missed.
  8. asdff
    asdff avatar
    128 posts
    13 March 2019 in reply to asdff

    Velvet yay for new gym! I have had hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism. After 3 years of ups and downs. I told endocrinologist enough. It was eith radio iodine or total thyroidectomy. We ended up with total thyroidectomy, as I had little children. I didn't want to be away from them. Got my diagnosis for Grave's Disease.

    I also told more close friends about being bipolar2 on the weekend. Everyone was fine. No judgement that I could tell. Everyone at the table had a family member who had been hospitalised for mental health. It made me feel much more accepted.

  9. quirkywords
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    14 March 2019 in reply to asdff

    Hello all

    asdff, no need for sorry just post when you want to. you have a lot on your plate.

    Have you settled back into children being at school ?

    I am glad you met up with friends and felt accepted. I have found the more honest I am the more it allows other people to tell their stories about themselves or their families.

    Hypothyroidism , are people with bp routinely tested? I suppose

    Iwould know it if I had it wouldn’t I .

    Quirky

  10. asdff
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    128 posts
    14 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Quirky your GP would have to suspect you have hypothyroidism. Weight gain, finding it hard to lose weight, sluggish, tired. After I had my thyroid out I became hypothyroid. I had small children, who still napped. I got the baby to bed. Then the toddler, if I could get her to watch Play School on the TV. I would nap. My kids didn't have day sleeps till they were 4 or anything nice. They cut them out early :(

    I am thankful times and attitudes are changing towards mental health. Imagine living 40/50 years having to keep hush hush?

  11. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2224 posts
    15 March 2019 in reply to asdff

    One job..... took 4.5 hours for me to. Usually takes no more than 1 hour. I kept stuffing it up.

    I am sick of people at me to do things, listen to their carry on about issues they face, (some big which is fair enough) and be expected to run after them. I have told them all about my health issues. None listened. They keep on at me. I said "have you even HEARD WHAT I SAID!!!????" Clearly not. All more concerned about themselves. NO I WILL NOT BE DRIVING ALL OVER THE CITY TONIGHT TO SUIT YOU!

    I am so angry. So tired. So dizzy. So fed up. I keep crying out of anger and frustration at the above and the fact I want to do things but I am so exhausted I simply cannot. I don't even have the energy to go food shopping.

    **RANT OVER and love to you guys**

    Side note - my psychiatrist did not run one blood test. He made an assumption with no medical evidence. I am ANGRY about this as well.

    V.

  12. quirkywords
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    16 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie

    hello all

    Hi Velevt, you sound like you need a calming bubble bath.

    I am sorry you are angry and people are using you and not appreciating you have needs and deserves some tlc.

    Hope you have a peaceful weekend or a treats one good thing happens to you.

    Quirky

  13. velvetfaerie
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    2224 posts
    17 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Longest week ahead ever. My fiasco and now dads having one too. Poor mum!!!!

    This weekend I’ve done what I can for me. I got no energy and it frustrates me to tears.

    I cleaned my bath so maybe a bubble bath is in order 🙂

    Hope the weekend is kind to y’all.

    I think it’s coffee time here....

  14. Susie Rose
    Susie Rose avatar
    6 posts
    17 March 2019

    Hi everyone,

    I'm new here. Diagnosed bipolar 2 over 2 years ago. Treatment with medication was excellent and now I'm trying to be meds free in preparation for starting a family. It's tough. 9 weeks since coming off and I felt ok until the last 2-3 weeks. Anxiety has hit me pretty bad. No real reason to be anxious. Life is good, but holding a lot of tension and little things can set me off.

    Meditation, exercise, chocolate, camomile tea, journal writing, colouring books, vitamin B...trying everything and hoping it will pass soon.

    Hope you're all ok and looking after yourselves. X

  15. rubyde
    rubyde avatar
    26 posts
    17 March 2019 in reply to Susie Rose

    Hi Everyone,

    Susie Rose, Welcome! This is a wonderful thread full of super lovely and supportive people. It sounds like you're doing all the right things to combat your anxiety, best of luck and I hope you feel better soon.

    Velvet, Asdff and Quirky I hope you're all doing okay!


  16. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2224 posts
    18 March 2019 in reply to rubyde

    I am checking in.... I am too tired to formulate a decent reply except welcome to Susie..... These guys are cool.

    V.

  17. quirkywords
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    18 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Hello everyone,

    I too welcome you Susie Rose, it is wonderful to have new names as well as our wonderful more familiar names.We are friendly and supportive as you can tell by V and rubyde welcoming you.

    I like your list of things that help especially chocolate and camomile tea. Colouring books create tension for me as I am messy and could never colour between the lines,

    Please feel free to ask any questions or just drop in whenever you like and say hello.

    quirky

  18. velvetfaerie
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    2224 posts
    18 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords
    **waves to all from the couch**
  19. Susie Rose
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    6 posts
    18 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Thank you everyone 😊 A problem shared is a problem halved (supposedly) and it's nice to share with people that understand.

    A good night's sleep makes a world of difference. How does everyone go about getting enough sleep or coping with the sleepless nights?

    Hope you're getting enough rest V.

    Have a great week.

  20. quirkywords
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    18 March 2019 in reply to Susie Rose

    Hello all and waves to V and everyone reading,

    Susie great question andone dear to me.

    i can’t recall the last time I slept for than 2 to 2 1/ 2 hrs without waking up.

    i have a physical reason I wake up a lot but then can’t get back to sleep as I start ruminating. I am doing a 6 week free online course on mindfulness and have tried this for quite a long time and thousands of other things to aid getting back to sleep but nothing helps.

    I am always interested in others experiences.

    Quirky

  21. rubyde
    rubyde avatar
    26 posts
    18 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords
    Hi Everyone,
    Waves to you V, I hope you are resting well.

    Susie and Quirky, I think sleep is very important too. I have been sleeping very badly recently and it definitely affects my mood. If I am tired I will often be either cranky or sad for the rest of the day, but then I often won't sleep well the next night either. I got medication to help me sleep but its effectiveness has worn off and I'm back to taking a long time to get to sleep and waking up again and again during the night.

    Quirky, how do you deal with never getting a good night's sleep? You must be exhausted all the time!
  22. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2224 posts
    18 March 2019 in reply to rubyde

    I’m resting. Went to urgent care clinic out of frustration. They can’t help me but I’ve got tomorrow off work and I’m seeing the doctor to start treatment. Very low in iron and b12. No wonder I’m sleepy all the time and groggy and moody with headache. I’ll be likely staring on injections tomorrow. Good I HOPE IT WORKS!!!

    I don’t recommend this for sleep assistance lol.

    When I sleep well and not deficient in nutrients I’m such a happier person. Atm I’m not. I’m crying out of frustration because my energy is gone :(

    They say good sleep in the basis of good MH....... I see a correlation....

    v

  23. quirkywords
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    18 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Hello everyone

    Rubyde

    thanks for sharing your experience. I suppose Imlearn to live it so. Have low expectations of what a good night sleep is. that’s why after I close my shop at 5 pm each day I just rest .

    Velvet I hope you get better soon and the injections work .

    Quirky

  24. Susie Rose
    Susie Rose avatar
    6 posts
    20 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Thank you for sharing everyone.

    Quirky - mindfulness is great for slowing down the racing thoughts and hopefully it will help you with sleep.

    Rubyde - do you have some good nights and some bad nights? When I'm feeling "up" or anxious I don't sleep well. And when I start to feel low I sleep a lot more.

    Velvet - I'm glad you went to get some help. Sounds like the low iron and B12 was a big factor so hopefully you'll be feeling better soon ☺ it's good to cry and let your emotions out.

    Take care everyone. Susie.

  25. Tams20
    Tams20 avatar
    288 posts
    20 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi everyone - and welcome Susie!

    Susie it's exciting to hear that you're about to start a family, hope it all goes well for you. I am also BP2, diagnosed almost a year ago. I had two children before my diagnosis, one that almost brought me undone was the sleep deprivation... I ended up with PND both times (worse with my first) and for me I think it was a combination of stress, anxiety and very little sleep. I battled through it without seeking help and that was a mistake. I kept it to myself, my husband didn't even really know what I was going through. Do you have a good support network that will be able to help out?

    Velvet, asdff, sorry to hear that you're having a rough time... and Loula - how are you going now? You sounded very stressed out in your last message. We'd love an update from you?

    Quirky, Rubyde, Airies and everyone else - hope you are well :-)

    Tams

  26. quirkywords
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    20 March 2019 in reply to Tams20

    Hello all

    Tams great to here from you.

    Susie thanks for your helpful comments. I was diagnosed erode I had chi,done but it was a long time ago and I was in denial. I didn’t seek help until my youngest of 3 was about 18 months . Well I did not seek help but was pressured by family, I agree with seeking help and getting support like Tams suggested.

    V I hope you are ok .

    I have had a few days away seeing both my oarteners and my family and it has been fun and tiring and not much time fore internet.

    Quirky

  27. Susie Rose
    Susie Rose avatar
    6 posts
    21 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Tams and Quirky,

    Thanks for sharing your stories. It must have been really tough getting a diagnosis with young children.

    I was diagnosed after having a manic episode while overseas. Had 2 horrible experiences in hospital and mum had to fly over to bring me home.

    But I think things do get a little easier once you know what it is you're dealing with.

    After I have a baby I'll be back on medication so won't be able to breastfeed, so my partner can help with feeding while we both try to get enough sleep...hopefully!!

    Support networks are important. Not many of my friends know about my BP2 yet...will try to tell more.

    Hope you had a good time with your family Quirky. Almost the weekend again!

    Susie

  28. quirkywords
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    21 March 2019 in reply to Susie Rose

    Hello all

    Susie,

    I have had a diagnosis of bipolar( but way back then it was called manic depression so technically I have ne ver been diagnosed with bipolar!!) fo over 45 years so longer than many people reading this.

    I have learnt you need to trust your own instincts unless someone you really trust is worried about your behavior.

    It has taken me many decades not to feel shame and to feel my experiences are valued by others. I used to be too ashamed to tell anyone and now I have given talks to many different community groups.

    I used to think all my problems were due to my bp but after talking to other mums they often had similar concerns and they thought I was so confident.

    Susie you sound much more mature and prepared than I ever was before I had children.

    Quirky

  29. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2224 posts
    22 March 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Checking in. Will read soon. Wiped out but ok .... had iron Infusion yesterday so I’ll be back to my old self soon.

    I want liquorice so BAD! No idea why!!!

    V.

  30. Airies
    Airies avatar
    465 posts
    22 March 2019 in reply to velvetfaerie

    V.,

    hopefully return to your old self soon Sounds like you getting the things you need done.Licorice yummm have some for me as well. Love chocolate coated Licorice bullets. Accidentally bought dark chocolate covered diring my last frantic dash up the supermarket aisles and loved it. Don't do Dutch Licorice simply not for me.Be kind to yourself. I think we are pretty good at picking ourselves up once the wheels fall off. It's a case of here we go again. It's tiring. Speaking of which I'm selling the drum kit. Another impulsive buy. Luckily my wife is pretty good about it. Anyway it's never a dull moment around us.

    cheers

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